Kara Kennedy

Prince Harry has bared his soul in explosive interviews for the publicity of his upcoming memoir, Spare. Just kidding. Naturally Humdrum Haz is droning on about the same obscure claims he and his wife have been recycling for the past two years. The evil "institution," the big bad press and the mystic royal "they," who seems to be a nonbinary Illuminati-like figure pulling the strings of the entire British Isles. This time, with ITV’s Tom Bradby, the Duke claimed, “I would like to get my father back. I would like to have my brother back.” Who could possibly imagine why King Charles and Prince William might want to keep Harry at arm's length? Anyone? "It never needed to be this way," the prince said. He wanted a family, not an institution!

It was no surprise that Prince Harry and Meghan were absent from Britain's royal Christmas celebrations at Sandringham after their recent outbursts. Their Netflix documentary cemented what we already knew: there is no going back. Instead, the pair opted for a Californian Christmas. Away from the pomp and pageantry of the royal family’s traditions, the day was described as low-key, choosing to spend their days playing games like "pin the tail on the Catherine" and throwing darts at King Charles’s face. I’m kidding, they’re far too mature for that. In Britain, we saw a family in unity. Even Prince Andrew attended the Christmas Day church service at St. Mary Magdalene and, somehow, was received well by crowds.

Their ranks may be dwindling, but Mr. and Mrs. Meghan Markle do have a few key supporters left on the other side of the Pond. What their fabulously rehearsed "fly-on-the-wall" documentary set in stone is who was gone for good: Wills and Kate. The poor Waleses were absolutely slandered. In fact, the only realistic thing about the whole show was the visceral hatred the Sussexes had for the pair. Harry despises his big brother almost as much as Jeremy Clarkson hates Meghan, and would certainly see him strung up in the streets, but of course, you can’t print that in Britain. Team Windsor may be pretty strong in numbers, but the "we-just-want-to-be-normal-but-don’t-you-dare-forget-the-title" team do have two major players: the Princesses of York.

Ladies and gentlemen, that’s a wrap. The last leg of Meghan and Harry’s docuseries aired Thursday, where we learned about institutionalized gaslighting, how terrified Harry is of big, bad Prince William and what Beyoncé thinks about the whole saga, obviously. The final three episodes, admittedly, were the bombshell some hoped for. Harry and Meghan’s usual approach of accusing nameless figures of terrible acts went out the window. Prince William was the villain, King Charles didn’t come off much better. Hell, they even threw in some sly digs at the late Queen. For many Brits, this is a cardinal sin. Apparently, we're done. All over. H tells us that finally: it’s time to move on.

Tolerance for Meghan and Harry is wearing thin across the Pond. That’s saying something, because there was little tolerance to begin with. But after the latest trailer of their Netflix documentary was released online, even the staunchest Sussex fans are feeling fed up. However you feel about the pair, their latest theatrics have opened them up for criticism. The trailer, which has been drip-fed over the last week is, in true Sussex style, chock full of inaccuracies that they must deem the British public too stupid to notice. https://twitter.

London, England When I checked the date that Boris Johnson resigned as prime minister, I thought it must have been wrong. July? The psychodrama that ensued felt as if it had been going on for years. If Boris’s tenure was the main show, Liz Truss’s stint as Britain's shortest-serving PM was the slapdash encore that no one asked for. You know, when the music restarts as you’re eyeing up a taxi home and secretly thinking the act needn’t have bothered. Boris’s downfall, the real one — not the multiple wobbles — began with Partygate. A steady drip of salacious stories for months, each one getting slightly more unforgivable, recounting incidences of Boris and members of his government breaching the strict lockdown rules he himself had set in place.

London, England Nobody in British politics really thought things could get worse than last night. Conservative MP Charles Walker told the BBC that the day was a "pitiful reflection" of the party; he added that there was "no coming back from it." Seasoned political editors described Wednesday as the most catastrophic day of their careers. The government victory on fracking — with 326 votes opposing the Labour motion to 230 backing it — was tarnished by claims of intimidation and bullying in the House of Commons. The home secretary, Suella Braverman was fired for sending official documents from her personal phone, something which is likely now a relief for her. Two other figures were said to have quit, but remained in their posts when questioned twelve hours later.