Luke Lyman

There’s something very religious about nihilism. For proof, look to the new capital of American nihilism, Minneapolis. A callousness toward death and danger has fallen over the city. Of the many disturbing videos to come out of Minnesota’s anti-ICE protests, one of the stranger examples shows a white man walking up to a line of heavily armed law-enforcement officers, shouting: “Shoot us in the fucking face! Shoot me in the fucking head!” What possesses someone to do that? I understand being against Donald Trump and Stephen Miller’s blitzkrieg deportation policy. And it’s not irrational, in the viral age, to protest theatrically. But this is psychotic. It is the death drive in overdrive.

One of my favorite Walt Whitman stanzas goes like this: I’m a pioneer! I’m an explorer! I’m a human, and I’m comin’! I’m animated! I’m alive! My heart’s big! It’s got hot blood goin’ through it fast! I like to fight! I like to eat! I like to have children! I’m here! I got a life force! This is a human! This is what we look like! This is what we act like! This is what everyone was like before us! This is what I am! Just kidding. That’s Alex Jones, the voice of our time. Nobody in media has won more in the past 20 years than Jones. He’s lost a lot along the way, of course, including the largest defamation suit in American history and access to every mainstream media platform. But those were only temporary slowdowns.

Another day, another public execution. The talking heads on television and Twitter tell us not to worry too much: America is still strong. They repeat this sentiment after every waking nightmare. These horrific events are not the norm, they say. They’re just the actions of a few people on the “fringe.”  But what is the American “fringe”? The “fringe” tried to incinerate the country in 2020. The “fringe” tore down statues of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. The “fringe” control the universities and has spent years indoctrinating kids with discriminatory dogmas. The “fringe” created the policies that let violent, mentally ill men prowl the streets and kill refugees. The “fringe” killed a healthcare CEO at sunrise in December.

The most common vice among Mormons – besides, perhaps, being a little too nice – is a ravenous, insatiable, unyielding sweet tooth. That’s why members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are devouring the American dessert industry. You may have noticed, in recent years, a sprinkling of Crumbl Cookies stores in cities and suburbs. Or maybe a quirky customizable mixed-soda place such as Swig has opened near you. Or you’ve heard someone mention a “dirty soda.” These are the candied cultural exports of Utah and its predominantly Mormon culture. Over the past eight years, Crumbl – with its sugary-sweet marketing and bright pink boxes – has launched more than 1,000 franchises and become one of the largest dessert companies in the country.