When I recently mentioned to a friend that I clean my fridge every week, she said I was a bit weird. I get what she means. Most fridges get cleaned less frequently or when something spills down from the shelf above. But I do like to keep on top of my sell-by dates. I live with someone less vigilant about such matters, who would not necessarily turn her nose up at something a day or so out of date. As a rule, we rub along very nicely, with me going through the fridge, chucking everything out, and her occasionally rummaging around, muttering: ‘Where is that leftover spring roll?’
When it comes to fridge etiquette, though, I am very precise – and very squeamish. Dirtiness is the cardinal sin, closely followed by ‘small bowling’. I cannot bear the sight of a lone potato, olive or meatball sitting in its own dish. People even do it with leftover salad, which everyone knows does not keep after being dressed.
It now seems, however, that I may have slightly overstated the case when bragging about my ultra-pristine fridge habits. Reader, I am a condiment jar fanatic. When something in the deli or supermarket catches my eye, it’s in my basket before I know it. I love to entertain and cook for people, but everyone knows that such impulse purchases as caramelised onion purée, black olive tapenade, pink peppercorns, hollandaise sauce and lazy ginger and garlic are destined to fester at the back of the fridge – maybe even into the next calendar year.
I do occasionally put things in the fridge that I am determined to eat for lunch the next day, such as leftover tomato and basil salad (doesn’t keep – the basil goes black, and tomato should never be in the fridge anyway), or new potatoes that will – in my imaginary world – make an excellent Spanish omelette. Then I end up eating cheese and crackers, and the potatoes get thrown out.
It’s the same in my freezer. If I’ve got a lot of something left over, I’ll put it in a Ziploc freezer bag and label it precisely, including the date it got sent to freezer hell. But everything that isn’t peas, ice cream, chips or an occasional ready meal (bought frozen) gets chucked out in my regular clear-out.
People think that frozen food keeps in the freezer dungeon forever. It does not; most things are not OK after three months. Nevertheless, there it sits, awaiting the inevitable moment of being slung in the bin.
I have now resolved to buy these expensive jars of luxury ingredients only when I know they will be used up. It’s the same with my excellent salad dressing, made with the finest olive oil, sherry vinegar, minced garlic and Dijon mustard. Throwing out the excess, once the salad is dressed, seems unthinkable – criminal even. Into the fridge it goes, behind the sugar syrup I made last time I served margaritas, two jars along from the black bean sauce left over from an experiment with dry-fried green beans and minced pork (and yes, that excess meat is currently languishing in the freezer).
What’s the solution? A massive fridge? A tiny one?
I cannot bear the sight of a lone potato, olive or meatball sitting in its own dish
To be allowed back inside the fridge, food must be completely hygienic and unspoilt. I cringe to see anyone putting half a piece of uneaten salmon, or anything (even untouched) from somebody’s plate at the end of a meal, into Tupperware for later. And don’t get me started on cooks who taste from the wooden spoon they are using, then stick it back in and continue to stir. This once happened when I was at a friend’s house for dinner and I had to resort to a dramatic solution. I knew I couldn’t touch the food, so I pretended to faint, and headed home.
Next time you look in your fridge, check everything – the butter, the date stamp on the eggs, the opened bottle of rice wine vinegar. Nothing lasts forever.
And by the way, if you stick a contaminated piece of cutlery – by which I mean anything that’s not clean and unused – into your marmalade, or any condiment, then no matter how tightly you seal the lid, when you next open it you will see mould growing on it.
Place similar items together on a shelf, according to usage. Do not store eggs in the fridge door, because it’s the warmest part. Raw meat should be wrapped in clingfilm, put on a plate, and stored in the fruit or vegetable drawer to keep its drippings from contaminating other foods.
Today, I found an almost-full jar of cranberry sauce hiding behind the dry January alcohol-free beers. It was from Christmas 2024. Why, once the Boxing Day leftovers had been demolished, did it not go in the bin? I suppose because even my fridge etiquette is not perfect.
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