Brendan O’Neill

Pakistan is laughing at us. Over the past three years, they’ve deported a staggering 2.4 million Afghans. It was one of the largest expulsions of human beings in history. Yet when we ask Pakistan if they will please take back one poxy bloke, they say “Nope”. They are allowed to kick out undesirables, you see, but we are not. Already Guardianista voices are being raised to say it would be “problematic” to tweak Britain’s laws The case of Shabir Ahmed, the Rochdale rape-gang leader let out of jail this month, gets more enraging every day. Pakistan is now flat-out refusing to take back its criminal citizen. In my eyes that is an act of hostility, and it should be treated as such by our government.

So now we have two-tier grieving. Progressives are allowed to mourn lost colleagues, but populists are not. How else to explain the media mauling of Nigel Farage merely for venting his sorrow over the death of Ann Widdecombe? He’s been branded a pantomime mourner, a death exploiter, a weeper of insincere tears. It’s been obscene, and frankly cruel. When Farage lays a wreath and voices his fear of violence, he’s tarred as a death-supping opportunist Even by the standards of the Farage Derangement Syndrome that’s been gathering pace these past few weeks, the attacks on him for lamenting the killing of a colleague have been mad. He’s “exploiting” her death for “political propaganda”, howls the leftish press.

So this is what people mean when they say “Uniparty”. They mean supposed rivals reading from the same corporate script. They mean political parties behaving more like a cartel than separate democratic entities. They mean parties abandoning even the pretense of competition in order to hunt in a pack. That’s what I see in the political class’s haughty refusal to stand in Clacton – an act of sinister collectivism that grates against every principle of democracy. The chattering classes are having a good old laugh at Nigel Farage The chattering classes are having a good old laugh at Nigel Farage. His triggering of a by-election in his own constituency of Clacton has descended into “farce”, they crow.

Someone shouting “Fuck you, Jews”. Another telling the Jews they’re baby-killers. A man suggesting the Jews should “go back” to their homeland. A bloke telling Jews they’re “the most hated people in the world”. Where did this verbal mauling of Jews occur? At a neo-Nazi parade, perhaps? Actually it was at Pride in London. Yes, the Pride parade on Saturday was scarred by what the Metropolitan Police are calling “anti-Semitic verbal abuse”. The rainbow-coloured shindig that claims to be all about “tolerance” was shockingly intolerant of Jews. Pride London will show that “love always triumphs over hate”, said London mayor Sadiq Khan. Tell that to the gay Jews who were subjected to gross outbursts of hateful invective.

When does a crime against the individual become an assault on an entire nation? This is the harrowing question at the heart of the Riad Bouchaker case in Ireland. Found guilty this week of despicable violence against young children, Bouchaker did more than shatter innocent lives – his act of barbarism felt like a hate crime against Ireland itself. Bouchaker is a 52-year-old Algerian national. He had been living in Ireland for 20 years. On 23 November 2023, armed with a foot-long kitchen knife, he carried out a frenzied attack at an after-school crèche in Parnell Square in Dublin. In a flash of monstrous violence, he stabbed three children, leaving one girl with permanent brain damage. He also stabbed childcare worker Leanne Flynn, who heroically shielded the kids with her body.

Finally we have an answer to the question: ‘How popular is Rupert Lowe’s party Restore?’ The answer is: ‘Less popular than the BNP.’ Despite swarming Makerfield with aggy canvassers barking ‘Nigel Farage is controlled opposition’, the party won just 6.8 percent of the vote. Back in the 2010 general election the oafish BNP got 7.4 per cent in Makerfield. Oh dear. Taxi for Rupert. Back to your cushy pad down south, sir. That’s what happened to Restore in Makerfield: the collective hallucinations of the very online right crashed against the normalcy and decency of working-class Britain The self-delusion of Restore’s digital minions felt almost malarial. Every day they made ever more feverish predictions about their imminent ascension to power.

I see Jerry Seinfeld has got the pompous left sobbing into their keffiyehs. His sin? He refused to buckle to their neo-religious mantra ‘Free Palestine’. The comedy legend was accosted by a YouTuber outside Madison Square Gardens in NYC last week. ‘Free Palestine’ feels like a jeer designed to taunt Jews “Can we get a ‘Free Palestine’?”, the streamer asked as he shoved his mic towards Seinfeld’s gob. Seinfeld smirked. He held his tongue. No ‘Free Palestine’ passed his lips. It gets better. He then proceeded to shut down his chirpy interrogator with three words. “It doesn’t exist”, he said. He was talking about Palestine. Cue fury from the Gazaholics. This was “racist rhetoric”, cried the cranks at the Council on American-Islamic Relations.

So ‘Sophie of Dundee’ has been vindicated. The Scots girl who was so sickeningly defamed by the digital left stands exonerated. ‘Liars!’, cried creeps across the internet when the girl and her friends said they had no choice but to defend themselves from a foul-mouthed, abusive migrant male. Yet now we know they were telling the truth. Others insulted the girls. Armies of haters said it was ‘Sophie’ who was the brute. They called her a chav The image of this girl that went viral really was extraordinary. The events took place on a street in Dundee in August 2025. A grainy still from smartphone footage showed one of the girls holding up a knife and an axe. Her face is etched with terror. This was clearly a child in distress.

