Chadwick Moore

Rise of the dimwit vodka dumpers

From our US edition

Passive news absorbers across the nation haven’t been able to avoid this thing they heard about some guy named Poutine, who’s, like, Russia’s Orange Man, invading Ukraine, which is, like, a peaceful society of hunter-gatherers and supermodels who live harmoniously with nature, talk to animals, and invented Democracy. This is a super important, really bad thing. The Crane people have been forced to take up arms and defend their way of life. Now, Americans across social media are also stepping up to let you Cranes know they’re paying attention, they care, and they’re ready to strike back at the invaders. Yellow and blue are this season’s black square.

Sam Brinton and the dorkification of kink

From our US edition

Remember when gay people were cool? Libertines and romantics, reviled, spat-upon, defiant and irreverent? Gay life could be sexy and thrilling, tragic and shameful. If the homosexual offered nothing else, he carried an arsenal of bawdy tales that left any housewife glued and dithering at a cocktail party. Judge his life as you may, but never call it ordinary. The mystique is gone. That dusky boundary between the dark and dirty and the workaday has evaporated. Assimilation has meant the faces of gay are either vapid, Instagram-famous semen receptacles, complete goobers or repulsive shrills. And they’ve dragged the rest of us, by association, into their orbit of cringe. The Forces of Biden particularly love the latter two.

sam brinton

Big Tech covers up Biden’s crack pipe giveaway

From our US edition

A throwaway line item in an otherwise innocuous spending package unveiled one way the Biden administration and the Democratic party sees "racial equity." The Washington Free Beacon revealed a week ago that the Department of Health and Human Services would be distributing free crack pipes to drug users to promote hygiene and advance racial equity. The cost was around $30 million and the program is similar to what left-wing fiefdoms like Seattle and San Francisco already do. The story had all the elements of tabloid gold — even better in clickability than the last Biden crack pipe story: Hunter’s laptop.

crack pipe

No love for the gays at the Beijing Winter Olympics

From our US edition

The nights are about to get a lot colder for men’s figure skaters at the Winter Games. Gay hookup app Grindr was removed from app stores in China this month just ahead of the 2022 Olympics in Beijing. Olympians are famously hot to trot. As far back as 1988, the International Olympic Committee banned outdoor sex after condoms were found littering the rooftops of the Olympic Village in Seoul. Complimentary condoms remained a staple at the Games, reaching a record at Rio in 2016 where 450,000 "little shirts," as they’re called in local slang, were supplied to the Olympic Village — that’s forty-two per athlete.

grindr

Goodbye Bill de Blasio, New York-hating communist

From our US edition

At the stroke of midnight on January 1, Bill de Blasio — New York’s bumbling, mildly sinister but profoundly incompetent mayor — got laughed out of office as his second term came to an end. Don’t let the door hit ya, the city collectively sneered...despite voting for the man twice. The new administration couldn’t even wait until morning to flip the official @NYCMayor Twitter account. One minute after midnight, it changed all its pictures over to ones of Eric Adams, before the man had even been officially sworn in. An image of the smiling new mayor loomed over de Blasio’s final message: a photo of he and his wife walking in shadow down a long hallway with their backs turned on a city they abandoned long ago.

bill de blasio

Who’s afraid of Omicron?

From our US edition

So, you got a cold. It happens around this time every year, to almost everyone. You got the sniffles, your head is a little foggy, you have an occasional sneeze, there’s some persistent phlegm lingering in the back of your throat. It’s mildly annoying, and you’re reminded this is bound to happen at least once every winter, and life goes on as normal but with a few more tissues in your pocket. Give it three days, a week max. Maybe you take some over-the-counter medicine, have chicken soup for lunch, sleep next to a humidifier. Upon greeting friends or coworkers, you politely decline a handshake or hug. “Sorry, I’ve got a cold,” you tell them — and they appreciate your consideration. “Oh, I just got over that,” one might say, “something’s going around.

omicron

I took Hillary Clinton’s Masterclass in ‘resilience’

From our US edition

At some point near the one-hour mark, wooziness strikes. It’s that voice, that shrill drone. You can only take so much before the mind constricts and the room spins into a hall of mirrors. You’ve got to get out, go for a walk, get some fresh air, because there’s still two more hours left of Hillary Clinton’s Masterclass, titled “The Power of Resilience,” and we’re still unsure if anyone has yet managed to hobble across the finish line. We love resilience — but as a quality, not a lifestyle. Hillary fits the latter.

