Steerpike

Things are looking up for George Osborne. Not only have bookies slashed his odds of making a political comeback, the former Chancellor is adapting nicely to life on the backbench. According to the latest register of interests, Osborne has managed to trouser almost £100,000 from giving just three speeches across the pond. So, what did he talk about for the fee? At the SIFMA event, he is reported to have told attendees that when the UK makes decisions like Brexit 'that make us more remote from our European partners, we will pay a price for that'. He also is reported to have 'grieved deeply about the impact on the economy of the Brexit surprise' but at least conceded there would be opportunities to 'get the decisions right' moving forward.

Given the number of people Theresa May managed to offend at last night's Parliamentarian of the Year awards, the Prime Minister's decision to accept her gong from George Osborne wearing the former chancellor's hard hat and high-vis jacket was pretty low-ranking. Nevertheless not one to be easily outdone, George Osborne has hit back today. The MP for Tatton has shared a photo of him in his infamous attire, with the caption 'back with its rightful owner'. https://twitter.com/George_Osborne/status/794218401510150144 However, Osborne doesn't have much to worry about -- Mr S can't see May returning to the attire anytime soon.

This time last year, George Osborne was the Chancellor of the Exchequer and tipped to be the next Prime Minister. One year on and -- in the aftermath of the Brexit result -- the MP for Tatton is now a backbencher. Happily, Osborne had a chance to reunite with his old Cabinet friends, aka 'besties' -- as the host of the Spectator's Parliamentarian of the Year awards. Like or loathe Osborne, his speech was sensational. Following a turbulent year in politics, tonight's gongs made for some interesting acceptance speeches. While Sadiq Khan paid tribute to his mayoral rival Zac Goldsmith for helping him to achieve his large mandate, Boris Johnson promised to make a 'titanic success' of Brexit. This led to cries of "it sank!" as the Prime Minister buried her head in her hands.

What did Will Straw do to deserve his gong? It’s a mystery which has baffled many - including Mr. S - ever since Straw was handed a CBE for leading the ‘Stronger In’ campaign to a resounding defeat in the referendum. Straw's inclusion on David Cameron's resignation honours list was labelled a ‘joke’, while others said it was a clear reward for failure. So the appearance of the head honcho of the Remain campaign at a select committee today seemed like a perfect opportunity for Straw to finally shed some light on what he did to deserve those three letters after his name. Alas, even Straw himself isn’t sure why he got the gong.

Michael Gove has been keeping himself busy this week with his non-apology apology tour. He came close to saying sorry to Boris Johnson and admitted he made mistakes during the party’s summer leadership contest. But he has saved his biggest about-turn for this morning. In his column in The Times today, the Brexit backer has admitted he's fallen head over heels for an unlikely person: Ed Balls. Where once the pair traded blows across the despatch box, Gove has now changed his tune and declared his true feeling for his former adversary. He said that ‘against (his) better judgement...

Spare a thought for John McDonnell. The shadow chancellor was up and about early this morning to criticise Theresa May on the airwaves for her stance on Brexit. But while McDonnell was eager to get his message across, Mr S wonders whether he might have forgotten something before he left the house. It seems by the time he got around to delivering his actual speech this morning, it was breakfast, rather than Brexit, which was on his mind. Here's what he said: 'The Government is hurtling towards a chaotic breakfast that will damage our economy and hurt the poorest and most vulnerable most of all.' Still, at least McDonnell can console himself with the fact that he isn't the first politician to confuse breakfast and Brexit.

Poor old David Cameron. His defeat in the referendum campaign left critics saying he was the worst Prime Minister ever. Now, it seems, it’s not only his legacy which falls short of some of his predecessors. Having quit Parliament, Dave was planning to use the next year to cash in on his memoirs. When his book was first touted, there was talk of the former PM earning a multi-million pound payment. Some said his advance could even match - or beat - that of Tony Blair, who picked up £4.6m for his book ‘A Journey’. Instead, the actual amount Cameron will earn is something of a disappointment. It’s being reported today that he'll get an advance of £800,000 for his book.

Just when you thought it was confined to political folklore, the EdStone returns again to haunt Labour. Mr S was interested to learn this morning that the Electoral Commission has fined the party £20,000 for failing to declare the money spent on the doomed eight-foot tombstone. Labour failed to declare £7,614 worth of receipts for the stone plinth, which form part of 74 payments worth £123,748 that appear to have been missed out of the declaration of expenses from the 2015 electoral campaign. The commission's fine is the largest of its kind since it was set up in 2001. Were the receipts lost in the post? Or were they ripped up at the same point that the EdStone was smashed to pieces by Miliband's loyal political flunkeys?

Steven Woolfe has said Ukip is in a ‘death spiral’ and on the basis of the latest candidate to join the party’s leadership contest, it seems like he might be right. John Rees-Evans announced this morning that he was throwing his hat in the ring to replace Nigel Farage at the top of the party. Rees-Evans is a relative outsider in the race and few know quite what he stands for. But what is known about the Ukip leadership candidate is that he once accused a ‘gay donkey’ of trying to ‘rape’ his horse. And during his leadership pitch on the Daily Politics, he was keen to try and move on from what he called ‘playful banter with a mischievous activist’.

During the EU referendum, there was a fierce contest between Vote Leave and Grassroots Out over which would win the official designation to campaign for Out. In the end, it went to Vote Leave -- after it was decided that they held the widest cross-party support. Part of the issue was that the majority of eurosceptic Conservative MPs backed Vote Leave. This was down -- in part -- to an unhelpful interview, Grassroots Out's Arron Banks gave to the Times. The Ukip donor struck a low note when he accused David Cameron of using his late disabled son Ivan as a prop over NHS policy. At the time, the comments were put down to the Ukip donor having one too many during the interview. So, has time healed old wounds? Apparently not.

Although Chuka Umunna was widely tipped to succeed Keith Vaz as chair of the home affairs select committee, in the end it was Yvette Cooper who proved triumphant. In fact, Umunna came a distant third in the election -- with Caroline Flint coming second. So, what went wrong? The word being put round Westminster is that the vote was split between Cooper and Umunna until the Tories -- allegedly worried that Umunna would prove too great a threat as chair and then have a springboard to become leader -- conspired to thwart the New Labour darling. Alas, this version of events fails to ring true in the Conservative camp. 'Let's just say no Tories were losing sleep over Umunna's bid,' Mr S's mole retorts. 'He might want to look closer to home'.

Theresa May’s track record of telling jokes in the Commons isn’t good. Last month at Prime Minister’s Questions, her wise cracks went down badly and she was criticised by a Labour MP for telling ‘silly jokes when asked serious questions’. At today’s PMQs, she was at it again - and Mr S is pleased to report she had much more luck in making her fellow MPs laugh. Backbencher Peter Bone has long been a thorn in the side of Tory leaders. But ever since the Brexit vote, he's been somewhat more upbeat about life. And on his birthday today, he had an extra reason to be happy. Yet despite his good mood, he probably wouldn’t have been bracing himself for Theresa May’s risqué reply to his question about prisons.