Cockburn

An idiot’s guide to posting about Trump’s indictment

Who to copy: #Resistance TikTok, Matt Walsh or Ivanka? Donald Trump has been indicted — and you have to post an opinion about it. Cockburn is sorry, he doesn't make the rules. Need inspiration? Well, if you're too online, in late middle-age and elated about the possibility of Drumpf in the slammer, why not crib from TikTokker @wepickld and shoot a video of you cracking open your "porn star hush money" bottle of Champagne? https://twitter.com/NormOrnstein/status/1641623539764674560 On the other hand, if you're outraged at the maligning of President Trump at the hands of Soros-funded DA Alvin Bragg, you can do as the Daily Wire's Matt Walsh did, borrow from the Northern Irish Unionists and cry "NO SURRENDER." https://twitter.

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Former Spectator deputy editor turns government censor

Biden’s pornbrained FCC nominee One of President Joe Biden’s most embattled nominees for the powerful Federal Communications Commission was a staunch supporter of Ugly George, New York City’s “Cult Porno King,” and his right to showcase naked women on cable channels he leased, Cockburn has learned. Gigi Sohn is a lawyer by trade — and her past legal activism suggests that she’ll take a lax approach towards the never-ending influx of sexually explicit content on TV. Back in 1995, the Associated Press reported that Sohn “lamented” a court decision that upheld a law designed to limit people like Ugly George’s ability to air sexually explicit content during daytime hours.

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Washington Post’s Felicia Sonmez now works in retail

The Washington Post’s revolving door People are losing their jobs in all sorts of industries — but chances are the layoffs you’ve heard about most in recent weeks are in finance, tech or the media. Squeakiest wheel and all that. This week brought news that the Washington Post was cutting twenty newsroom jobs and shuttering its gaming vertical. Also out at the Post: Margaret Sullivan, who has left to sign as a columnist for the Guardian. It's not all departures at One Franklin Square though: executive editor Sally Buzbee has signed up a slew of names for the Opinion desk, including conservatives Jim Geraghty and Ramesh Ponnuru from National Review and disaffected liberal Ruy Teixeira.

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Nick Adams doesn’t write his own tweets

Nick Adams doesn’t write his own tweets Heartbreaking news from the social media world: a spy tells Cockburn that Nick Adams, the Trump surrogate, author and self-proclaimed “Alpha Male,” hires a communications firm to write most of his tweets. He may not, therefore, be the author behind classics such as "Joe Biden has never been to a Hooters." Adams's entire “Alpha Male” persona is a highly effective troll job that has led his account to reach massive engagement levels. Adams recently made headlines for getting into a Twitter war with former professional golfer Paige Spiranac after he said slow female golfers should only be allowed to play par-three courses. Cockburn wonders what "alpha male" would intentionally alienate Spirinac and what she calls her “fantastic milkers.

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The top 10 Cockburns of 2022

2022 was another landmark year for DC’s most disheveled correspondent. He was outside the courthouse when Johnny Depp won his defamation suit, and outside the Supreme Court when Roe fell. He observed mourners for Queen Elizabeth in London, went to Congress with an NBA star, lifted the lid on the "toxic" work culture at the startup where Prince Harry "works," listened to too many episodes of his wife's podcast and debunked a flimsy hoax about Lauren Boebert. He quaffed his way through several Christmas parties, think-tank mixers, campaign fundraisers and conferences with national conservatives, Texas conservatives, libertarians and sexual deviants.

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Invite Cockburn to your Christmas party

The last of Mrs. Cockburn’s turkey was scraped into the trash can late on Monday night. As she trudged up the stoop of her Dupont Circle manse, she caught a glimpse of her bedraggled husband through the window. Dimly lit by the glow of their hearth, Cockburn was slumped in his armchair, eyes twitching with discomfort. Both sleeves of his Charles Tyrwhitt shirt were rolled up; an IV drip was affixed to each forearm. The crumpled correspondent shifted in his corduroys as the clear fluids trickled in. Mrs. Cockburn shook her head as she entered the house and headed straight upstairs. “The Ritual” had begun early this year. Cockburn usually wouldn’t kick off his fierce pre-party season hydration regimen until Advent at least.

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‘Villain’ Elon Musk votes Republican for first time ever

They say you never forget your first. Your first Republican, that is. For Elon Musk, that is Mayra Flores, the Trump-endorsed candidate who flipped the Congressional seat in Texas’ 34th District from blue to red with a vote from the world's richest man (as well as from thousands of other Texans). Cockburn discovered the news while perusing Twitter this morning (at 3:28 a.m.) to see how the political discourse was doing (not well, as expected). His mood, however, lightened when he stumbled upon this  tweet from Elon Musk: I voted for Mayra Flores – first time I ever voted Republican. Massive red wave in 2022. — Elon Musk (@elonmusk) June 15, 2022 Musk has been increasingly on Cockburn’s radar, especially since he vowed to make Twitter "fun.

Communism dies at Current Affairs

Cockburn understands the appeal of communism. There are times when even he has dreamt of holding property in common — that ill-fated purchase of a timeshare in Cancun, for instance. So he understands the plight of the young idealists at Current Affairs, a magazine founded in 2016 with the mission to ‘help usher in a glorious era of democratic socialism’. Like the Soviet Union under Stalin, Current Affairs is the private kingdom of one man, in this case the dandy communist Nathan Robinson. For five years, Robinson has been all over Current Affairs like a cheap suit, while a small team of deluded volunteers has labored in his salt mine, generating content for the greater glory of the revolution, and their leader, the Potemkin page-turner. But even five-year plans go awry.

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