The Spectator

Friday

Jacqueline King

Filthie Olde Seth

From our UK edition

Seth, Seth, the servile serf Earned his cruste by plowing earthe.  Thick filthe lay on his every limbe. The stynke of Seth was foule and grimme. When summer came with azure skye And barleycorne was ripe and drye, Seth leapt at dawne, uncleane from bedde, To shake the dandruffe from his hedde. He scythed ’til noon  then founde some shade To kisse a pungent dairie maide. His wife Griselda came with lunche, Saw what he didde and threwe a punche. Seth fybbed, ‘I kissed her not. Thou art a fool. It’s time to use the ducking stool!’ ‘I’ll fecche,’ yelled wife, ‘the village prieste. Thou heartless manne, thou nastie beaste.’ The priest was eating mutton pie. He wiped his chinne and breathed a sigh.

Wednesday

The Spectator

Biden makes a stunning 2024 admission

President Joe Biden said the quiet part out loud Tuesday, telling donors at a campaign event that he might not be running for re-election if former president Donald Trump were not in the 2024 race. It’s just bad optics for any presidential candidate, let alone a highly unpopular one, to admit that they aren’t super excited about what they’re doing. Senator Rand Paul had a similar moment on the 2016 trail when he was asked if he was still running for president. His response? “I don’t know; I wouldn’t be doing this dumbass live streaming if I weren’t.” Hilarious, but doesn’t exactly strike confidence in the voting base.

The Spectator

The Covid Inquiry is a case study in how not to learn lessons

From our UK edition

Two years ago, a new strain of Covid emerged and with it came calls for a Christmas lockdown. The Omicron variant was said to spread far faster than previous iterations of the virus and Imperial’s Neil Ferguson warned that it was no less deadly. The call for lockdown began and Britain came very close to implementing it. A press conference was called and Rishi Sunak, then chancellor, returned from a trip to California to try to stop what he thought would be another needless social and economic calamity. In the end, another lockdown was avoided. Cabinet members had come to realise that the Sage ‘scenario’ graphs were indefensibly misleading.

The Spectator

Portrait of the week: royal ‘racists’, Scottish pandas and celebrity deaths

From our UK edition

Home James Cleverly, the Home Secretary, told the Commons that to gain a work visa, migrants must in future secure a salary of at least £38,700 instead of the present £26,200. The government also said it would stop health and care workers and students bringing family dependants to Britain. He said this would have disqualified 300,000 who came to Britain last year. Mr Cleverly then flew off to Rwanda and signed a treaty intended to ensure that no one relocated there would risk being returned to a country threatening their life or freedom. Sir Keir Starmer, the leader of the Labour party, said in an article in the Sunday Telegraph: ‘Margaret Thatcher sought to drag Britain out of its stupor by setting loose our natural entrepreneurialism.

The Spectator

Letters: why not let readers buy The Spectator?

From our UK edition

Power to the readers Sir: I would suggest that even if the government of the UAE gives a ‘cast-iron’ guarantee not to interfere with The Spectator’s editorial line, this should be taken with a very large pinch of salt (‘The real deal’, 2 December). Why don’t you ask your subscribers to buy the magazine? With nearly 140,000 of them, and 300,000 subscribing to your TV channel, surely we could raise £70 million, enough to satisfy Lloyds Bank? (It’s called ‘crowdfunding’, I believe.) Jo Aldenham London SW10 To the barricades Sir: In its leading article of 2 December, this magazine quotes John Howard’s comments recently about what makes up a functioning democracy, namely the law, parliament and a free press.

The Spectator

Where does ‘panda diplomacy’ come from? 

From our UK edition

Black and white politics Two pandas, Yang Guang and Tian Tian, left Edinburgh Zoo for China after their 12-year loan to Britain ended. But contrary to popular belief, ‘panda diplomacy’ didn’t begin in 1972 when Chairman Mao gave two to the visiting Richard Nixon – and received two musk oxen in return. (In 1974, Mao also gave British PM Ted Heath the pandas that later inspired the World Wildlife Fund’s logo.) Instead, the first pandas sent by China to the West were from Soong Mei-ling, the wife of the Chinese president Chiang Kai-shek, in 1941 to thank the Americans for their help in repelling the Japanese invasion. The animals were caught by an American missionary, flown to the Philippines, put in a camouflaged ship and transported to San Francisco.

