Steerpike

Poor old Ed Miliband, attempting a comeback and ending up with egg all over his face instead. Mr Steerpike isn't a vicious chap and feels for the Labour leader, now cowering in a South London greasy spoon after being egged by a man who said he'd have voted for David Miliband and that Labour no longer supports the poor. Miliband seemed to take the whole thing rather well, grinning as his aides crowded around him to brush off the yolk. So who is the egger? Dean Porter, who prefers to call himself @realdeanporter on Twitter and officialdeanporter on Facebook (presumably anticipating his eggsplosion to stardom in East Street market), is apparently a 'Keen Cyclist, Athiest [sic] & anti hero'. Here are some of his enlightening tweets after the event: https://twitter.

Ed Miliband is rumoured to be on the verge of sacking shadow education secretary Stephen Twigg, who is simply no match for Michael Gove’s flair and intellect. I hear that Vernon Coaker, who was Children, Schools and Families Minister under Brown and Balls, is in line for promotion. Coaker is a former teacher and seasoned political pugilist, so he would certainly brighten things up. But the damp Twigg has not given up, not yet. As is his wont, he has penned a letter to the Times Education Supplement. And, as ever, it is not a success. Among the usual bleats about Gove being a rabble rousing ‘ideologue’, I noticed this line: ‘Like a shark in a tornado nothing is left undamaged.

Today’s award for Westminster nominative determinism goes to Labour’s duty spinner over the weekend. Sending out press releases for the red team was one Victoria Street. This name is not a group account reflecting the old location of Labour HQ - 83 Victoria Street - but, as a source confirms, is that of a junior staffer. It reminded me of the time when the Downing Street press office started emailing information from an Alistair Campbell last year. A coincidence, thankfully.

Forget the unedifying spectacle of today’s appointments to the House of Lords; a much more sought-after list is doing the rounds: that of the presents our political leaders sent wee Prince George and his proud parents. Mr Steerpike detects the hand of Mrs Clegg in the Deputy Prime Minister’s choice of a blanket handmade by Spanish nuns, which he presumably picked up while he was on holiday last week. David Cameron has splashed out on the complete works of Roald Dahl, which he could have picked up for less than twenty pounds online if he was clever on his iPad. Meanwhile, I hear that Ed Miliband has sourced the future monarch an apple tree from the London Orchard Project; the tree of knowledge being a traditional gift to give a first born son.

Charming little spat between the Conservative Party and George Orwell’s old literary haunt, Tribune. The magazine, which is edited by a former Labour councillor, is up in arms because the Tories will only give it one free pass to their autumn conference. Given that the periodical has only three members of staff and is the chosen reading matter of what's left of the very left, Steerpike can see why the Tories reckon that one freeloading tribune of the people will be enough. But former Tribune editor Mark Seddon says: ‘It’s an outrage that they should pick on a small paper because it happens to be left-wing.’ A Tory insider hit back this afternoon: ‘This is typical of Labour’s something for nothing culture.

Any MP will tell you that the summer recess is not a holiday. Colleagues on all sides of the House spend the long break working very hard in their constituencies, they say. So here’s a way to take a break from those pesky voters. All MPs were recently emailed the following: ‘URGENT | HMG Election Observation Mission | Maldives | 5-9 September 2013 (exact dates to be confirmed) ‘We are urgently looking for four Members (party/gender balance) to take part in a proposed HMG election observation mission to Maldives for the forthcoming Presidential elections due in September.

The House of Lords’ committee rooms are not ordinarily the setting for a ruckus; but there was rumpus in the Moses Room on Tuesday night, when the greybeards were musing over the Energy Bill. A witness tells me that Baroness Worthington of Cambridge, also known as the environmental campaigner Bryony Worthington, who was elevated from relative obscurity to a Labour peerage in 2011, 'exhibited appalling behaviour.' Worthington was 'screaming, gesticulating wildly, referring to the minister (Baroness Verma) as 'you, you, you', whilst pointing in her face,’ says my man in ermine. At the end of the outburst, it is claimed that Worthington's 'Labour colleagues were hanging their heads in shame and deeply embarrassed.’ What was all the fuss about?

Steerpike is back in this week's edition of the Specator. Here is a preview: 'Is there treachery at the top of Ukip? Westminster has been buzzing with the rumour that Party treasurer Stuart Wheeler has laid money on the Conservatives to win an overall majority in 2015. Can it possibly be true? Mr Steerpike called Mr Wheeler who was happy to spill the beans. Yes, he said, he has placed a bet — ‘bigger than a fiver but not huge’ — but not because he thinks or hopes the Tories will win. ‘I expect to lose the money,’ he says cheerfully, ‘but the odds of 4/1 looked a bit long.’ He’s also laid cash on Nigel Farage to become an MP and on Ukip to grab at least two seats at the election.

You might have thought that being the scene of a tabloid sensation — and one concerning a national treasure — could have spelled a tricky period for Scott’s of Mayfair. Not a bit of it. My man with a corkscrew says that the place has been packed with Tories all week. They had Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith in for lunch on Monday, before Boris and Gove dined (after a fashion) that evening. No one was at anyone else's throat on either occasion. Joe Public does, though, have a wicked sense of humour. The terrace tables, the very spot where Nigella and Charles Saatchi’s marriage ended, are particularly sought-after at present.