Lloyd Evans

Lloyd Evans

Lloyd Evans is The Spectator's sketch-writer and theatre critic

Lindsay Hoyle was a breath of fresh air at PMQs

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New year. New parliament. New speaker of the House of Commons. The change was palpable immediately. Former speaker John Bercow found it impossible to say nothing even when he had nothing to say, which was most of the time. His successor Lindsay Hoyle has the contrary virtue of terseness. He got through the session without uttering a word, other than to state the name of each MP as he called them. Jeremy Corbyn, newly elected member for Tehran South, fretted about the legality of Qassem Soleimani’s assassination. ‘Not our operation,’ said Boris. He noted that Corbyn had failed to condemn any of Soleimani’s military operations, even though ‘that man had the blood of British troops on his hands.

Lily Allen to Newsnight: The 41 most annoying things in 2019

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Lily Allen. Lights! Camera! Hanky! It’s been a vintage year for Twitter’s comedy genius. The needy pub-bore grumblings of Tony Blair. Ditto John Major. Ant and Dec. Even after the drunken prang it’s impossible to tell them apart. The panicky new jargon of weather forecasters, (old version in brackets). Flood warning. (Drizzle). Drought warning. (Drizzle clearing). Zero visibility. (Overcast). Threat to life. (Hail). Hypothermia alert. (Frost). Blizzards expected with a wind-chill of minus 50. (Easterly breezes). Susanna Reid. Why does she let the bloke with the big head do all the talking? The minor Johnsons. One is acceptable but do we need the others?

Full of fascinating data and excellent comedy: Messiah at Stratford Circus reviewed

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I’ve joined the Black Panthers. At least I think I have. I took part in an induction ceremony at the start of Messiah at Stratford Circus. ‘Stand up,’ said the actor Shaq B. Grant to the predominantly white crowd. ‘Raise your right fist and repeat after me: “I am a revolutionary.”’ Everyone obeyed and chanted his mantra, some with more sincerity than others. Then the show began. The subject is a notorious police raid on a Panther hideout in Chicago in 1969 which resulted in the death of Fred Hampton, a 21-year-old activist nicknamed ‘the Black Messiah’. The police alleged that the Panthers opened fire first. The Panthers claimed that Hampton sustained survivable wounds during the raid and was later executed by unnamed police officers.

All the world’s a stage: this election has echoes of Shakespeare and Dickens

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The Christmas election has unfolded like a series of mini-dramas from panto, Dickens and other popular classics. Boris has come across as a Dick Whittington figure, already twice mayor of London, and hoping to establish his seat in the capital on a more permanent footing. Jeremy Corbyn resembles Mother Goose flinging sugary treats at gullible children. And Jo Swinson has clearly been reading Cinderella (and believing every word of it). Swinson positioned herself as the long-suffering drudge who must tidy away the mess left by the Ugly Sisters, namely the Tory and Labour parties. In the story, Cinderella ends up as a princess (‘I’m standing to be your next prime minister’). The snag is that elections rarely turn out like fairy tales.

Magic Grandpa to Free Stuff: The A to Z of the 2019 general election

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A is for Alliance. All across the country voting pacts and tactical deals are being fixed. These arrangements are helpful to cash-strapped smaller parties who can save money and present their thrift as a statesmanlike decision to ‘withdraw for the good of the country.’ For activists, voting pacts may be problematic. The deals rely heavily on opinion polls. And opinion polls are heavily influenced by false answers given by the kind of activists who arrange voting pacts. B is for Balance or ‘fair reporting’. The Beeb gets it right every time by interviewing a fixed number of Remainers and an identical number of Leavers who have switched to Remain. C is for Climate crisis.

A flimsy tale of self-pity and thwarted ambition: Hunger at the Arcola reviewed

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Oh my God. The Nazis have invaded the Arcola Theatre. Norwegian novelist Knut Hamsen won the Nobel Prize in 1920 and later became such an ardent fan of Hitler that he sent his Nobel gong to Goebbels as a token of his admiration. The Arcola admits these demerits in the programme notes. What it overlooks is the intriguing fact that some commentators credit Hamsen with inventing the stream of consciousness technique developed by James Joyce in Ulysses. His breakthrough novel, Hunger, published in 1890, recounts his experiences as a penniless scribbler seeking work in the Norwegian capital. The protagonist in Fay Lomas’s engaging production is an archetype whom any professional writer will recognise: the unpublished hack who thinks he’s a genius.

