Conspiracy theories

Cockburn may be a devoted Valentine’s Day cynic, but he’s still all in for celebrity romance. He’s happy to hear that love is in the air between Huma Abedin, the former Hillary Clinton aide, and Alex Soros, son of George Soros and successor to his father’s Open Society Foundation. Conspiracy theorists worldwide will doubtless be sending their well wishes. On Wednesday, Abedin and Soros posted pictures cuddled up on a Parisian Valentine's date. The two sat at a restaurant table covered with gifts and roses. And more than seven years since her divorce from the disgraced Anthony Weiner and a scandal ridden marriage, Abedin deserves a romantic getaway.   Abedin, nearly ten years' Soros’s elder, could not have hitched up with a more eligible operative.

I have important news for everyone: there is not going to be a second American Civil War. That may be hard for some people to grasp, as they seem almost fully committed to the idea that Civil War 2 is a pre-produced done deal just waiting for a wide release. But, as honorary American Gordon Ramsay might say, let me make one thing clear, young lady. The Second Civil War is a fear-based fantasy, mostly based on media-bubble abstractions. And our fantasy-making apparatus is in the midst of exploiting that fear. Exhibit one is Alex Garland’s upcoming A24 movie, subtly titled Civil War, starring Kirsten Dunst as a blue state-looking photojournalist who is chronicling the drama as President Ron Swanson sends fighter jets to attack what used to be his citizens. https://twitter.

It’s fun to conspire about the mysterious death of Jeffrey Epstein — or, at least, Cockburn has whiled away several hours doing so. Was it ordered by the Queen? Bill Gates? The Clintons? Did Ghislaine Maxwell stick a pin straight through the heart of an Epstein-shaped voodoo doll? It’s almost a shame that we now know the fault lies with something as mundane as negligent prison guards.  The Justice Department’s watchdog announced Tuesday that a “combination of negligence, misconduct and outright job performance failures” by the Federal Bureau of Prisons and workers at its New York City jail allowed for the disgraced financier to take his own life in August 2019, finding no evidence of foul play.

"There’s a storm coming,” popular historian turned esoteric political commentator Neil Oliver posted on Twitter in May, “Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But there’s a storm coming.” As Mr. Oliver is a Scotsman who calls himself “the Coast Guy,” some of his followers might have thought he was referring to the weather. Others more acquainted with the tropes of modern conspiratorial thought, though, will see the reference to a “storm” as a reference to a time of social and political crisis. It comes — whether Mr. Oliver knows it or not — from the fevered discourse of QAnon. QAnon! The term almost makes you feel nostalgic.

With the Energy Department joining the lab-leak party, will the apologies ever roll in to those so thoroughly excoriated for questioning the animal-human theory of Covid's origins? Cockburn has done a little digging and would like you to join him on a trip down memory lane, to revisit the litany of enlightened elites who proclaimed the lab-leak theory a conspiracy. From scientists to media talking heads, the condemnation of the lab-leak hypothesis was pretty universal in the early months of the pandemic, even going so far as to proclaim it racist.

Always give it three days. This is a golden rule of journalism that requires reporters and commentators to wait when speculating on big salacious stories. It's a rule that works, but not when it's ignored, as it has been by both sides of the political spectrum in the case of the attack on Paul Pelosi, the husband of the Speaker of the House. Democrats pounced, as usual, on their claims of MAGA extremism; meanwhile, too many on the right have indulged in disgusting conspiracy theories about the assault. On Sunday morning, less than two days after the news of the assault broke, the new Twitter head honcho Elon Musk weighed in. Responding to a tweet by Hillary Clinton alleging a political motive, Musk tweeted that there was a tiny chance that something else had prompted the violence.

Alex Jones’s defamation trial exploded in spectacular fashion a week ago today, following the revelation that the Infowars founder’s lawyer had sent the full contents of Jones’s phone to the attorney representing the Sandy Hook parents suing him. Footage of Jones learning this while on the witness stand sallied forth across Twitter in a flurry of blue-check hysteria. NBC disinformation reporter Ben Collins tweeted: “Wow. Sandy Hook parents' lawyer is revealing that Alex Jones' lawyers sent him the contents of Jones' phone BY MISTAKE. “'12 days ago, your attorneys messed up and sent me a digital copy of every text’ Jones has sent for years. “’You know what perjury is?’ the lawyer asks.” https://twitter.