Steerpike

Oh dear. It seems that the hapless hero of Haringey has done it again. David Lammy is filling in for Keir Starmer today as our under-fire premier jets off to Brazil for COP30. So it is up to his deputy to fill in at today's PMQs session. Lammy stepped up to the despatch box with relish, with a nice planted question from a loyal backbencher to kick things off. Connor Rand gushed his congratulations on Lammy's 'historic achivement' to which the Deputy PM graciously gave his thanks. The bear pit of the Commons at its best.... Unfortunately though for Lammy, it seems that he had forgotten what time of the year it is. For having begun his session, it was then discovered that he was not in fact wearing a poppy – four days before Remembrance Sunday.

The human race, controlled by a soulless, robotic overlord. It is the stuff of countless sci-fi dystopias – but here in Britain, it is just another day of living under Keir Starmer's government. Our charisma-free premier is not exactly known for his love of humanity: just look at his pre-election Guardian interview in which he said he did not have a favourite book or poem, did not know if he was an introvert or extrovert and claimed to have never had a childhood fear. So after 16 months of Sir Keir's reign of error, it is no surprise that half the public now favour switching to a similarly heartless, albeit competent, regime. No, not the Tories – but rather a hypothetical alternative reality in which the British state was run by artificial intelligence.

Last year, Scotland's former first minister Alex Salmond had a heart attack during a trip to North Macedonia and passed away. Salmond brought his country to the brink of independence in 2014 and helped establish the Scottish National party as a mainstream group north of the border – but his career was also tainted by allegations of sexual assault and misconduct. As revealed by the Sunday Times, the ex-FM died almost penniless in 2024, after fighting two court battles in a bid to save his reputation. One of his supporters, former SNP MSP Fergus Ewing, has claimed that 'the prosecution against him arose, in substantial party, from motives of malice on the part of his enemies'. Good heavens.

The royal family hasn't been able to stay away from the spotlight lately, as scrutiny over Andrew Mountbatten Windsor's links to US paedophile Jeffrey Epstein have dominated the news. Last week, Andrew was formally stripped of his titles by King Charles and the royal will vacate his Royal Lodge mansion after it emerged he had been paying a 'peppercorn' rent for two decades. Now President Donald Trump has waded in, saying he feels 'badly' for the royals. Speaking to journalists on Air Force One on Sunday, Trump was quizzed on the King's decision to remove Andrew's titles. The US President remarked: It's a terrible thing that's happened to the [royal] family. That's been a tragic situation. It's too bad. I feel badly for the family.

It turns out Kemi Badenoch's kitchen sink approach in the recent Barnet by-election paid off. The result of the Hendon ward council by-election came in early this morning, with the poll held after former Tory councillor Joshua Conway lost his seat over a job change making him ineligible to stay on. But as Mr S wrote on Tuesday, the Conservative campaign was rather unusual – in the fact that a number of rather senior politicians took the trouble to canvass for their candidate. It's not all that common for a party leader, a shadow justice secretary and the party's chairman to take much interest in a council poll – but given how the Tories are polling at present, every seat counts.

Can Labour get anything right? If it's not freebie fiascos, or tax affair slip-ups, it's Chancellor Rachel Reeves coming under fire over her illegal letting palaver. On Wednesday, the Daily Mail revealed that Reeves had been letting out her family home without a licence. Defending herself, the Chancellor claimed she and her husband were not aware that they were required to secure a selective rental licence. Yet unearthed emails appear to contradict this story… Email exchanges released by No. 10 on Thursday night showed that conversations between Reeves's husband and the couple's letting agent about the need for a licence were had.

Another day, another Reform press conference. Today the central London meet-up saw former Conservative MP-turned-defector Danny Kruger take to the podium to set out his plans to prepare the party for government. As James Heale wrote for Coffee House, Kruger wants to reduce civil servant numbers, end leases on a selection of Whitehall premises and better empower parliament. But he also turned his attention to his own (new) party too – setting out something of a vision of Reform's evolution. 'I'm going to start by risking a metaphor,' Kruger warned his crowd. He went on: People keep asking me how I feel having left the sinking ship of the Tory party, and I feel pretty good. We are riding high. The wind is in our sails. I'm on a ship that is actually going somewhere.

Andy Burnham is back. After his humiliation at Labour conference, the Mayor of Greater Manchester has returned, hawking his conscience around once more. At last night’s London launch of his new book, Head North: A Rallying Cry for a More Equal Britain, co-written with Liverpool Mayor Steve Rotheram, Burnham attacked Starmer again. He criticised the ‘narrow and shallow’ way the Prime Minister runs his government, citing the handling of the two-child benefit cap rebellion. Though Mr S doubts No. 10 will heed Bottler Burnham’s advice… ‘No one lost the whip under Brown or Blair,’ Burnham complained when asked about the case of backbench rebel Ian Byrne. He then went further, arguing that MPs’ careers were 'jeopardised' for 'saying the right thing.