Cowboys & Indians

After 1789, conservatism was the party of insecurity, pessimism and fear, liberalism the party of confidence, optimism and eager anticipation, down to the early years of the twenty-first century when the mood of hubristic triumph that followed the collapse of the Soviet Union deflated almost overnight, in the United States especially, where liberal democrats have come to resemble the “normal American of the pure-blooded type” whom Mencken described as going “to rest every night with an uneasy feeling that there is a burglar under the bed, and... [getting] up with a sickening fear that his underwear has been stolen.

My London agent calls to break the news gently. “Your book is dead. I can’t sell it. Sorry. But you do have the most fabulous collection of rejections from publishers I’ve ever read.” “Really? Can you get me a book deal for a book of my book rejections? Failure is a hot topic now.” “You’re funny...” “Thanks.” “...but not commercial. Still, there is some good news.” “Really?” “I’ve sold your ex-wife’s new book for a huge advance!” My ex-wife and I have the same agent so I’m well practiced in the art of the fake congratulation. It’s what we men do, our equivalent of the fake orgasm. “That’s such wonderful news!” Two weeks later, more failure.