How would you describe a culture where women are flogged in public for ‘inappropriate dress’? A culture where one woman suffered 40 lashes from a leather whip for the crime of wearing trousers and a T-shirt? A culture where a man who lies with a man risks being whipped a hundred times before being put in a dank cell for five years? A culture where apostasy is considered such an abominable sin that even a heavily pregnant woman could be sentenced to death for supposedly committing it? The good people of Belfast are well within their rights to ask whether men from such a culture should be living on their streets Personally, I would call such a culture ‘alien’.

I see that the people who took the knee and tore down statues after a man was killed 4,000 miles away from Britain are now yelping ‘Don’t politicise Henry Nowak’s death’. The same leftists who poured onto the streets to rage over the death of George Floyd are barking at the rest of us not to rage over the death of young Henry. Got that? Fury over Floyd – good. Rage over Nowak – don’t even think about it ‘Don’t stir up tensions’, says an activist class which in that heady summer of 2020 happily hurled missiles at British cops and danced like Taliban-lite loons on a monument to a slave trader they’d just toppled. What a festival of cant we have endured since the conviction of Vickrum Digwa for his savage slaying of Nowak.

Zack Polanski is fuming over the Home Secretary’s decision to ban two internet-famous Israel haters from the UK. It’s ‘really grim’, he says of the exclusion from our shores of the leftist blowhards Hasan Piker and Cenk Uygur. It will drag us further down the ‘dangerous road’ of tyranny, he cries. Hold on. Is this the same Zack Polanski who supported the arrest of Graham Linehan by literal armed cops for the crime of cracking a joke? The left paved the way for the exclusion of Piker and Uygur by so egregiously failing to defend the right to speak Why, yes it is. Polanski’s love of the liberty to utter was nowhere to be seen in September. Back then he was waving his pom poms over the cornering of a funnyman by five armed officers at Heathrow Airport.

At first glance, the youth wings of Restore Britain and the Green party would appear to have little in common. The former are angry, undersexed videogamers who only take a break from playing Rome: Total War to type ‘DEPORT’ under viral clips of black kids fighting. The latter are tree-huggers turned ‘Queers for Palestine’ who never leave the house without a culturally appropriated keffiyeh round their necks and the latest Sally Rooney in their Daunt Books tote bag.  Restore Britain – the edgelord party led by bitter ex-Reformer, Rupert Lowe – is in the news over some of the iffy views in its ranks Yet there’s something that binds these clashing tribes together – a hyper-suspicion of the Jewish state and in some cases the Jewish people.

If you heard that a man was thinking about selling his seven-year-old daughter into marriage or domestic servitude, who would you feel sorry for? The dad or the girl? The man treating his own child as property to be traded for cash, or his daughter, the innocent made into chattel for gross creeps to barter over so that they might secure themselves a child bride? All normal people would say the daughter. Of course we would. Not the BBC, though. Our public broadcaster has told precisely this horror story, only it paints the men selling their daughters as the victims, not the girls who are being sold.

The good people of Makerfield have the potential to do the funniest thing. It is in their gift to unleash the most hilarious chaos. With one swipe of their pen they could wipe the smirk off the face of every centrist-dad podcaster and leave the smug scribes of the leftish media scratching their heads in mournful bewilderment. All they have to do is vote Reform in the upcoming by-election. They’re not dumb. They know the home he’s really eyeing up is Downing Street Just picture it. In swoops Andy Burnham, their supposed King of the North, hoping to be crowned King of Labour too, but then the citizens of Makerfield say: ‘Nah, you’re all right.’ They have the power to block a coronation, to send the anointed golden boy of the SW1 left packing. It would be glorious.

What’s weirder: asking if a woman can have a penis or being so flummoxed by such a simple query that you start to stutter and sweat and flat-out refuse to answer? It’s the latter, isn’t it? To most normal people out there, the loon isn’t the person who would like to know if you understand primary-school biology – it’s the person who quite clearly does not. The one word that didn’t leave her lips is the one most five-year-olds would gleefully cry if this question were put to them: ‘NO!’ Consider the mad clash between Piers Morgan and Rachel Millward, co-deputy leader of the Green Party. On Question Time last week, Morgan, on one of his delicious wind-ups, asked Millward if a woman can have a penis.

Campus lefties love shouting ‘BIGOT’ at people they disagree with. Anyone who has ever been rounded on by mobs of meat-dodging students hoarsely barking ‘hate speaker!’ because you once humbly suggested men should stay out of women’s bathrooms will know how irritating and comical such activism can be. Now, though, we have the perfect comeback for these silver-spoon irritants: ‘Wait, didn’t you vote for the Green party?’ I’m happy to take flak from all sorts of people. It comes with the territory of being an opinion writer.