Simone Hanna

Those of us who signed up for DNA testing kits from 23andMe did so thinking we’d unlock deep ancestral secrets. Maybe we’d discover we had royal blood, or finally settle the family debate over whether great-grandpa Dmitri was really Kenyan after all. Often, the results were far less conclusive: the tests revealed that we were 12 per cent Neanderthal, distantly related to Genghis Khan’s less-heralded cousin, Mungo, and possibly allergic to liquorice. Not uninteresting, but not that exciting, either. The tests revealed we were 12 per cent Neanderthal and distantly related to Genghis Khan’s less-heralded cousin, Mungo Now, though, our DNA is the source of high drama, and no small amount of peril, thanks to the demise of 23andMe. The firm, once worth $6 billion (£4.

Rishi Sunak’s plan to ban American Bully XLs is welcome news for us dog haters. It’s long been said that pooches are man’s best friend. But this is a problem if, like me, you love men, but are less than enamoured with his mate. If what the Spice Girls said about needing to get along with the friends of your paramour is true, then us cynophobes face solitude amidst the wilderness of dog-loving Englishmen on the dating scene.  Over the years, I have mastered the art of gracefully skipping over the topic of dogs. But the prevalence of these animals is such that, sooner or later, the topic must be faced. Admitting you can’t stand man’s best friend is seen by many as a red flag, something you are forced to justify.