Willselfie
From our UK edition
From our UK edition
From our UK edition
‘There’s slipping in the bath and then there’s slipping in the bath’
From our UK edition
‘I know it’s not a good time but could I have your number?’
From our UK edition
‘We need more of you on the beat.’
From our UK edition
From our UK edition
‘Look at all this Christmas stuff — there’s no room for any Easter eggs.’
From our UK edition
‘If you can’t be drunk, rude and obnoxious at Christmas, then when can you?’
From our UK edition
From our UK edition
From our UK edition
From our UK edition
‘Michaelangelo, when I asked you to carve…’
From our UK edition
From our UK edition
From our UK edition
From our UK edition
From our UK edition
‘You’ll find my wish list on my website — I have prioritised the presents — can you acknowledge to timmy@...’
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‘If his winter fuel charges have gone up, I’m changing our energy supplier.’
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‘We shall now sing O Come All Ye Faithful, stressing the word “all” in a sarcastic manner.’
From our UK edition
‘Oh, you poor things! Quick, come into the cold…’
From our UK edition