Alex Massie

Alex Massie

Tuesday

Alex Massie

New Government Ploy: Fat Tests for Pensioners

From our UK edition

Can this really be happening? Everyone aged between 40 and 74 will be called in to their GP for a 'fat test' and prescribed weight management and exercise if they are found to be overweight, under a new Government drive on obesity. Why, god help us, yes it can. And is. How, er, fatuous. The whole piece merits reading for its head-in-hands ghastliness. All thisbeing the case, though, isn't it obvious that this government programme doesn't go far enough? Why wait until people are 40? It's too late then, innit? And why are lardy 75 year olds getting off, er, lightly? Surely they should be "prescribed weight management and exercise" too? In fact, they should be required to spend an hour a day being gently spun around a kind of geriatric gerbil-wheel...

Alex Massie

Headline of the Day | 7 April 2009

From our UK edition

Courtesy of the Scotsman: Boycott rigged poll, says Al-Qaeda chief This would surely come as no surprise to many of the great man's former team-mates, but still, what can this mean? Has Sir Geoffrey been stuffing ballot boxes in some Greatest Yorkshireman contest or something? And why should Al-Qaeda care about that? Has Boycott offended them too? Alas, no, seems it's something to do with the Algerian elections. More important, perhaps, but less mysterious or intriguing.

Monday

Alex Massie

Is Barack Obama good for baseball?

From our UK edition

By which I mean, now that Opening Day is finally here, is he good for the New York Yankees? The evidence suggests he might be. True, Megan McArdle - herself a Yankee in fine standing - warns one to be sceptical about the apparent ease with which a causal relationship may be deduced from a brace of strongly correlated variables but has she considered the startling fact that the last time the Yankees haven't won a World Series title under a Republican president since the Eisenhower administration. In fact fully 19 of the Bronx Bombers' 26 championships have been claimed while a Democratic president sat in power in Washington. George W Bush's tenure in office* coincided with a pretty miserable streak for the Pinstripers.

Alex Massie

Turkey in the EU?

From our UK edition

Like George W Bush, Barack Obama is in favour of Turkish accession to the EU. That's grand, though those American progressives who would like to see europe do more, not less and project a more, not less unified approach to all manner of international issues - be they fiscal or military - should remember that Turkish membership makes a common european policy on just about any issue less, not more likely. For that reason, of course, so-called "euro-sceptics" ought to be enthusiasts for Turkish membership.

Alex Massie

Lie-detector television? Not a bad idea!

From our UK edition

In the midst of an otherwise risible* column on how if it weren't for the BBC license fee all British TV would be as trashy as some of Fox's output, Marina Hyde asks: Have any of these people seen the likes of Moment of Truth, one wondered idly, in which our hero Mike Darnell hooked up semi-witting participants to lie detectors, whereupon they were asked "Do you really care about starving children in Africa?", or questioned about their porn-watching habits? The first of these questions would seem one worth asking Guardian journalists; the second is clearly a matter for the Home Secretary. *Risible because the US TV vs British TV "debate" is ludicrous. Both countries produce some decent programming and tremendous amounts of rubbish.

Sunday

Alex Massie

Barclays vs RBS: A Tale of Luck and Greed

From our UK edition

At the end of the Peter Oborne column James linked to yesterday, Peter writes: I believe that one genuine hero has emerged from the collapse of the British banking system. He is John Varley, the Barclays chief executive who this week proudly announced that his bank would not be taking government money to stay afloat. I admire Varley because he has fought hard to keep one of the greatest names in British banking for more than 300 years independent and out of the hands of the State. It is a hard fight and, who knows, he may yet fail. But at least Varley is doing his best. Fair enough. But it might have been very different had Varley had his way. That is, Barclays might look at what has happened to the Royal Bank of Scotland and shudder "There but for the grace of God, go we".

Saturday

Alex Massie

A song for the weekend

From our UK edition

The super-talented Lisa Hannigan and her band gather in Dick Mac's pub in Dingle, Co Kerry for a charming wee session that is just the ticket for a lovely spring weekend...

