Q. I went to stay in the new house of a close, but not very close, friend. She put me in a charming room, but it was above a really noisy boiler that kept randomly firing up throughout the night. In the morning, when the husband asked me in front of the breakfast table if I had slept well, I told him about the boiler. I could tell from everyone’s faces that he and the other guests thought I had been rude to mention it. But if I had not said something, the next guest put in that room would be up all night just like me. What else could I have done, Mary?
– Name and address withheld
A. You could have used the following method. Asked if you slept well, you could have gushed: ‘Like a top. Such a comfortable room!’ Secretly, however, once the racket started, you would have downloaded a snore-monitoring app on your phone to record the noise. Later in the day you could have taken your host to one side, laughing as you played the noises, and said: ‘It’s so weird. I slept so well but what could these noises be? They are not snoring!’ As you puzzled over it together, the host would have concluded that the boiler was to blame. In this way, you could have preserved harmony while still delivering the necessary message.
Q. While at the dentist the other day, he removed a large gold filling. It never occurred to me to ask him to give me the filling back, but now upon hearing how the price of gold has soared, I wonder if the dentist is profiting where I could have been?
– R.H., Ludlow
A. Dental protocol decrees that if the patient asks for the gold filling, they will be given it. If not, it will be sold to a worker who tours dental premises and buys the ‘hoards’ of collected fillings. It is too late now, but had you kept it you could have ordered a ‘seller’s pack’ from a site such as Cash4gold and sent the filling there, keeping proof of postage. The site will tell you the worth of the nugget and you can either sell it or ask for it back. Of course, gold fillings are not pure gold but the value is judged on the degree of purity. A crown could weigh as much as 5g, a filling between 1-3g. Each gram is worth between £120 and £240.
Q. I still have a load of cavolo nero in my garden but find eating the big leaves awkward in company. What can I do?
– D.N., Oswestry
A. This leafy vegetable, also known as Tuscan kale, is full of nutrition. It is a wonderful companion to most dishes. To minimise the slobbish potential while eating it, take a tip from fashionable cook Amber Guinness, who suggests whizzing it up with pecorino and walnuts to make it into a first-rate pesto.
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk
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