Boris Dralyuk

Broken clock

From our UK edition

Past time, maintains the broken clock. It isn’t off, not by a minute. Without a tick, without a tock, Past time, maintains the broken clock. Twice every day, those still hands mock the present, but they’re never in it. Past time, maintains the broken clock, It isn’t off, not by a minute.

Monday

The Spectator

Trump’s opponents still believe he’s a dictator

As former president Donald Trump seems to be cruising to the GOP nomination — a NewsNation poll has him ahead fifty points over his nearest rivals — his critics in the media and on the left are trotting out a familiar attack. Over the past two weeks, the headlines have been inescapable: Trump is a nasty authoritarian who wants to dismantle America’s democratic political system. This shouldn’t be all that surprising, since we heard similar cries ahead of his election 2016, namely over his support for a “Muslim ban” (a national security travel ban that included countries that are majority Muslim) and for mass deportations of illegal aliens.As the Iowa caucuses creep closer, the revamped, breathless accusations have increased in number and fervor.

Friday

The Spectator

Santos kicked out of Congress

The House of Representatives kicked out its only Jew-ish member today, sending George Santos into the pages of history as one of only a handful of House members to be booted from the body. Former congressman Santos had an eventful second wedding anniversary yesterday, as he held a feisty, fiery press conference to proclaim his innocence — but declined to ask any of his colleagues to defend him against the latest charges. This third attempt at expulsion proved to be the charm for Santos’s foes, who rode the wave of an almost-comedic House Ethics report that alleged Santos spent donor dollars on everything from OnlyFans subscriptions (which he somewhat denied) to Botox (which he basically confirmed).

Wednesday

The Spectator

Nikki Haley gets that sweet Koch money

Political media is buzzing with the news that former UN ambassador Nikki Haley will have the backing of the Koch-funded group Americans for Prosperity Action in the 2024 presidential primary. AFP Action says it will launch a multi-million dollar ad buy for Haley in early primary states and is prepared to deploy all of its grassroots resources to help Haley defeat former president Donald Trump.Who told them to light their money on fire? Haley is the only GOP primary candidate who has gained significant ground in the polls since launching her campaign, but the reality is that Trump still leads her by at least twenty points in New Hampshire and by about thirty in Iowa and Haley’s home state of South Carolina.

The Spectator

2630: Souvenir – solution

From our UK edition

The puzzle appeared on 11 November 2023. The unclued lights reveal ‘The CENOTAPH and POPPY evoke REMEMBRANCE SUNDAY, once ARMISTICE DAY, the ARMISTICE being SIGNED at the ELEVENTH HOUR, ELEVENTH DAY and ELEVENTH MONTH’. First prize Victoria Estcourt, Tisbury, Wilts Runners-up John Harley, Norton, Stockton on Tees; M.D.

The Spectator

Press freedom isn’t ‘sentimental’ – it’s vital

From our UK edition

‘We can be quite sentimental about some of our so-called treasured assets,’ said Lord Johnson, one of Kemi Badenoch’s business ministers, earlier this week. ‘The reality is that media and information has moved on. Clearly, most of us today don’t buy a physical newspaper or necessarily go to a traditional news source.’ His implication was that it doesn’t really matter what happens to The Spectator and the Daily Telegraph, both of which are currently up for sale, and that it is old-fashioned to be concerned about the state of press freedom in general. We beg to differ. John Howard, the former prime minister of Australia, put it well when he observed recently that law, parliament and the free press are the three main components of a functioning democracy.

Fred Johnston

The Old Campaign

From our UK edition

‘Love and war are the same thing...’             —          Miguel de Cervantes Somewhere over the tiled foothills of our council estate A man and a woman are arguing. The focus of the argument is something brutally trivial A TV programme choice, that sort of thing, Yet the air is a hot Isandlewana of big and small wounding And a silence follows, with one avoiding the other While the battleground wounded are hauled away. Unremarkable people go to war like this, see the fracture In the fence and tear at it Making broader access to unremarkable places Left unguarded. (Who slept on duty?