Friday

Alex Massie

RBS: All fur coat and no knickers

From our UK edition

Such is the disrepute into which Scotland's once all-conquering bankers have fallen that the favoured put down at Edinburgh dinner parties these days is "My husband pays your husband's salary". A period of silence on the part of these erstwhile Masters of the Universe would be most welcome. This injunction, it seems, also applies to their spouses. That sound you hear is the noise of a righteous middle-class populism. These are disconcerting, humiliating times to be a Scottish banker. Nowhere is this more keenly felt than at the Royal Bank of Scotland's headquarters at Gogarburn on the western outskirts of Edinburgh. RBS's downfall and subsequent nationalisation-in-all-but-formal-name has made it open season on bankers in Scotland's capital.

Thursday

Alex Massie

G20 Photo of the Day

From our UK edition

Photo: ERIC FEFERBERG/AFP/Getty Images Say what one will about Gordon Brown, at least the United Kingdom wasn't represented by this clown*. *That would be Silvio Berlusconi, silly.

Alex Massie

An Irish Brigadoon

From our UK edition

Jaysus lads, Henry Farrell is correct to observe that this New York Times piece seems to have been inspired by Myles na Gopaleen's great Catechism of Cliche. It's all there: "land of saints and scholars", a "wellspring of poets and balladeers" replete with "ruddy-faced fishermen" and all the rest of it as the writer, an Irish-American making his first trip back to the oul' sod, waxes hyper-lyrical about the rise and fall of the Irish economic miracle. The real Ireland, of course, is a poor but jolly place, amply stocked with all the characters a visitor needs to imagine himself an extra in Ryan's Daughter or, god help us, The Quiet Man.  No wonder another part of the na Gopaleen/O'Brien canon came to mind. The writer seems to be taking his cues from the great satire The Poor Mouth.

Alex Massie

Deterring or Living With Iran?

From our UK edition

Ross Douthat suggests that rather than look to US-Soviet relations, it might be more useful to recall how the world was terrified by the prospect of a nuclear China in the 1960s. There's something to that and, equally, as Ross says the fact that deterrance worked with the USSR and China does not mean that it will always work again. As he puts it, a nuclear Iran is a serious "risk-multiplier". That's why it's possible to be gravely concerned by the implications of a nuclear Iran while also being extremely reluctant to endorse the idea of pre-emptive military action. Meanwhile, James writes: Diplomacy, sanctions and a blockade should all be tried in an attempt to persuade Iran to give up its nuclear programme.

Alex Massie

The Colour of Newsprint

From our UK edition

Jack Shafer  - entertaining as ever - mounts a spirited defence of yellow journalism: "Being rambunctious to the extreme, yellow journalism is misunderstood. At its best, yellow journalism was terrific, and at its worst, it really wasn't all that bad." Quite so. Newspapers are an entertainment just as much as they're a source of, like, news. That's one reason why you can make a decent argument that, taken on its own terms, the News of the World - the yellowest of our papers - is also the best paper in Britain. Shafer adds this: One of the biggest enemies of yellow journalism in the 1890s was Adolph Ochs, who purchased a controlling interest in the New York Times in 1896. He prided himself in publishing the journalism of restraint and impartiality (aka anti-yellow journalism).

Wednesday

Alex Massie

World’s Worst Bankers Elimination Match

From our UK edition

So, Scotland host Iceland tonight in the latest "crucial" World Cup qualifier. The loser will have almost no chance of making it to South Africa so tonight's tussle is effectively an elimination contest. Just as importantly, the losers will assume the official, undisputed title of Worlds' Worst Bankers. The Scotsman's David Maddox runs through the line-ups here. Given the importance of the occasion it was reasuring to see the Scotland skipper prepare for the match in traditional style  - by getting bladdered in what the Daily Record called a "marathon booze session" after the team returned to their Loch Lomond HQ following Saturday's 3-0 drubbing by the Dutch. Anyway, consider this an open thread to discuss the World Cup and other football-related matters.