Punk spirit underpinned by darkness and horror: Richard III at the Sam Wanamaker Theatre reviewed

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The history plays are different. In dramas like Othello, Hamlet and Much Ado, Shakespeare laid out the plot with great clarity because the stories were new, or newish, to his audiences. But Richard III belonged to the recent past. The wonky monarch’s death predated the play’s debut by just over a century, so Richard’s era stood at the same distance from the Elizabethans as we stand from the Edwardian age. However, few modern playgoers know the dynastic complexities that drive the storyline so it’s worth mugging up in advance. This modern-dress production (co-directed by Sean Holmes and Ilinca Radulian) has been cast without regard to race, gender or age.

An astonishing treat: Dear Evan Hansen at the Noël Coward Theatre reviewed

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Dear Evan Hansen, by Steven Levenson, opens as a standard American teen-angst musical. Evan is a sweaty geek with a crush on Zoe Murphy whose rebellious brother, Connor, is so disturbed that he styles his hair to suggest ‘school-shooter chic’. Evan tries to befriend Connor but gets shoved to the ground. Then, a bombshell. Connor kills himself. By an amazing but credible coincidence Connor’s parents start to believe that Evan was good pals with their deceased son. And Evan exaggerates the depth of the friendship in order to help the family, and especially the mother, cope with their grief. He even fabricates an exchange of emails in which Connor appears to speak warmly about his parents and to express hopes for the future.

Riveting and beautifully staged analysis of totalitarianism: Arcola’s #WeAreArrested reviewed

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When the RSC does modern drama it usually lays on an ultra-worthy yarn with a huge cast, dozens of fancy costumes and a three-hour running time. Miraculously, its new co-production with the Arcola avoids these faults and delivers a terse, gripping 75-minute documentary drama based on the prison diary of Turkish journalist, Can Dundar. In 2015 Dundar received proof that his country’s intelligence service was attempting to supply arms to Syrian rebels. He knew that if he released the material he might face jail but he published it anyway and was threatened with life imprisonment. Peter Hamilton Dyer, well known for impersonating journalists, plays Dundar as a loveably cerebral type determined to stick to his principles.

Prince Andrew’s Newsnight interview was a career-defining calamity

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Hats off to Newsnight. BBC 2’s flagship political show bagged itself an almighty royal scoop. Emily Maitlis was given an hour to quiz Prince Andrew about his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, the convicted sex-offender who was found dead in his jail cell in August. The first bombshell of the night was the news that months of negotiation had led up to this stage-managed encounter in a Buckingham Palace drawing room. ‘Normally we’d be discussing your work,’ opened Maitlis, as if her main ambition in life is to cover the potterings of minor royals.

The script’s a dud: Antipodes at the Dorfman Theatre reviewed

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The Antipodes, by the acclaimed dramatist Annie Baker, is set in a Hollywood writers’ room. Seven hired scribblers are brainstorming a new animated feature under the direction of a mysterious, bearded multimillionaire, Sandy, who seems thoroughly bored with the movie-making process. The script is in its early stages and Sandy decrees that the central character must be a monster. That’s all. The writers can fill in the details. He asks them to indulge in a free-association experiment by describing their first sexual encounter or the scariest moment in their lives. Long speeches follow. Very long, some of them. Sandy loses interest in the project, not surprisingly, and starts to absent himself from the room. The writers toil on, chatting and wittering.

Why the Royal Court is theatre’s answer to Islamic State

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The Royal Court is the theatre’s answer to Islamic State, a conspiracy of nihilists fascinated with death, supported by groups of self-flagellating puritans, and committed to inflicting pain on all who stray into its orbit. The latest fatwa from Sloane Square concerns the imminent demise of the Welsh language — an emergency for which there seems to be scant evidence. On Bear Ridge by Ed Thomas proclaims its amateurish origins with stage directions that belong in Pseuds Corner. ‘Spindly winter branches dance on a fading sign,’ is Thomas’s attempt to create a ghostly mood. The setting is a derelict village shop where ‘ancient bluebottles cling to death on sticky brown fly-catching strips’.

Little Britain’s Brexit special was hardly comedy gold

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Little Britain is a sketch-show whose cast of grotesque characters give audiences permission to laugh at obesity, disability, cross-dressing and a host of other human frailties. The creators Matt Lucas and David Walliams on Thursday night delivered a one-off special about Brexit for Radio 4. ‘Little Brexit’ opened with the show’s narrator, Tom Baker, using irony like a blunt weapon. ‘Brexit has united the country as never before.’ Some jokes – like the quip about our economy receiving a boost from scared shoppers stockpiling food – felt pretty ancient. Ditto Matt Lucas’s brief cameo as Boris explaining how he reached Number 10. ‘We asked a handful of men who live in Tunbridge Wells who should be prime minister, and they said me.

