Pandas

Friday

The Spectator

Trump rails against ‘rigged’ trial

Former president Donald Trump railed against the “rigged” trial that saw him convicted on thirty-four felony charges during a forty-minute press conference at Trump Tower in New York on Friday. In addition to speaking about the case and the individuals he believed to be responsible for corrupting it — DA Alvin Bragg, Judge Juan Merchan and his former lawyer Michael Cohen, among others — Trump went on offense against the Biden campaign and administration and tied this latest trial to the years-long investigation into alleged Russian collusion and the three other cases pending against him. He claimed the United States is now officially a “fascist” country, flipping the term that Democrats have long used to describe him and and his plans for a second term.

Thursday

Matthew Foldi

Why is America is giving up our panda to China?

America is surrendering its native-born panda to the Chinese Communists, and the Chinese Communist Party — and a premier taxpayer-funded museum and a top defense contractor are helping to foot the bill for the goodbye party. Xiao Qi Ji, an American-born panda whose name means “little miracle,” will be shipped back to China later this month — and the Smithsonian’s National Zoo is having an entire panda-fest to celebrate this humiliation. “We are going big because they are going home,” the National Zoo boasted in its announcement of a nine-day celebration filled with screenings of Kung Fu Panda, yoga sessions and panda-themed items. “Tasty celebratory treats will be provided courtesy of the Embassy of the People’s Republic of China.

panda

Tuesday

Tyler Grant

America should kidnap pandas to end the trade war

It’s near the witching hour as the wolves begin to howl, the Tasmanian devil spins itself into a frenzy, and the red-eyed tree frog blinks into glass. The zoo is oddly quiet as US commandos (trained in zoology) scale the walls and deploy a well-placed and tiny explosive gum inside the lock to pop open the enclosure. The sleepy giant simply rolls over with dreams of bamboo and blasé dancing in its head. A bearded captain pulls out a black sack and pulls it over the animal’s head as they tranquilize the heavy sleeper — the panda rendition is complete. That’s right, I am proposing kidnapping the American domiciled pandas to expedite an end to the US-China trade war.

pandas