Lloyd Evans

LBC broadcaster Iain Dale has transformed his Edinburgh festival shows into a series of Zoom-casts. First up, David Davis. The former Brexit secretary had arranged his web-cam in a study lined with scarlet law-books. A few hours earlier, he said, he’d completed a seven-mile jog. He’s 71. Davis began by criticising the government over the corona-shambles. Last winter the World Health Organisation had rated Britain ‘top of the league in its preparedness’ for a flu pandemic. But the implementation of the plans had been disastrous. The biggest single error was the failure on testing. It was over-centralised. We were over-proud of our test-approach. Had we done what the Koreans or Germans had done, many thousands would still be alive today.

There was an urgent question about jobs at PMQs today. One job in particular. The questioner, Maria Miller, was concerned that she hadn’t yet been hired to head a government department. She made her bid for promotion by strewing petals and scented bouquets at Boris’s feet. She reminded us that on Friday, 24 July, the nation will celebrate the first anniversary of his outstanding leadership. She hailed his genius as a recruiter of cops and nurses. She extolled his mission to tackle ‘the regional inequalities we still have in this country’. And she described his feelgood phrase, ‘levelling up’, as a ‘vision’ which, she hoped, would guide him ‘through every year of his premiership.’ This was close to religious ecstasy.

There’s talk of reparations in the air. Lobbyists from around the world are demanding sin-payments from former colonial powers. Let me add my voice to the clamour on behalf of this island’s indigenous Celtic people. My family are from Llanelli in Carmarthenshire and I believe that my compatriots have an excellent case to make against the Roman empire. This is not an extinct claim – the money is still in play. Britain was invaded by Julius Caesar in 55 BC and his visit was followed up a century later by the Emperor Claudius and his mob. The Roman occupation, which involved the military subjection of the Celtic peoples, lasted for about four centuries.

Keir-mania. Is it possible? Can we imagine it? Stadiums full of besotted voters chanting his name in frenzies of adoration. ‘Star-Muh! Star-Muh!’ No. Never going to happen. Sir Keir tinkled his way through his six questions at PMQs hoping to trip up the PM. Instead he put his own weaknesses in the spotlight. Far from being the ice-cool super-inquisitor, Sir Keir turns out to be thin-skinned and tantrum-prone. Boris enjoys tormenting him. When challenged, Boris likes to accuse the Labour leader of unpatriotic hypocrisy. Today, Sir Keir took the bait. When he criticised the government’s job retention scheme, Boris described his approach as disingenuous. ‘He has to work out whether he’s going to support or oppose the government’s programme.

Rishi Sunak made his summer statement this afternoon. The chancellor is never less than immaculately turned out. Skinny blue suit, coiffed hair, silver-grey tie gathered in a discreet knot, a white shirt that glowed like a snow-capped peak at noon. And he oozed board-room competence. One half expected the lights in the Commons to fall and a screen to be unrolled for a Powerpoint presentation. He draws his rhetoric from many sources. In today’s speech we got a hint of Thatcher: ‘I believe in the nobility of work. I believe in the inspiring power of opportunity.’ We heard a reminder of Blair:  ‘I am not dogmatic. I believe in what works.’ There was a faint echo of Churchill:  ‘Hardship lies ahead but no one will be left without hope.

Today the prime minister tried out his ‘spoonful of sugar’ routine. Boris has decided that no political problem exists that can’t be solved with a dose of bonhomie, a chorus of ‘build, build, build’, and a £600 billion bung to rocket-boost the economy. This ramshackle strategy was all he brought to PMQs. Against him Sir Keir Starmer was keen to display his world-class mastery of detail. The king of the quibblers was on top form. At least by his own standards. His goal was to blame the PM for the heatwave that recently brought thousands of super-spreaders to Bournemouth beach. Having sleuthed his way through Boris’s recent utterances he found a phrase, ‘show some guts’, issued to authorities in seaside towns.

Barristers say there are two types of performers in court. The rhinos use brash, crude, overpowering blows. The snakes are subtle, unpredictable and deadly. Today at PMQs, the two beasts met. Boris came out of the jungle at full charge. ‘I think the honourable gentleman has been stunned by the success of the test and trace operation,’ he bellowed. He was responding to Sir Keir Starmer’s criticism of the government’s testing regime. ‘Contrary to his prognostications of gloom,’ Boris went on, ‘it has got up and running much faster than expected.’ Sir Keir, all serpentine cunning, asked him about the failure of the app to trace every relevant contact. Boris thrashed and snorted. Starmer's certainly a class act.

A testy, ill-tempered PMQs. Sir Keir Starmer began by welcoming the anti-viral breakthrough achieved by British scientists. He got an instant slap-down. ‘I’m glad he’s finally paying tribute to the efforts of this country in tackling the coronavirus,’ said Boris, finding Sir Keir guilty of anti-British sentiment. The PM was road-testing a new jingoistic approach today. He believes his handling of the pandemic is the greatest achievement since the invention of the steam engine. And the furlough is the jewel in this glorious crown. ‘Eleven million jobs protected by a scheme unlike anything anywhere else in world!’ he enthused. Perhaps Sir Keir would be asked to ‘take a knee’ for the job retention programme.