The Spectator

Portrait of the week: Elgin Marbles madness, Israel/Hamas ceasefire and Oscar Pistorius freed

From our UK edition

Home Net migration reached a record 745,000 last year, the Office for National Statistics said, 139,000 higher than the 606,000 it had previously given. Robert Jenrick, the minister for immigration, was reported to be ‘pressuring’ No. 10 with ideas for cutting immigration, such as by making a minimum salary of £35,000 a requirement for a work visa. Rishi Sunak, the Prime Minister, had agreed with Suella Braverman, when she was home secretary, to raise the salary requirement to £40,000, according to a copy of their agreement seen by the Telegraph. Eight small boats carried 364 migrants to England on 26 November. Caolan Gormley, 26, from Co.

The Spectator

Letters: it’s not rude to ask how someone’s name is pronounced

From our UK edition

No control Sir: Your leading article (‘The welfare monster’, 25 November) has fallen into the increasingly common trap of posthumously attributing to Brexit voters imagined reasons for their voting to leave. No, we didn’t ‘in large part’ do so in a search for a better economic model. We did so to rid ourselves of the Brussels behemoth and regain control of our borders. The economically literate of us knew there would be an economic price, but we believed the break for freedom was worth the (allegedly temporary) drop in living standards. How wrong we were. Our borders are as porous as ever, the Whitehall leviathan squats on us more firmly than Brussels ever did, and now the fiscal reality of an ageing and apparently idle populace condemns us to ignominious economic stagnation.

The Spectator

Why don’t Britons spend time in nature? 

From our UK edition

School’s out Aslef members walked out on strike again this week, 18 months after this round of rail strikes began. But the unions still have a long way to catch up with Britain’s longest-ever strike, which lasted 25 years in the unlikely setting of the village of Burston, Norfolk. It began on 1 April 1914 when husband and wife teachers Kitty and Tom Higdon were dismissed from the village school over a fire Kitty had lit to dry out the clothes of children who had walked three miles in the rain. Many of the children, led by Violet Potter – the Greta Thunberg of her day – walked out in sympathy. The Higdons went on to set up their own school, firstly in a marquee, then in a blacksmith’s shop, before putting up their own building.

Fred Johnston

Bone Water

From our UK edition

He felt brave, capable and full of duty He went out with the rest of them and scoured the high grass And the tide-step and low sandy grass He saw how early morning on the river had its beauty They spread out in a loose crescent form Each man could hear the other’s high rubber boots Squeak like rats where the floppy boots Twitched the tall common reeds lightly and moved on Wading birds woke up in a gust of running Out of the way of the new monstrous movement too near And he didn’t any longer want to be near The water, grasses, birds, or whatever was coming No one stumbled on anything, they all went home She wasn’t found that day or any day that ordinary summer Of small cold rain showers and wet sun, a summer That had its useless.

Monday

The Spectator

Biden’s economic blame game

President Joe Biden presided over an event at the White House on Monday in which he announced the creation of a Council on Supply Chain Resilience and promised actions to “strengthen supply chains, lower costs for families and help Americans get the goods they need.” This news might bring a sigh of relief to many — finally, the Biden administration is taking inflation seriously! But the White House first led with a “Bidenomics” victory lap that felt more like a slap in the face than a swelling pocketbook. Transportation secretary Pete Buttigieg gave opening remarks in which he chastised the media for “saying that Christmas was going to be canceled” due to supply chain disruptions in the winter of 2021.

Wednesday

The Spectator

Cuomosexual conversion therapy

Why apologize when you can just wait and hope people forget what you did wrong? As we enter the season of goodwill and gratitude, that’s the question posed by disgraced former New York governor Andrew Cuomo, who this year is thankful for the complicity of his allies as he attempts to stage a comeback.While New York City mayor Eric Adams chokes on a different kind of Turkey, Politico writes that Cuomo has “begun in recent days to gauge the viability of a potential mayoral bid.”Cuomo resigned as governor in ignominy back in August 2021 after an investigation by New York attorney general Leticia James claimed that he had sexually harassed as many as eleven women.