Tuesday

Alex Massie

Benjamin Netanyahu’s Recipe for Disaster

From our UK edition

The Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg has a very interesting interview with Benjamin Netanyahu which includes this passage: Netanyahu offered Iran’s behavior during its eight-year war with Iraq as proof of Tehran’s penchant for irrational behavior. Iran “wasted over a million lives without batting an eyelash … It didn’t sear a terrible wound into the Iranian consciousness. It wasn’t Britain after World War I, lapsing into pacifism because of the great tragedy of a loss of a generation. You see nothing of the kind.” He continued: “You see a country that glorifies blood and death, including its own self-immolation.” I asked Netanyahu if he believed Iran would risk its own nuclear annihilation at the hands of Israel or America.

Alex Massie

Department of Fast Food

From our UK edition

Andrew Stuttaford, exiled in New York, thinks the creation - and about time too - of the kebab-flavoured* Pot Noodle demonstrates that there's hope yet for the Old Country. He has a point. The Kebab Pot Noodle will be a particular boon to rural dwellers. City folk, however, should remember that this new product cannot hope to surpass the majestic sight - and taste! - of a kebab pizza which is then deep-fried. *"Flavoured" is used in the loosest possible sense of the term, obviously.

Alex Massie

Jacqui Smith Must Stay!

From our UK edition

Over at the Motherblog, Peter writes that Gordon Brown is being damaged by, inter alia, the continuing brouhaha over Jacqui Smith and her expense claims.  A revealing PoliticsHome poll, released this afternoon, finds that a majority of voters (56 percent) think she should step down as Home Secretary - with only 36 percent thinking she should remain in the post.  Despite his support for Smith, the PM will find it difficult to ignore that level of public disapproval. Count me among the 36% then. Not because I think Mrs Smith deserves to stay in the cabinet. Quite the reverse in fact. Outside the financial departments, no cabinet minister has done more to discredit this ministry than Mrs Smith. For that we owe her some thanks.

Alex Massie

Bombing Iran is Good for the Iranian Soul. Apparently.

From our UK edition

Elliot Abrams, veteran warmonger and neoconservative, reminds us that while there are always those who find themselves fighting the last war there are also those who forget that the last war even happened. Concerned about bombing Iran? You shouldn't be. Why? Well, the Iranians will, probably, like it. Or, as he puts it: We are not talking about the Americans killing civilians, bombing cities, destroying mosques, hospitals, schools. No, no, no – weʹre talking about nuclear facilities which most Iranians know very little about, have not seen, will not see, some quite well hidden.

Alex Massie

If I am corrupt, it’s because I take care of my district…

From our UK edition

Photo: ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images There are those who say that John Murtha's mastery of the federal budget process has made the slab-faced Pennsylvania Democrat the posterboy for the need to overhaul the earmark process that delivers federal money to Congressional districts across the country and goes some way towards ensuring that, absent the proverbial presence of a dead girl or a live boy, it's exceedingly difficult to defeat a sitting member. Murtha has brought billions of dollars of bacon back to his Johnstown constituency and become a hate-figure for reform-minded good-government types. Not that the Congressman gives a damn: "If I'm corrupt, it's because I take care of my district" Mr. Murtha said.

Alex Massie

Department of Crime

From our UK edition

How to commit what would seem to be close to a "perfect" crime? Step a) Make Sure you're in Germany. Step b) Make sure you have an identical twin. From Spiegel Online: German police say at least one of the identical twin brothers Hassan and Abbas O. may have perpetrated a recent multimillion euro jewelry heist in Berlin. But because of their indistinguishable DNA, neither can be individually linked to the crime. Both were set free on Wednesday. When police found traces of DNA on a glove left at the scene of the crime, it seemed that the criminals responsible for Germany's most spectacular heist in years would be caught. But the DNA led to not one but two suspects -- 27-year-old identical, or monozygotic, twins with near-identical DNA.