Meghan markle

Meghan has ‘moved on’ from the royal racism row

After over three years of incessant scheming, moaning and making specious accusations of racism against her in-laws, Meghan Markle’s PR team are insisting she has "moved on." In a statement press secretary Ashley Hansen claimed: “The Duchess of Sussex is going about her life in the present, not thinking about correspondence from two years ago related to conversations from four years ago. “Any suggestion otherwise is false and frankly ridiculous. We encourage tabloid media and various royal correspondents to stop the exhausting circus that they alone are creating.” It’s important to add here that the statement was first posted by the Sussexes’ personal cheerleader and royal reporter Omid Scobie.

meghan markle podcast racism

Meghan Markle and Princess Di among top requested celebrity sex dolls: report

A British sex doll manufacturer is claiming that the top celebrities his customers request likenesses of include Princess Diana, Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle. However Ben Stroud, CEO of Inferno Official, says that his company wouldn't fulfill such orders because he is a "royalist" at heart and "taste" and "decency" wouldn't allow it. Add "legal action" to that list. "We get requests for Princess Diana regularly, especially after the latest series of The Crown, but we would never open ourselves up to accusations of cheapening her memory," Stroud told the SWNS newswire. Instead, Stroud and his company profit in the much more dignified work of selling sex-doll lookalikes of minor adult film stars, listed on their website for $10,000 a piece.

meghan markle sex doll

Meghan Markle ‘may not have been welcome’ at coronation

Prince Harry will attend the coronation of his father, King Charles III next month alone, according to Buckingham Palace. Meghan Markle will stay in California with Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet. After months of speculation, with the sources claiming that the Sussexes "weren't sure" if they would attend after the latest fall out from Harry's bombshell memoir, Spare, it has now be announced that the prince will attend, but his wife, Meghan stay in California with their children, Buckingham Palace says. Critics have bashed the pair for not deciding quicker, after they were formally invited over one month ago. A source close to the family, who will attend the coronation said: "Her presence may not have been entirely welcome. It's more likely she would have been booed.

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Gisele Fetterman’s humble-brag, ‘woe is me’ op-ed

Gisele Fetterman, wife of Pennsylvania’s US senator John, has written an op-ed for Elle magazine, of which Cockburn is naturally an avid reader. The essence of her piece is: “I am perfect the way I am — and how dare you criticize me. Also I’m a volunteer firefighter.” John Fetterman, readers will recall, suffered a stroke last year during the Democratic primary for Senate against Conor Lamb. He won regardless, lining up a head-to-head with Republican candidate Dr. Oz. His one performance on the debate stage raised alarms, even from the mainstream media, over claims he was perfectly fine following his serious health scare and was ready to serve.

Prince Harry is surrounded by victims

In a shocking twist after the last three years of Prince Harry’s perpetual victimhood tour, last night in a live therapy session the prince finally admitted what we’ve known all along: that he isn’t one. Back on the stage for a live streamed Q&A with toxic trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté, Harry claimed, “I definitely don't see myself as a victim.” You had to pay thirty bucks a head for the pleasure, but boy it was worth it to hear that. Victim, no. Narcissist, maybe. Later in the interview Harry said that sharing his experiences of his terrible life in his bombshell memoir Spare “feels like an act of service.” I’m sure his late grandmother would have different views on what a lifetime of service actually entails.

prince harry victim

Trump launches TV war against Meatball Ron

Poll: Harry and Meghan’s record unpopularity Prince Harry has been ostracized this week after getting the boot from daddy. King Charles reportedly let his son and daughter-in-law know that they had to vacate their belongings from Frogmore Cottage with four chilling words, which were that the royal residence was now "needed for someone else.” Good job the whining pair have found sanctuary across the Pond, right? Wrong. Harry’s popularity in the US has sunk forty-eight points since December and his wife Meghan's has dropped forty points, giving them net approval ratings of minus ten for the duke and minus seventeen for the duchess, according to polling by Redfield & Wilton for Newsweek.

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Spotify logs losses and cuts jobs after splurging on Meghan

Being friends with Meghan Markle may cost you socially, but now it’s looking like it’ll ruin you financially as well. The streaming service Spotify has logged $230 million in losses, after the CEO has admitted to getting "carried away" with major investments in the past year. This includes Spotify’s lightbulb moment of throwing $18 million at Meghan and Harry for, checks notes, twelve hours of content, where Duchess Difficult invents more things to complain about. Prince Harry mustered up as much brain power as he could for the podcast, which saw him telling tennis star Serena Williams, “I like what you've done with your hair. It's a great vibe.” Enlightening, Haz.

