Peachy Keenan

Get ready for a Spencer Pratt Summer

This spring, many Angelenos have reported a strange, wild wind blowing down through the brushy canyons and over the sunbaked asphalt plains and across the urine-soaked beach parking lots of Los Angeles.  There is a whiff of something new wafting into your Tesla sun roof at red lights, and for once it isn't the choking smell of weed or the belching exhaust from junkie-filled RVs idling in alleys. It is hope. And its name is Spencer Pratt. His momentum is real and it's spectacular.

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Where can I get some meth?

I was born in Santa Monica, California. So were four of my children. When I was little, Santa Monica was still a sleepy backwater with mom-and-pop stores, a quiet local beach that was never crowded and virtually zero crime. A place where murder or mayhem or even robbery were unthinkable. Then, sometime in the 1990s, Santa Monica was discovered by the rest of the city as a “really nice place to live” and was targeted for destruction. In Los Angeles you are not allowed to have nice things. Every Christmas, Ocean Avenue along the coast was lined with 13 historic, life-size scenes depicting the complete life of Jesus. These famous and beloved displays started in 1953, but in 2015 the city banned them after atheist groups complained.

meth

The Emmys are a waste of time

On NPR, they were busy ignoring the Charlie Kirk assassination story by focusing on what really matters: this year’s Emmy Awards, which took place in Beverly Hills. I realized I didn’t recognize a single show – or actor. Then I remembered that I haven’t watched an actual television series in years. What is there to watch? At its core, the reason is because everyone in Hollywood hates you The Emmys are a celebration of TV stars I’ve never heard of, shows I don’t watch and a never-ending succession of narcissists delivering the same woke diatribes into the microphone. You hate Trump, too? That’s one we’ve never heard before, how original. The nation is eager to hear from the best supporting actress winner about how the right must atone for causing Kirk’s death.

Emmys

California is doomed

Why is anyone even remotely interested in regime-changing a nasty, far-away foreign country that hates America when there is a nasty country much, much closer that hates us, too? OK, technically California is not a country, but it’s about the same size as Japan and Sweden. Its GDP – $4.1 trillion – is the fourth-highest in the world, behind the other 49 combined United States, China and Germany. It has as many residents as Canada. More people live here than in Spain or Saudi Arabia (and more than in our 22 smallest states combined). California is a monster in every way. That used to be a good thing: its powerful allure and economic might attracted the best and brightest from all over. Einstein taught in Pasadena, at Caltech.

California