In times past, any self-respecting man of a certain class would have been dripping in jewellery. Henry VIII is said to have owned no fewer than 700 rings – almost as many rings as wives. Ruby rings, gold necklaces, diamond earrings, you name it: jewellery was not just reserved for noblewomen and Queens of England, it was fair play in Tudor England for both sexes.
Fast forward to the 21st century and, as a rule, you won’t find the English upper-class males sporting emerald knuckle dusters. But that’s not to say their jewels are lying rusty in a stately home attic. Take a look at any recent red carpet and you’ll see ‘bling’ is finding a new audience among modern alpha males. It’s not just Paul Mescal’s chain, Jacob Elordi’s gold tooth or Daniel Craig’s T-bar necklace – a recent YouGov survey found that almost one in five men had bought jewellery for themselves in the past year. So, if your family fortunes mean you can bedeck yourself in diamonds instead of rhinestones, what are the dos and don’ts for the aristocratic gemmaphile?
Most obviously, if an English gent has a coat of arms, he will usually wear a gold signet ring on his little finger. He might wear a watch but it had better be a good one – think the chunky steel Audemars Piguet Royal Oak (we can let him get away with a Swatch or a Casio G-Shock if he can’t stretch that far).
The watch has to be fairly plain and a bit weathered. Not too much gold and definitely no diamonds – leave those for the grand dames of Mayfair and the school-run mothers in Hampshire who forgot to take theirs off after the 50th ‘star-studded’ birthday party they went to on Saturday night. An Indian maharaj or David Beckham can get away with diamond stud earrings. Otherwise, don’t even consider it unless you’ve been assured you’re devastatingly good-looking with symmetrical features. Medallions belong only on the hairy chests of Costa del Sol lotharios who make a show of telling every woman they’ve never met someone so beautiful in their life. As for bangles on men – no thanks. We don’t care how much they cost and please don’t tell us either.
If you really want to know, a wedding ring on a man is non-U. Please don’t try to defend it on the grounds that it’s a good ‘deterrent’ in bars (the advice remains to stay away from bars). Prince William doesn’t wear a wedding ring, nor did his grandfather the late Duke of Edinburgh. He says it’s because he doesn’t like wearing jewellery but we all know the real reason: wedding rings for men are just a bit naff. Just a little bit cheap. A man should only wear one if truly bullied into it, which, of course will not be seen as a good start to married life by his stiff upper-lip parents. Eyebrows would be raised as they would if a wedding list including a Magimix food processor was mooted.
As a rule, you won’t find today’s English upper-class males sporting emerald knuckle dusters
While we’re at it, under no circumstances must a man ever wear a pair of flip flops on the beach, in the garden or for that matter anywhere. One male acquaintance of mine once made the mistake of discarding his Tod’s loafers on a windy beach in Spain while he went off to purchase a pair of sandals. It served him right when one of the locals with a good eye spotted a pair of expensive suede shoes and nabbed them. He was left with the appalling footwear for the rest of the holiday which was poetic justice for suffering such an appalling lapse in taste. The combination of the sun and wind was blamed.
Back to jewellery though and, at least, for women the wedding ring and engagement ring are bejewelled and well – and the more flamboyant the better. The diamond wedding ring, once protruding, is now flat so it won’t catch on the Marigolds when doing the washing up. These days it looks less like something you’d find in a Christmas cracker or pay for in instalments on the High Street – and thank goodness. If it’s in the Art Deco style even better, you’re in good hands.
On that note, then, men, go forth to Tiffany’s and prosper. Then again if you spot an old curmudgeonly fellow near the House of Lords without flip flops, bangles, diamonds, wedding rings and only a signet ring on his finger, that may not mark out his class. Maybe he just doesn’t like jewels – and who can blame him for that?
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