Alexander Larman

Britain has received many things from America that we have little reason to be grateful for: Black Lives Matter, Instagram, the word ‘gotten’ – and the brief and unlovely period that Meghan Markle was a resident of this country. Yet one of the most enduring American imports is something that we no longer much notice: the drive-through – or ‘drive-thru’ – restaurant. The all-American tradition of stuffing yourself with burgers and fries while sitting in the comfort of your car is here to stay. Thanks, America There are now over 2,600 drive-thrus in Britain. A good number, of course, are McDonald’s – 1080, to be exact – but such is the growing allure of the drive-thru that others are getting in on the act – not least my beloved Greggs, which has 50 such outlets.

The winner of the contest to design a memorial to the late Elizabeth II has been announced, and it’s not very good. When the shortlist of five designs was unveiled last month, the most striking feature of the various hopefuls was how little they had to say about the much-loved Queen, or the country she ruled over. Instead, they were empty displays of kitsch, with the only halfway palatable one being Tom Stuart-Smith’s design of an oak tree from Windsor Great Park. Had that been picked, I would have shrugged and sighed, but at least it was inoffensive enough.

Well, you can’t say that we weren’t warned. Repeatedly. At the beginning of this week, the Duchess of Sussex wrote in a subscriber newsletter, in that inimitably faux-chummy way that she has perfected: First off, a sincere thank you for making the debut of As Ever absolutely extraordinary. We had a feeling there would be excitement, but to see everything sell out in less than an hour was an amazing surprise. We are pleased to share that on 20 June, we're going live with the products you love – plus, some new delicious surprises.  ‘Absolutely extraordinary’ is one way of describing the profoundly underwhelming launch of a few pieces of overpriced tat.

The announcement, when it came, was a strangely botched one. The official Ascot carriage list had stated at 12 p.m. that the Prince and Princess of Wales would be riding in the second carriage in the royal procession, accompanied by their friends Mr and Mrs Justin Rose. It was already known that Prince William would be presenting the prizes at today’s race meeting, so there was inevitable excitement at his presence and that of his wife. Catherine always brings a touch of glamour to whatever occasion she graces, helped by, of course, the finest couture that money could buy.

The late Brian Wilson, who has died aged 82, once had his songs, which included modern-day classics such as ‘God Only Knows’ and ‘Good Vibrations’, described as 'pocket symphonies to God'. For just about any other artist, such a description would be grandiloquent tosh. Yet in the case of Wilson, who struggled with personal demons that all but consumed him after a brief, brilliant flourish of early success, such praise is entirely justified. It is little wonder that his friend and rival Paul McCartney was inspired to write Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band after hearing the Beach Boys’ masterpiece Pet Sounds for the first time. That album was thrillingly alive to the possibilities of what pop music could be and transformed American culture forever.

Say what you like about the Duchess of Sussex – and I try to  – but she has a knack for coming up with the provocative. While the world is still reeling from the recent video of her twerking (and a thousand thinkpieces solemnly debating exactly whether she has a right to twerk or not), she has returned a few days later with news that is both entirely unexpected and grimly predictable. Meghan is considering parlaying her 'As Ever' lifestyle and homeware range into a series of restaurants and – be still my beating heart – hotels.  Although details of this potential hospitality empire are as yet sketchy, it has been reported that the brand has been trademarked with a view to providing 'hospitality services'.