Steerpike

It’s all very well judging political parties on their polling figures. But what exactly do voters think about their leaders? Look no further: thanks to Savanta polling for the Scotsman, Mr S has discovered just how negatively the people of Scotland view those vying to be their next First Minister. Bottom of the pile is, shock, horror, flailing First Minister Humza Yousaf. Quelle surprise! The polling confirms what we already previously knew: hapless Humza is officially ‘Useless’.  His first six months in power at Holyrood have seen him struggle to escape the shadow of his predecessor – and that ongoing police probe. A new word cloud generated about him from voter opinions reveals that his infamous nickname has stuck.

She’s back! It wouldn’t be a proper SNP jamboree without an appearance from the dear Leader, the self-identifying Chief Mammy of nationalist fervour, Nicola Sturgeon. As hard as she tried to claim her surprise visit to Aberdeen was not overshadowing her successor's first party conference, Mr S wasn’t convinced that even she believed that… With her entrance to the annual conference given a hero’s welcome, Sturgeon was swarmed by adoring activists as she crowed to journalists about her ‘fair amount of electoral success’.

It seems the SNP’s prospects are as gloomy as the Granite City. Day one of the nationalists’ shindig in Aberdeen has already seen a range of, er, unorthodox contributions made on the main stage. It turns out that there are people madder than the SNP politicians: the party’s membership. From furious talk of ‘treason’ to a star turn from an SNP activist who recently launched a leadership bid to topple Humza Yousaf, it’s been another stellar outing for the self-identifying ‘natural party of government’. Today’s members’ discussion was focused on – what else? – independence.

Dear oh dear. The SNP is not a happy place right now. Following yesterday’s spectacular defection from Lisa Cameron, Kate Forbes has today announced she will also be a no-show at SNP conference for the first time since becoming an MSP. Forbes, who narrowly lost hapless Humza earlier this year, plans to shun her party’s Aberdeen shindig and head instead stateside. Forbes says she has ‘longstanding engagements’ in the US, but her timing will raise eyebrows among the SNP establishment. Sunny climates or watching your party implode in the Granite City? Tough choice…. Forbes isn’t likely to be the only SNP politician snubbing Yousaf’s first party conference, senior nationalists tell Steerpike.

The SNP exodus continues. Only hours after Lisa Cameron MP defected to the Tories, nationalist councillor Kairin van Sweeden has now quit too after being accused of racism. The spat broke out with Labour colleague Deena Tissera after van Sweeden suggested her fellow councillor was unaware of the bedroom tax as, er, a ‘new Scot’. Blood and soil nationalism? So much for progressive… Tissera claims that the jibe was used in the context of suggesting she ‘had just come off a boat’, penning a furious letter to First Minister Humza Yousaf and his chief executive and former spin doctor Murray Foote.

Oh dear, Keir Starmer’s speech didn’t get off to the best start at Labour conference. As he began to open his speech, a heckler, in a massive lapse of security, was able to get on stage and throw glitter over the Labour leader. The protestor – who was shouting platitudes like ‘true democracy is citizen led’ and ‘we demand a people’s house’ – was then dragged off stage by his suit jacket. Mr S isn't really convinced it was the most effective protest... Still, Starmer managed to recover from the incident well. After removing his glitter-covered jacket and rolling his shirt sleeves up, he remarked that: ‘If he thinks that bothers me, he doesn’t know me.’ And then added to applause: ‘Protest or power, that’s why we changed our party, conference.

With Labour ahead in the polls by around 15 points, and the party seemingly on course to win a general election next year, you would think it would be all sunshine and smiles at the Labour conference, held in Liverpool. It appears though that some of the party are less than happy with the current situation they find themselves in. Yesterday, at a packed fringe event at conference, the Labour Assembly Against Austerity and the Socialist Campaign Group of Labour MPs gathered to discuss ‘Socialist Solutions to the Tory Crisis’ – but predominantly seemed occupied with the dreadful thought that the party might actually get elected.

Oh dear. Jeremy Corbyn is at it again. The onetime Labour leader is currently contemplating the end of his political career at the next election, since losing the party whip three years ago. And he will have done little to endear himself to the Starmer army these past 24 hours. First he posted a statement that made Layla Moran look like a latter-day Palmerston. Then, having missed out on a scheduled appearance at Labour conference by not getting verification, he found himself involved in an altercation with an ITV journalist.

To Green conference, where the party is thrashing out its policy platform ahead of next year's general election. All too often in British politics, the smaller parties are distracted and held back by internal rows and feuds. So Mr S was intrigued to hear how the Greens would walk the delicate line between broadening the party's appeal and retaining their tradition of internal party democracy. Upon entering the Brighton Centre, one of the first leaflets thrust in Steerpike's direction expressed concern about the lack of ethnic minority representation within the party. Kefentse Dennis, one of the candidates for the party executive earlier this year, has previously accused the Greens of being 'institutionally racist'.

If there’s anything consistent about Scottish politics, it’s that sooner or later the conversation will always return to independence. After winning a striking number of nationalists’ votes in today’s Rutherglen by-election, it was only a matter of time before Labour were quizzed on their constitutional stance. Sir Keir Starmer and Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar arrived in the constituency this morning to a rally riddled with technical hitches and bin lorries dumping rubbish in the background. Not exactly the ‘fresh start’ Labour promised… Their new MP Michael Shanks enjoyed a victory lap before Starmer weighed in, fielding questions from the press.