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The art of the royal memoir

By the time you read this piece, Prince Harry’s autobiography Spare will have been published in the United States. The question of whether it’s any good will be decided swiftly by the newspaper and online literary critics, but we in the monthly magazine trade have, alas, been denied the opportunity to see it before our publication deadlines. Under normal circumstances, this would bode very badly indeed. As with films that are not screened for critics beforehand — “because we want the audience to discover the magic for themselves” — books that have very tight publication schedules and are embargoed to the hilt are usually seen as flops-in-prospect.

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Harry and William’s royal rumble

Britain has spoken. After extracts from Prince Harry’s memoir, Spare, were leaked to the Guardian, the overwhelming reaction to the book's explosive claims is "what kind of man wears a necklace?" Describing a confrontation at his London home in 2019, Harry says that his brother William called Meghan Markle “difficult,” “rude” and “abrasive,” which Harry calls a “parroting of the press narrative” about his American wife. Or maybe those were just the first three adjectives that sprung to mind about moaning Meg. Harry goes on to describe how William “grabbed me by the collar, ripping my necklace, and... knocked me to the floor.” Heroic Haz then writes that he gave his brother a glass of water and said: “Willy, I can’t speak to you when you’re like this.

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Prince Harry’s latest contradiction 

Prince Harry has bared his soul in explosive interviews for the publicity of his upcoming memoir, Spare. Just kidding. Naturally Humdrum Haz is droning on about the same obscure claims he and his wife have been recycling for the past two years. The evil "institution," the big bad press and the mystic royal "they," who seems to be a nonbinary Illuminati-like figure pulling the strings of the entire British Isles. This time, with ITV’s Tom Bradby, the Duke claimed, “I would like to get my father back. I would like to have my brother back.” Who could possibly imagine why King Charles and Prince William might want to keep Harry at arm's length? Anyone? "It never needed to be this way," the prince said. He wanted a family, not an institution!

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The top 10 Cockburns of 2022

2022 was another landmark year for DC’s most disheveled correspondent. He was outside the courthouse when Johnny Depp won his defamation suit, and outside the Supreme Court when Roe fell. He observed mourners for Queen Elizabeth in London, went to Congress with an NBA star, lifted the lid on the "toxic" work culture at the startup where Prince Harry "works," listened to too many episodes of his wife's podcast and debunked a flimsy hoax about Lauren Boebert. He quaffed his way through several Christmas parties, think-tank mixers, campaign fundraisers and conferences with national conservatives, Texas conservatives, libertarians and sexual deviants.

jill biden

A united royal Christmas… without Meghan and Harry

It was no surprise that Prince Harry and Meghan were absent from Britain's royal Christmas celebrations at Sandringham after their recent outbursts. Their Netflix documentary cemented what we already knew: there is no going back. Instead, the pair opted for a Californian Christmas. Away from the pomp and pageantry of the royal family’s traditions, the day was described as low-key, choosing to spend their days playing games like "pin the tail on the Catherine" and throwing darts at King Charles’s face. I’m kidding, they’re far too mature for that. In Britain, we saw a family in unity. Even Prince Andrew attended the Christmas Day church service at St. Mary Magdalene and, somehow, was received well by crowds.

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Princess Beatrice… the betrayer?

Their ranks may be dwindling, but Mr. and Mrs. Meghan Markle do have a few key supporters left on the other side of the Pond. What their fabulously rehearsed "fly-on-the-wall" documentary set in stone is who was gone for good: Wills and Kate. The poor Waleses were absolutely slandered. In fact, the only realistic thing about the whole show was the visceral hatred the Sussexes had for the pair. Harry despises his big brother almost as much as Jeremy Clarkson hates Meghan, and would certainly see him strung up in the streets, but of course, you can’t print that in Britain. Team Windsor may be pretty strong in numbers, but the "we-just-want-to-be-normal-but-don’t-you-dare-forget-the-title" team do have two major players: the Princesses of York.

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Ever wanted to buy Kyrsten Sinema’s old shoes?

Shopping Kyrsten Sinema style Kyrsten Sinema has been honing her independent streak during her time in Washington — a noted departure from the progressive activism of her youth. The Arizona senator who left the Democrats last week has filed paperwork to run as an Independent in 2024, a reflection of her state’s purple values. At the same time, Sinema seems to have developed quite an entrepreneurial side hustle. Slate’s Christina Cauterucci discovered that Congress’s most ostentatious dresser has been hawking old clothes on Facebook Marketplace. The user is currently hawking — among other things — a $215 cycling ensemble, a $25 trucker hat, and a $150 stainless steel watch with a silicone strap.

