Mary Killen

Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 26 March 2015

From our UK edition

Q. When sending wedding invitations, does one put the full titles on the card, or can one just put, for example, Jane and John having addressed the envelope to Mr and Mrs John Smith? Isn’t it strange that all one’s old wedding invitations are nowhere to hand when one needs them? I would really appreciate

Dear Mary: What can I do to make couples split the bill fairly?

From our UK edition

Q. I’m a single bloke now and for various reasons don’t foresee any change to that status. I have moved to Australia and found several convivial people of similar backgrounds who are couples. From time to time we meet up in restaurants but I find there is an expectation that the bill be settled either

Dear Mary: How can I stop my elderly host making the bed?

From our UK edition

Q. I have regularly stayed with a hospitable friend in London but now hesitate to invite myself. She is seventy-something with a bad back and no help but always provides me with an immaculately presented bed and refuses to let me help with its preparation and dismantling. I bring presents but feel these are small

Dear Mary: How can I stop my neighbour pacing the ceiling?

From our UK edition

Q. The woman who lives above me has insomnia and walks around all night. I’m also disturbed by her rather noisy cat, which seems to be constantly jumping around. Together they are keeping me awake and my work is suffering. But we are in a small house converted into two flats and I don’t wish

Dear Mary: how can I stop my husband from chopping down all our trees?

From our UK edition

Q. My husband — currently unemployed — has started ‘sourcing’ logs from our own smallholding. Chopping down perfectly good trees, sawing logs, drying them … to say nothing of trying to get a fire going without proper kindling or firelighters, is now taking him up to three hours per day. I realise that this is displacement activity

Dear Mary: How can I stop friends staying after a 21st?

From our UK edition

Q. A neighbour is hosting a party for his daughter’s 21st birthday. Adequate provision has been made for anyone who wants to sleep over but I won’t be taking up the option myself since I don’t drink and I can easily drive home. Unfortunately I am coming under pressure from some acquaintances at university that

Dear Mary: What can I do about my neighbours’ downmarket recycling?

From our UK edition

Q. Since recycling was introduced in our village, the wall at the end of our drive has become the depositing point for some neighbours as well as for us. Unfortunately their detritus is not sophisticated and while our green boxes are filled with wine bottles of respectable appellations, theirs is crammed with cheap lager tins.

Dear Mary: What would Mrs Fulford like for Christmas?

From our UK edition

From Francis Fulford Q. Have you any suggestions for what to give my wife for Christmas? She doesn’t want anything practical and was deeply unamused when I gave her a ‘top-of-the-range’ Barbour tweed coat some years ago. So obvious things like gardening forks, dog leads etc are out of the question. My children have suggested

Dear Mary: Tom Hodgkinson asks how to earn more money

From our UK edition

From Tom Hodgkinson, Idler Academy Q. I have started my own academy where adults can learn skills such as ukulele, philosophy and calligraphy. This venture has every appearance of success: it will doubtless make money one day. I am completely free. The mother of my children is beautiful and interesting, and so are her issue. Best

Dear Mary: Jesse Norman asks how to deal with defectors

From our UK edition

From Jesse Norman MP Q. We’ve been having a little local difficulty at work with one or two colleagues who vigorously assert their loyalty to the organisation, but then go and join a would-be competitor. It’s not that this is bad for morale; on the contrary. But it confuses some of our customers. Your advice

Dear Mary: Jim Broadbent worries that he lacks ‘certainty’

From our UK edition

From Jim Broadbent Q. As an immensely successful actor I am more than happy with my lot. However, I have recently developed a burning desire to make my mark in politics. I feel sure that I could make a favourable impression and that it could only enhance my already stratospheric public profile. My only problem

Dear Mary: Tatler’s editor asks how to cope with her new-found fame

From our UK edition

From Kate Reardon, Tatler Q. I recently took part (some might say ‘starred’) in a highly acclaimed BBC2 fly-on-the-wall documentary series. I must admit I rather enjoyed being centre of attention, followed at all times by a production crew and constantly being asked my opinion on an exciting array of topics. How can I adjust