masterclass resilience

Bill Maher is not your ally

From our US edition

On Friday night’s season finale of his weekly HBO chat show Real Time, Bill Maher encouraged Democrats to recruit a “messaging czar.” They need someone to point their party in the right direction, he insisted. “Vote Democrat because white people suck” isn’t working, Maher said. “I’d say, do the math, but math is a form of white supremacy,” he went on. Why do Democrats seem out of touch? Because “no one likes a snob” and “your microaggression culture doesn’t play well in the Rust Belt.” With each dig at the left — which, for conservative viewers, amounted to little more than tired memes and stale culture war ephemera — Maher’s audience erupted in applause.

bill maher

The mask caste system

From our US edition

Visitors to New York tell me how surprised they are to see so few masked up people on the streets. But a sizable portion of the NYC population isn’t letting go of the disgusting, soggy, disease vectors strapped to their faces — and they never will. This set aren’t true-believers in the still-unproven effectiveness of masks; for them, it’s both an identity and psychological disorder. On the streets of any city, the forever-masked are broadcasting their allegiance to authoritarianism, letting you know they’re most comfortable somewhere on a hierarchy of coercion, whether among the hopelessly obedient, or tyrants themselves. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. You now have a visual cue letting you know exactly who you’re dealing with and who to avoid.

mask caste

Smug vegan Eric Adams phones it in

From our US edition

Crime is the biggest issue in the New York mayor’s race, according to both candidates and the moderators of Tuesday night’s debate. No one bothered to pretend the current mayor, Bill de Blasio, has been anything other than a complete disaster. In just seven years, de Blasio turned the safest big city in America into a vast, lawless, festering homeless shelter. His successor apparent, Eric Adams, is a former police officer and the current Brooklyn borough president. New Yorkers mostly put up with the decline of their city, not wanting to acknowledge the failures of their aloof, ruling monoparty.

eric adams

Why trigger warnings don’t work

From our US edition

The science is in, but don’t expect that to change anything. According to at least 17 recent studies, trigger warnings — those advisories posted ahead of content some readers may find distressing — not only fail to alleviate suffering in the emotionally disturbed but may actually induce greater trauma in those individuals. There are, to date, no studies that indicate trigger warnings work to their intended purpose. They were dreamed up in the 1970s after psychologists began to diagnose a new condition, post-traumatic stress disorder, in Vietnam War vets. But trigger warnings only reached popular consciousness in the 2010s, when feminist blogs used them ahead of content about sexual violence.

trigger

Man of Sssssssteel

From our US edition

So — Superman has come out. He’s gay. I know, stop the presses, another figure of the comic book universe is being stripped of his straight, white, maleness and tossed into the volcano of intersectionality. It’s about as edgy and groundbreaking as a consumer-product survey. I was less surprised to learn Superman was getting pinkwashed than I was to find out Superman isn’t Superman anymore. There’s a new Superman, apparently, and it’s Clark Kent and Lois Lane’s son, Jonathan Kent. According to DC Comics sometime this month he’s going to kiss a dude and, poof, be gay, or bisexual, or whatever. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a pillow-biter! What it isn’t is believable. I mean, have you met any of us gay men?

superman

If the Croc fits

From our US edition

'I don’t get Brooklyn fashion,’ an out-of-towner said the other day. We were brunching at a French restaurant on Williamsburg’s Bedford Avenue, and eyeing a couple by the door — she dressed in faded black pipe-leg men’s jeans crudely cut off at the ankles above a pair of two-inch granny heels, he in a stained and tattered, burnt-orange Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt draped like a cobweb on his skeletal frame. ‘It’s all about looking as shitty as possible,’ I told the tourist. ‘They like to blur the lines between the guy who just crapped his pants shooting up on the corner and having $200,000 in art school debt.’ In my youth I too was a thrift-store aficionado. I loved the hunt, digging around for the amusing, exquisite, old and odd.