A surefire international hit: Lungs reviewed

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No power on earth can stop Lungs from becoming an international hit. Duncan Macmillan’s slick two-handed comedy reunites Matt Smith and Claire Foy from The Crown. It’s short (90 mins), it has a minimalist set (‘arty’), and it makes no intellectual demands on the crowd (phew!). Best of all, it parrots all the ecological prejudices currently supported by today’s urban bourgeoisie. Matt and Claire play a broody couple who fear that having a child will destroy the planet and kill billions of their fellow earthlings. Their voluble anxieties persist for 40 minutes and become a little tiresome for those blessed with long memories.

John Bercow wasn’t the only one crying at his final PMQs

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John Bercow, at his last ever PMQs, heard tributes from all sides of the house. ‘Best speaker I’ve seen,’ said veteran Ronnie Campbell. ‘You have stood up for democracy,’ oozed the SNP’s Ian Blackford. Tory Nigel Evans: ‘No one has done more to promote LGBT rights than you. I salute you.’ And he dipped his head like a nun honouring a marble Virgin. Jeremy Corbyn managed a dig at the Speaker’s self-regard. ‘I hope you’ll indulge me one moment while I say a word about you.’ He paused. ‘I’m sure you will.’ The best tribute came from Boris whose playfully ironic speech contained a charge-sheet of near-criminal acts.

A 90-minute slog up to a dazzling peak: ‘Master Harold’… and the boys reviewed

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Athol Fugard likes to dump his characters in settings with no dramatic thrust or tension. A prison yard is a favourite. He specialises in bored, talkative characters who squirt the time away swapping memories and indulging in bursts of creative play-acting. It’s dull to watch but good fun to perform. Thesps love to step out of character and road-test a range of fictional personalities. ‘Master Harold’… and the boys is classic Fugard. We’re in an empty restaurant in South Africa in 1950. Lunch service has ended. Two waiters twiddle away the afternoon discussing sex, ballroom dancing and beating women (as if this were a standard feature of male behaviour). Enter the boss’s school-age son, Hally, whom both waiters know well.

Boris Johnson’s half lap of honour

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It was a semi-victory. A partial triumph. A success with many strings attached. Yesterday the House finally approved a Brexit deal but prevented itself from passing it into law. Today Boris took half a lap of honour at PMQs. He was keen to trumpet his achievement. ‘It’s remarkable that so many Members were able to come together and approve the Second Reading.’ ‘Alas,' he went on, ‘the House willed the end but not the means’. Jeremy Corbyn quoted a statement made by Boris a year ago that customs checks might ‘damage the fabric of the Union.’ Boris called Corbyn a terrorist-hugging hypocrite.

The pantomime of the People’s Vote protest

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Parliament Square was rammed by lunchtime on Saturday. Whistles tooted. Blue flags fluttered in the breeze. An entrepreneur outside Westminster tube station was selling ‘Dump on Trump’ loo paper for £3 a roll. Many Remainers were draped in EU flags. Others wore floppy azure berets bejazzled with golden stars. A vegetarian chef doled out plates of curry for free, and a female choir delivered a burst of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy, the EU’s official ditty. Collies and spaniels scampered about sporting dog-coats that urged us to hold a ‘People’s Vote Now’. A witty sausage dog wore a tummy-warmer with the legend, ‘Brexit is the wurst’. Everyone in the crowd seemed buoyant and jolly.

A hoot from start to finish: The Man in the White Suit reviewed

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The Man in the White Suit, famously, is a yarn about yarn. A brilliant young boffin stumbles across an everlasting polymer thread but when he tries to profit from his discovery he faces unexpected ruin. There are only three beats in the story — breakthrough, triumph, disaster — so it needs to be elaborated with some skill. Writer/director Sean Foley does a superb job of making the gaps unnoticeable. He aims for the farcical texture of a pantomime and he opens the story in a cheery northern pub where working-class men and women sit around as equals, sharing pints of ale. Rather a fanciful view of 1950s England but never mind. We move to the factory where Sidney, a clumsy Cambridge graduate, muddles his way through various madcap experiments.

Could Boris Johnson win an election but lose his seat?

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Is Boris safe in Uxbridge? The Lib Dems have an eye on the Prime Minister's 5000 vote majority and their candidate, Dr Liz Evenden-Kenyon, hopes to dislodge him at the general election. But she needs help. With the support of a new formation, Renew UK, she plans to ‘kick Johnson out of Uxbridge’. I went to a ‘meet and greet’ outside the tube station at the weekend only to find that the campaigners had packed up half an hour before the event was due to end. Perhaps it’s no surprise they hadn’t taken Uxbridge by storm. A Facebook announcement posted on 8 October had been shared just five times. My attempts to contact ‘Dr Liz’, (as she styles herself), drew a blank. So I plodded around in the drizzle accosting random strangers.