Mary Ann-Sieghart

Q. My wife and I are enthusiastic dancers so when we heard that people we know through mutual friends were giving a party on a sprung floor at Cecil Sharp House in Regent’s Park with ceilidh dancing and a caller, we were desperate to go. The trouble was, we hadn’t been invited. We knew there was no sit-down dinner to complicate things and logic told us that the hosts would probably welcome additional numbers of willing dancers. I was too shy to telephone them and put them on the spot by asking if we could gatecrash. We are now kicking ourselves for not having been pushy, as our friends say it was a great party and the hosts told them we would have been welcome. How should we have tackled this, Mary? —Name and address withheld A.

Q. My son goes into his final year at school this September and I would like him to be able to duck out of next summer’s leavers’ bonding trip. This seems to have become a compulsory fixture despite the school abdicating all responsibility for planning it to the inexperienced upper-sixth-formers. Some of this year’s leavers were physically attacked by gangs during their week on a Spanish island and some had clearly joined in with all the degradation on offer and the attendant health risks. The parents tried to arrange an early evacuation but the boys insisted on toughing it out. The school claims this event is a worthwhile rite of passage but I fear the risks are not worth taking and wonder how you would advise my own son to avoid being peer-pressured into taking part.