House of commons

This article was first published in The Spectator on 9 October, 1959. I am a totally non-political animal. I prefer the name of the Liberal Party to the name of any other and I vote Conservative rather than Labour, mainly because the Conservatives have bigger bottoms and I believe that big bottoms make for better government than scrawny ones. I only once attended a debate in the House of Commons. It was, I think, towards the end of 1938 when we were unattractively trying to cajole Mussolini away from Hitler. I found the hollowness and futility of the speeches degrading and infantile and the well-fed, deep-throated ‘hear, hears’ for each mendacious platitude verging on the obscene.

William Hague has given today's vote that will set up a secret ballot on the re-election of the Speaker as a 'leaving present' to Tory MPs. But not all of them are happy with the way this vote is being carried out. Here is an email from Julian Lewis, passed to Coffee House, about what he calls an 'Unworthy Manoeuvre'. Other MPs are pleased that this could lead to a new speaker in the new Parliament, talking already about 'Speaker Hoyle'. From: "LEWIS, Julian" Date: 26 March 2015 00:09:46 GMT Subject: An Unworthy Manoeuvre by the Leader of the House Dear Colleague, At the start of this Parliament, the Procedure Committee undertook an investigation into elections for positions in the House.

PMQs at midday today essentially marks the end of this Parliament. Although Parliament won't formally dissolve until Monday, very little of consequence will happen in the next few days.The main topics for debate at today's PMQs not hard to predict: the PM's gaffe about not serving a third term, the booming economy under this government, the NHS and, if we are lucky, 'two kitchens' all are going to come up. For the first time in recent weeks, Miliband has the opportunity to put Cameron on the back foot. As one Labour insider told me yesterday, the talk of a Tory leadership contest has presented Labour with the opportunity to show that the Prime Minister is 'seriously frit'.

Things became heated in the commons today after Barry Sheerman told Esther McVey to stop being a 'hard-hearted Hannah' during a Department for Work and Pensions questions. The incident occurred after Sheerman voiced his concerns over the department's handling of the government's welfare reforms. McVey has taken none too kindly to the term, which is a reference to an Ella Fitzgerald song. The Conservative MP says that it is 'not the first time that the opposition benches have been like this to me'. Sheerman meanwhile insists his innocence, claiming it was not a sexist comment.

Reports have emerged of a new row that has engulfed parliament: where and where not to vape? After complaints of people using e-cigarettes near the chamber, the House of Commons authorities are mulling over how to treat the craze. Some MPs are pushing for a revival of the traditional Smoking Room so they can puff away on their new-fangled devices in a convivial setting. Alas Mr Steerpike hears that they are likely to be disappointed, as officials have proposed banning e-cigarettes in 'enclosed areas'. Furthermore, with so many policies in this place, the idea looks like having an unexpected and expensive side effect for the taxpayer.

Michael Cockerell's new documentary series inside the House of Commons saw the reporter gain unprecedented access to parliament. However, while many MPs were keen to be involved, a group of Tory MPs plotted to knock over a BBC cameraman in order to stop them filming. The astonishing claim was made by Cockerell at a press screening today of Inside the Commons ahead of its release next Tuesday. 'There was a plan by some backbenchers to knock our cameraman over so that proceedings would be suspended and we would be blamed for it,' he revealed. 'But it was thwarted by the man in charge of security. The doorkeepers are the eyes and ears and the internal security system.' The backbenchers in question were Conservative. 'It was a Tory group.

On Wednesday the Home Secretary made a statement in the House of Commons about the terrorist attacks last week in Paris. Here is part of the Hansard transcript of the resulting debate: Mr Henry Bellingham (North West Norfolk) (Con): Is the Home Secretary aware that when the Prophet Mohammed moved from Mecca to Medina all those years ago to establish the first Islamic state, he did not set up a sectarian caliphate, such as that demanded by the Paris murderers, but rather, under the charter of Medina, he created a multi-faith society, where Jews and Christians had the right to worship and were able to proclaim their faiths? Mrs May: I am grateful to my hon. Friend for elucidating that fact for the House.

John Bercow has lost his biggest attempt at a power grab after MPs recommended that the appointment process for the Commons clerk be terminated. The governance committee set up after the row over the Speaker's desire to appoint Carol Mills became too big to handle has called for a new director general job to be created and that and the Clerk job should be readvertised. Now Mills can notionally re-apply for the job but would struggle to meet the new criteria set out by the committee. It says the Clerk is 'adviser to the House of Commons on the procedure and practice of Parliament, including parliamentary privilege'. The row about Mills being considered for the role was sparked by her lack of experience in this area.

There is no love lost between UKIP defectors Douglas Carswell and Mark Reckless and their old Tory colleagues. Catty Conservative MPs have for some reason nicknamed the Ukip twosome 'Popeye and Olive Oyl'. Mr S will let you decide which is which.

Tory MP Penny Mourdant has caused a stir in Sunday's papers over her confession at our Parliamentarian of the Year awards that she said 'cock' in Parliament as a bet with her colleagues in the Royal Navy, where she serves as a reservist. As winner of our Speech of the Year award, Mourdant clearly has a way with words. Here are her top five gags (so far): 1. Caring for your kit in the field One of the highlights of her award-winning Loyal Speech earlier this year was a gag about her Royal Navy training: 'I have benefited from some excellent training by the Royal Navy but on one occasion I felt it was not as bespoke as it might have been.

The government is in a total mess this afternoon. The whole house of Commons has turned on Theresa May and Chris Grayling for the way they have handled the vote on the European arrest warrant. MP after MP is calling, via points of order, for the motion to be withdrawn. The whips are in frantic conversation. Update, 17.26  May is now speaking and she appears to be sticking to her line. I hear that whips are trying to get all of the payroll vote ready to support the business motion that the house will vote on, as there are fears that the government will lose it.

Today in Parliament, MPs are voting on a backbench motion (supported by a one-line whip from the Labour party) proposing that Britain recognises Palestine as a state. The motion attempts push a new status quo on Israel-Palestine, without the agreement of the partners on the ground. This is not just an arrogant move, it is a pointless one - not least because the Cameron government has already said it will ignore the vote.  What is of concern, however, is that the whole move displays a startling degree of naivety in Westminster. At the same time as the West has declared war on Isis, it is odd for British MPs to be publicising their intention to support the exponents of another caliphate - one centred on the Palestinian territories.