Q. Every so often we’re invited to our friends’ house for lunch or dinner. It’s close by and the house is beautiful, warm and comfortable. But whatever time we’re asked to arrive for dinner or lunch, we don’t sit down to eat until at least two hours later. The back door of the house enters on to the kitchen and without fail a raw chicken or unpeeled potatoes will be sitting there when we arrive. How our friends came to believe that this much time spent with each other before the meal was a good idea is a mystery. Mary, how can I let them know it’s entirely unacceptable without hurting their feelings?
– M.G., Connecticut, USA
A. Next time they invite you, gush that you are longing to see them but, as you have begun intermittent fasting and need to have eaten your last mouthful by, say, 9 p.m., why don’t they come to you? They will almost certainly agree to adapt and to sit down earlier if you come to them. Either way, once gathered around the table, the topic of ‘early’ eating can be raised and you can marvel as to how we all got into the habit of eating so late. Say you have been astonished to find that early eating has now become ultra fashionable – whether or not the participants are following intermittent fasting. Have they noticed that themselves?
Q. My neighbour brought her young dog to play with mine in my enclosed garden, which is not that large. At one point her dog excreted. My neighbour said it was OK as it was on a flowerbed. I was too feeble to protest but had to remove the huge liquid mess after she left. The odd thing is that in every other situation she is extremely well-mannered. What is going on?
– E.S., Sussex
A. Ignorance will have propelled your neighbour’s comment. You might have put her at her ease while you re-educated her by blaming yourself: ‘Oh dear, it’s all my fault. I’ve been told off recently for letting another dog make a mess there. Apparently it’s really toxic to the soil and the high nitrogen levels can burn plants. I’ll get a shovel and we can get rid of it ASAP.’
Q. May I pass on a tip to readers? I am the only female in an all-male household. The menfolk always resisted when I used to try to get them to wash their hands before sitting down to eat (often they are fresh off the Tube). A kind girlfriend gave me a hot towel steamer (as used in restaurants) and I now have no trouble as they all love the sensuality of the hot towels.
– J.F., London SW4
A. Thank you. I was gratified to see that towel steamers only cost around £35.
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk.
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