President Trump sent off another flurry of Truth Social posts this morning, featuring Iranian fighter jets being zapped by lasers, mock-ups of a new Trump $100 bill and a morbidly obese Governor J.B. Pritzker of Illinois, chowing down.
The AI-generated picture shows Pritzker sitting down to a vast buffet of nachos, fried chicken, pizza, hamburgers, a chocolate milkshake and – somewhat incongruously – spaghetti and meatballs. “J.B. is too busy to keep Chicago safe!” reads the caption.
Cockburn notes how AI is changing Trump’s comedic style, which increasingly leans towards the pictorial rather than text. Unlike previous adversaries, the President has yet to give Pritzker a nickname à la “Sloppy” Steve Bannon or “Cryin’” Chuck Schumer.
These nicknames were some of the finest examples of political rhetoric in living memory – but these days it’s much easier for the President to let an aide fire up Grok for a picture of a foe pigging out or wearing a sombrero
The images are funny in their own way but, as with so much of what AI creates, something is certainly lost along the way…
On our radar
MONEY WELL SPENT? The Iran war has cost $29 billion to date, acting Pentagon comptroller Jules W. Hurst III told the House Appropriations Committee this morning.
KASH BACK FBI Director Kash Patel faces the Senate Judiciary Committee this afternoon, alongside the heads of the ATF, DEA and US Marshals Service.
BLOWING UP Inflation hit 3.8 percent in April according to the Consumer Price Index – its highest rate in three years.
Kari Lake, island gyal
The Trump administration has nominated Kari Lake, a Trump ally and former evening news anchor on Fox 10 in Phoenix, Arizona, as US Ambassador to Jamaica.
In 2024, Trump appointed Lake to lead the US Agency for Global Media after she ran unsuccessfully as governor of Arizona. Under an executive order, she fired hundreds of Voice of America employees, aiming to effectively shutter VOA, which was funded by Congress to bring unbiased news to foreign audiences without government influence. After staffers challenged these actions in court, a federal judge ruled that she had been serving as head of USAGM unlawfully, since her appointment had not been confirmed by the Senate. The VOA firings, among other decisions made while Lake was in office, were voided.
This is yet another example of the Trump administration sending embarrassing friends to take up positions in warmer climates – much like King Edward VIII being appointed governor of the Bahamas after abdicating the throne to marry an American divorcée. Edward was deemed too problematic for the British royal family and just alright for a lifelong island vacation. Sending Lake to sip rum punch and dagger to dancehall is likely to distract her from the prospect of losing another crucial swing-state election for the Republicans. In the same breath, Trump appointed defeated Pennsylvania gubernatorial candidate Doug Mastriano as Ambassador to Slovakia. Neat.
The US Embassy in Kingston looks… nice? Cockburn checked it out on Google Maps. Exile could be worse. “Jamaica is a country I know very well, full of incredible people, and if confirmed by the Senate, I look forward to strengthening the partnership between our nations, advancing America’s interests abroad, and building on the deep friendship shared by the American and Jamaican people,” Lake posted on social media, describing this administration as “HISTORIC.” It sure is. Pon de floor!
Cop out
Donald Trump loves a spectacle. Last night he demonstrated his flair for the dramatic – by encouraging a group of visiting police officers to tell him who they preferred as his successor: J.D. Vance or Marco Rubio. “Who’s it gonna be, is it gonna be J.D., is it gonna be somebody else… I don’t know,” Trump said.
“OK let’s go: who likes… J.D. Vance?” the President asked. Most police officers clapped. “Who likes… Marco Rubio?” A slightly smaller number applaud. “Alright,” says Trump, “sounds like a good ticket.”
Sadly Trump left the popularity contest there. He could have got his VP and Secretary of State to grapple for the honor, in a preview of next month’s South Lawn UFC fight. Or he could have previewed the week’s China trip by having the pair face off in Mahjong or Go.
Vance and Rubio are doubtless the two favorites to be 2028 nominee from the cabinet – though the field could widen if Trump heeds calls from the GOP donor class to elevate departing Governor Ron DeSantis or former governor Glenn Youngkin to one of his many vacant positions…
Comments