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Harry and Meghan’s great miscalculation

Ladies and gentlemen, that’s a wrap. The last leg of Meghan and Harry’s docuseries aired Thursday, where we learned about institutionalized gaslighting, how terrified Harry is of big, bad Prince William and what Beyoncé thinks about the whole saga, obviously. The final three episodes, admittedly, were the bombshell some hoped for. Harry and Meghan’s usual approach of accusing nameless figures of terrible acts went out the window. Prince William was the villain, King Charles didn’t come off much better. Hell, they even threw in some sly digs at the late Queen. For many Brits, this is a cardinal sin. Apparently, we're done. All over. H tells us that finally: it’s time to move on.

Harry and Meghan’s expert: ‘never sell out’

Afua Hirsch sells out Cockburn is reeling today after a heavy night, but it was the only thing he could do to make him forget the three hours of Whinge and Ginge that he had to watch at 3 a.m. The Harry & Meghan Netflix documentary wasn’t exactly enlightening: just a rehash of their previous groans of injustice. Although Meghan did go out of her way this time to make fun of Haz’s dear old granny, by doing an overexaggerated curtsy which made even her hapless husband look uncomfortable. https://twitter.com/chrisshipitv/status/1600845696751800321 There were new faces in the mix though, rather than the classic hagiographers. One of the journalists commentating was British journalist Afua Hirsch. Cockburn asked around... and it turns out that Hirsch isn’t exactly, er, well-liked.

afua hirsch

Meghan and Harry are exhausting the public patience

Tolerance for Meghan and Harry is wearing thin across the Pond. That’s saying something, because there was little tolerance to begin with. But after the latest trailer of their Netflix documentary was released online, even the staunchest Sussex fans are feeling fed up. However you feel about the pair, their latest theatrics have opened them up for criticism. The trailer, which has been drip-fed over the last week is, in true Sussex style, chock full of inaccuracies that they must deem the British public too stupid to notice. https://twitter.

prince harry patience meghan markle california

Which far-right pundit is a ‘twink Ernst Röhm?’

Yeezy come, Yeezy go Kanye West has been permanently suspended from Twitter just one month after his account being locked. Elon Musk tweeted that Ye had “violated our rule against incitement to violence", after he posted a series of erratic tweets — including a symbol combining a swastika and a Jewish star. Now a London tattoo parlor is offering free removals for anyone with a Yeezy tattoo. They’ve nicknamed the campaign “Yeezy come, Yeezy go.” https://twitter.com/mattxiv/status/1598509785225347074?s=46&t=jeqhEGKEQaVSEdSE9A5F4Q Blind item: which far-right pundit is a ‘twink Ernst Röhm?’ Which virulently anti-homosexual far-right figure, who's recently been making headlines, doth protest too much?

Ernst Röhm

Thank God: Netflix releases Harry and Meghan doc trailer

Sorry for the delay: Cockburn has been busy bleaching his eyes after watching the trailer for Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s newest venture, a Netflix documentary on "their story." https://twitter.com/netflix/status/1598287753774477312 People magazine claimed, “It's Meghan Markle and Prince Harry like you've never seen them before,” which makes Cockburn question if the publication has had its eyes and ears shut for the last two years. The documentary series, which is composed of six episodes and will premiere in December, includes personal footage of the pair at their wedding reception, on a trip to Africa and while Meghan is pregnant. But what’s a Meghan and Harry venture without the doom? The trailer also includes footage of Meghan wiping away tears. Perfect timing!

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Meghan Markle: America’s laziest interviewer

Remember Oprah Winfrey's bombshell "interview" with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry earlier this year, in which she stroked her subjects’ egos and failed to probe them on any of their hyperbolic claims? Well, Cockburn has found an even worse interviewer than Oprah: Meghan Markle. Listening to Archetypes, Meghan’s podcast about "dissecting labels," Cockburn found it a little weird that the guests never spoke over each other. You’d think that as the interviewees they’d try and get a word in edgeways through Meghan’s babbling. After labeling the show a "candid conversation" it seems the conversation is actually happening without Meghan. One of the podcast guests has revealed that she didn't actually speak to Meghan for the show in an Instagram post.

meghan markle podcast racism