You meet Washington at a very Chinese time in its life – the capital is preparing for the state visit of Xi Jinping, as the Chinese president blows off the UN General Assembly and heads for talks with President Trump next week instead.
His visit will include a state dinner, where invitees include a number of business leaders who operate in China. Cockburn understands that Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, and Jensen Huang, CEO of Nvidia are on the guestlist.
Presumably Altman will be trying to bend Xi’s ear on that AI slowdown to which he’s ever so committed. Huang, meanwhile, took a call from Trump onstage at a conference this week, where the President called AI concerns a “hoax” and Huang pledged, “We’re going to make sure that everybody wins in the AI race in America.” Cockburn wonders which of his sugar daddies he’ll be sat nearer.
Mr. Paul goes to Washington
Spotted in the Capitol getting a tour this morning: YouTuber and boxer Jake Paul. Paul also visited the Pentagon with his brother Logan yesterday. Sadly there aren’t any House members around for them to spar with.
On our radar
HIGH T The Pentagon has clarified that it will only be screening male servicemembers over 30 for their testosterone levels. Spokesman Sean Parnell said the Department of War was focusing on “the health of its warfighters” through “proactively identifying and treating suboptimal hormone levels.”
PATCHING LEAKS In response to a Marc Thiessen column about Iran leaks, President Trump wrote, “Keep on leaking you dirty dogs! When we find you, you will pay a big price!!”
EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY Trump is subject to a complaint by the Campaign Legal Center for his claim that MAGA Inc., the $400 million super-PAC run by his advisors, is “my money that I control.”
The real Navy Yard
Cockburn is changing his tune on disgraced DC councilman Trayon White. He was expelled from the council after being the subject of an FBI bribery probe – then reelected last year. Covertly shot footage of White was released this week – in which he opines about Navy Yard, DC’s most aura-less neighborhood, where he was renting a luxury apartment.
You might think Navy Yard is a good place to watch a mediocre baseball game, or have a disappointing Hinge date with a vacuous consultant. But to White, Navy Yard is “sin city,” full of “freaks, broads, money, girls.”
“It’s all single women and dogs,” White tells the FBI by accident. The councilman mentions the temptation of “60 girls on the roof on their laptops working” and how there are parties with “free food, drinks, all day.”
“I don’t want to be distracted because I might not go to work,” White says.
Cockburn has been on the roof of White’s building, and is amazed he failed to mention the pool and the hot tub. Your correspondent is enthralled by White’s fanciful, optimistic vision of the district. Forget federal prison: this guy should be mayor.
Pints pints pints
It has been so long since Cockburn has found himself in the Old Country, in a proper British boozer. Props, therefore, must go to the brains behind the Two Georges, a pub that opened last night on the grounds of the British Embassy.
The limeys have repurposed their old passport office as a guestlist-only bar that can be accessed from Observatory Circle. Features include cask ale made by a local brewery ($6 a pint!), a pool table and a family room. Both bathrooms are themed: the “W-Sea” is adorned with fishing nets and plays seagull cries when you turn the light on, while the “disco bathroom” offers flashing lights and music.
“Drinking and diplomacy kind of go hand in hand,” Sir Christian Turner told the room. The British ambassador was in formal dress as he had hosted an investiture ceremony just before. Turner mentioned the important role of the pub in British society as a place where “we can all come over and be on equal terms” – and was eager to stress that “not a single penny of taxpayers’ money has been spent on this.”
Cockburn christened the pool table (British rules, he won) and sampled a few cask ales. Having not been in a UK drinking establishment for over a year, your correspondent can report that the Brits have managed to tap into the energy of a real pub with the Two Georges. He will be putting his name down for the guestlist.
Spotted: Natalie Allison, Katy Balls, Sam Clark, Congressman Jim Himes, Danny Kemp, Ron Kind, Dr. Oz, Sarakshi Rai and Bernd Debusmann, Dan Rivers, Ed Roman, David Smith, Bev Turner and James Pritchett, Sir Christian and Lady Turner and Mungo Woodifield.
Must watch
Two things Cockburn cannot stop watching this week: the pseudo-anti-Semitic AI Resilia ad – who knew weight loss could be so catchy? – and the protracted debate in the New Zealand Parliament about which members are allowed to use the “C”-word and in what context. “I find thet offinsive.” Congress could never.
Kicking and streaming
Abdul El-Sayed’s campaign in Michigan could decide control of the Senate, and his affiliation with Twitch streamer Hasan Piker could be a major problem for him, but Piker doesn’t seem to care very much.
Hasan told the New York Times that “mainstream outlets focus far too much on me as a way to attack” candidates such as El-Sayed. A day earlier, Piker had said that “pound for pound” America had done more terrorism than al-Qaeda in an Axios interview. That’s not something you say around the 25th anniversary of 9/11 if you want your friend to win a Senate race in a swing state.
“I do not agree with this statement, nor do I give much weight to the statements made by a social media streamer,” was El-Sayed’s response. “Social media streamer” is clever – it mimics the awkward, vague language of boomers describing new things.
But the internet should not be dismissed as an unserious or insignificant place. Politicians increasingly act like “social media streamers” – El-Sayed ran a political ad in the style of Love Island USA, a reality dating show, two weeks ago. Streamers like Hasan are modern-day political televangelists. Why shouldn’t we take the most successful ones seriously?
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