William Atkinson

Rishi Sunak has long sought to give Britain its very own Silicon Valley. Partially because pseudo-Californian beaches would provide respite from snarling backbenchers, but mainly because creating a European hub for innovation in Britain would be a good way to rejuvenate our sclerotic growth rates. Hence why today the government is stumping up £2.5 million for a new ‘regional partnership’ driving investment towards Oxford and Cambridge. With two of the world’s leading universities in close proximity, turning swathes of South-East England into a haven for science and technology should be a no-brainer, surely? Alas, the philosopher John Stuart Mill didn’t label the Conservatives ‘the stupid party’ for nothing.

The decision to scrap personal statements shows up our university system for what it really is: the priority is no longer about educating students, or academic endeavour, but expansion for expansion’s sake. Ucas (the Universities and College Admissions Service) plans to replace the current applicant essay with a survey. This will reportedly ask taxing questions such as why applicants are motivated to study a particular course, why they are ‘ready to succeed’ and any context for their academic achievements – or lack thereof – so far. The justification? That the status quo is unfair on those students without access to ‘high-quality advice and guidance’.

Oxford’s Faculty of Oriental Studies has had a name change: it will now be known as the Faculty of Asian and Middle Eastern Studies. University bigwigs opted to drop the word 'oriental' over fears that it might be too outdated and potentially offensive. This is a small-minded attack on a great and important subject. It's also a distraction from the university’s real problems. The word’s presence in the faculty’s name hasn’t stopped Oxford from accepting more students from China, India, and the rest of what we once knew as the 'Orient' than ever previously – just as Cecil Rhodes’ statue hasn’t prevented the university from having more black students than ever before.

The greased piglet will soon be sausages. That, at least, seems the obvious outcome of this week's Tory party confidence vote. With over 40 per cent of his MPs in open revolt against him, even Boris Johnson, the great political escapologist, is running out of road. He may have survived now. But with two by-election losses looming in the Red and Blue Walls, a cost-of-living crisis spiralling out of control, and MPs manoeuvring against him, this reprieve looks temporary. The Conservative party has still not entirely recovered from Margaret Thatcher’s defenestration 30-odd years ago, and nobody would want to repeat the six months of agony and the electoral shellacking that it finally took for Theresa May to go. Least of all, surely, Johnson himself.

Durham University has long been considered the destination of choice for Oxbridge rejects. But this is an image some students in Durham are keen to shake off. Durham's Students' Union hopes to end the stereotype that it is the alma mater of choice for those who don't make the cut at Britain's ancient universities. It has published a 48-page 'Culture Commission', in which it says the label is unfair since ‘most students are not in fact unsuccessful candidates of Oxford or Cambridge.' Rather than be embarrassed by this label, Durham students should embrace it. This knee-jerk decision to try and rebrand Durham is hardly surprising at an institution where Rod Liddle's appearance led to protests and which once even banned its Conservative association.

Life is about to get even more miserable for smokers living in Oxford. Oxfordshire county council has announced plans to make the region ‘smoke-free’ by 2025. Smokers will be prevented from having a puff outside cafes, pubs, and restaurants, while employers will be asked to impose smoke-free spaces in workplaces. Hospitals, schools, and public areas will be urged to ban smoking, and lighting up will be discouraged in homes and other private spaces. In short, Marlboro retailers hoping to ply their wares anywhere between Banbury and Henley are going to be out of luck. I’m not a smoker and I have no desire to be. The combination of a wheezy grandfather and a chronic lack of funds has meant a tobacco habit has never held much attraction.