Steerpike

Mr S takes embargos very seriously. He respects the convention. An embargo is sacred. Yet the news that Anne McIntosh MP is holding a constituency surgery is so momentous that it took every ounce of my integrity not to share it with you before the appointed time this morning. Most ordinary MPs don't embargo news of their surgeries. These events happen every week, more or less; they ought not to be newsworthy. But McIntosh is extraordinary. Readers may recall that McIntosh, the Tory MP for Thirsk and Malton, has not been re-selected by her association. The Spectator's Martin Vander Weyer, a member of the association, wrote an account of the row.

Owen Jones has denied that Newsnight's appointment of former Labour adviser and TUC official Duncan Weldon as economics correspondent is more evidence of 'left wing bias' at the BBC. On the contrary, Jones says that complaints about Weldon arise from 'myths and deception' and that the 'BBC is stacked full of right wingers'. Now, now, no laughing at the back please – we ought to take the Guardian's star columnist seriously. Jones names 10 people who are connected to the right (some of them very tenuously so): Chris Patten, Nick Robinson, Robbie Gibb, Thea Rogers, Guto Harri, Will Walden, Andrew Neil, Kamal Ahmed, John Humphrys and Craig Oliver.

Jovial Lib Dem Scottish Secretary Alistair Carmichael addressed lobby journalists over lunch today. Speaking from his experience as the party's former chief whip, he managed to praise the discipline of his party in the Coalition. But he also recalled a rather tense episode with Chris Huhne refusing to return to the UK to vote: 'One thing which I was thinking about recently was that Chris Huhne, in the interests of tackling climate change, had managed to be at some big summit in Cancun, so was not available to take part in the division on the day and it was one of the features of Chris's political operation that when the really difficult days would arrive, somehow or other he always seemed to be somewhere else.

Labour says it is tough on welfare policy. And today, the party launched its tough compulsory jobs guarantee funding pledge by looking tough too. Ed Balls, Ed Miliband and Rachel Reeves would have made a stronger Mr Steerpike quail in these hard-hitting outfits.

David Cameron spoke to Barack Obama on the phone last night. That's pretty difficult to imagine, isn't it? A man on the phone. Screw up your eyes and furrow your brow all you like: you'll never quite make that mental leap to imagining what a chap on the phone really does look like. So thank goodness that the Prime Minister is there to help you out. Last night he didn't just tell us that he'd been on the phone, he tweeted out a photo of him on the phone with a Serious Phone Face. Still a bit difficult to imagine, though, isn't it? He should have added an audioboo of him talking in his Special Phone Voice. It's not the first time Cameron has helped us imagine what he looks like on the phone, though.

‘The cyber-nat activity is disgraceful. They will trash anyone who disagrees with them. Their intention is to make people keep their heads down. Salmond could stop it, but he doesn't choose to,’ said Alistair Darling, leader of the Better Together campaign, last month. Supporters of Scottish nationalism have dominated the web for the last five years, slinging abuse and hatred at anyone who dares to speak in favour of the Union. They began in the Scottish newspapers’ online comment sections, honed their craft via email and found full voice with the advent of social media. Twitter is the cesspool of choice for the ‘cyber-nat’ community.

If Grant Shapps and John Major gave a speech but no journalists were there to cover it, did it really happen? That’s what happened today. The Tories invited one pooled camera into their headquarters to see the former prime minister stand next to the party chairman in a belated attempt to prove that at least two senior Tories did not go to Eton. Loyal MPs and spinners delivered the speech line-by-line on Twitter; but the only interesting bits were briefed out to the Daily Mail last night. Apparently, Sir John could only afford half an hour off from watching cricket, so there was no time for a Q&A – nothing at all to do with his off-message comments that have generated plenty of column inches over the last year.

Today's Cabinet meeting in Aberdeen, now underway, has given ministers plenty of opportunity to stare earnestly at Scottish things while trying to make the case for the Union. Here are some of Mr Steerpike's favourites. [caption id="attachment_8719911" align="alignnone" width="620"] Image copyright The Cabinet Office[/caption]   All captions gratefully received in the comments...

What is the Chancellor describing here during an event in Sydney? Or perhaps this is a new hand gesture to deploy against Ed Balls at Treasury Questions?