crocs

AOC is a hot glue-gun mess

From our US edition

I get what socialist congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez thought she was doing. She shows up to the Met Gala, the glitziest event of the year, where tickets are upwards of $30,000 and a table can run nearly a quarter of a million bucks, wearing a white dress with the words ‘Tax the Rich’ scrawled along the back. How cute, she thinks she’s trolling, you know, like the kids do. Except none of the kids on her side are any good at it. AOC, their leader, also proved Monday evening she doesn’t understand how a joke works. That put her in good company. Increasingly like the pop stars and celebrities she spent the evening hobnobbing alongside, her dress stunt showed she, too, bleeds tedium. Take, for example, a comparable incident from last week.

aoc

In praise of flight attendants

From our US edition

Well past the golden age of flying they remain magnetic. With impeccable hair, orderly posture and chipper uniform, they breeze by you through security, march in little flocks down the terminal, gaze into computer screens in which no one has ever seen the other side and always greet you with suspicion and a smile. Their authority is daubed in mystery, intrigue and just a little bit of sex. Where are they going? Where have they been? No matter how many times you might ask, you can never quite grasp, exactly, what their lives are like. Where do they sleep? What do they do when they’re not here? How do they cope with this, that, or the other?

flight attendants

Let’s be honest about birthing people

From our US edition

Thrusting women who identify as men and then have babies into the spotlight has been a strange priority during the first few months of Biden’s America. Just three days before Mother’s Day, Rep. Cori Bush, a Democrat from Missouri, sent Twitter ablaze while testifying before the Democratic Oversight Committee on some conspiracy theory called the 'Black [sic] maternal health crisis’. The crisis, it turns out, isn’t that community’s abortion epidemic but the country’s legion of racist OB/GYNs, apparently. ‘Every day, Black [sic] birthing people and our babies die because our doctors don't believe our pain. My children almost became a statistic. I almost became a statistic,’ Bush wrote on Twitter ahead of her video testimony.

birthing people

Democrats: OK, now crime is a problem

From our US edition

The New York City mayoral race is split between two factions of Democrats: those who cut a tempered figure offering government solutions to the nightmares their own party created and stoked over the last year — and the kooky true-believers with the thousand-yard stare who continue to preach fire and damnation. The current, term-limited mayor, Bill de Blasio, belongs to the latter camp, though most of his fire dances not from brimstone but just above the slide of a bong. His ideological successor, race-hustling civil rights lawyer Maya ‘Defund the Police’ Wiley, who was recently endorsed by her sister-from-another-mister in Congress, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, isn’t doing so great in the most recent polling, though still rounds out the top four.

crime

God loves flags, apparently

From our US edition

When it comes to former president Trump and the gays, one of the innumerable enduring myths perpetrated by media claims he banned US embassies from flying the rainbow gay Pride flag during the month of June. This lie is a personal favorite as a radiant example of the media’s pettiness during the Trump years and the degree to which they’ll just make something up or, at the very least, refuse to conduct the tiniest bit of due diligence to fact-check a falsehood they want so badly to be true. Here’s what really happened: in 2019, of the 307 US embassies, consulates, and diplomatic missions around the world, three requested to fly the rainbow gay Pride flag during the month of June.

flags

In defense of fat-shaming

From our US edition

Your business may have closed, your kids still aren’t in school, nana hasn’t had a hug in 18 months, and your uncle drank himself to death from the crippling isolation — but the real tragedy of the COVID-19 pandemic is that the luckless fats are feeling stigmatized again. Over the weekend the Los Angeles Times detailed the tearful struggle of being grotesquely obese in the age of COVID-19. ‘Chrystal Bougon cried after the needle went into her arm. Not because her first dose of the Moderna vaccine hurt. But because, finally, being fat actually paid off,’ the article begins. ‘Her experience with medical providers has been one incident of size stigma after another, she said, like the time she went in with a scratched cornea and was told to lose weight.

fat america

Shame won’t make you quit smoking. Love might

From our US edition

My first memory of my Aunt Mary involves a rattlesnake and a meat cleaver. I was maybe seven years old when my cousins and I found the rattlesnake near a stack of cardboard boxes in her garage. It was barely 9 a.m. and we ran inside to find her already in full makeup and a silk housecoat, a cigarette dangling from her lips. She grabbed the cleaver and walked up to the recoiling viper — as entranced by her severe face and big red hair as we were — and chopped its head off with a nimble clank. ‘Wait till it stops wigglin’, then go toss it over yonder,’ she said through a cloud of smoke, and motioned toward an embankment at the end of the driveway. My last memory is from a little over a decade later.

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