William Weld

Libertarians suck

Everyone knew some husky chap in college who smelled like onions and called himself a libertarian. He may or may not have worn a fedora. He wasn’t cool enough to do drugs but he figured that, if he never stopped talking about how much he wanted to legalize them, he’d get a bit of second-hand cool. This fellow was never seen without a copy of The Road to Serfdom tucked beneath his sweaty armpit. He never missed a seminar (again, lame) and would say the name of Ayn Rand out loud at least once per class. Sometimes he wouldn’t even raise his hand first; he’d just whisper it lovingly under his breath.

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NeverTrump 2020 died in Iowa

In a night that saw a nightmare ending (or beginning) for the Democratic party in Iowa, one thing became resoundingly clear — Donald Trump will still of course be the nominee for the Republican party in 2020. The NeverTrump cable news showcase candidacies of Bill Weld and Joe Walsh, kept afloat by a handful of anti-Trump donors (Bill Kristol) and scam PACs, are over with, and with them any notion that a NeverTrump delegation of leftover 2016 has-beens will serve any purpose besides on Don Lemon’s panel show for personal giggles. The professional NeverTrump contingent cared more about opposing Trump than they did preserving their brand of conservatism or trying to win over voters.

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The curious candidacy of William Weld 

Good news for Team NeverTrump: they have their man — a declared 2020 primary challenger to Donald Trump, and it’s exactly the man they wanted, the former Republican governor of Massachusetts, a man who has graced a presidential ticket before, Mitt… Sorry, Willard… No, wait… Will... William. As in William Weld. The other former Republican governor of Massachusetts who once had a spot on a national ticket, as the Libertarian party’s 2016 nominee for vice president. Romney has carpet-bagged his way to the US Senate, after all, a perch from which he can write Washington Post op-eds to show how woke he’s become.

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The folly of William Floyd Weld

If William Floyd Weld wins his primary challenge against President Trump, it will be the greatest political miracle since Jesus Christ intervened to advise Emperor Constantine before the Battle of Milvian Bridge. Weld has no fan base, no name recognition, no political machine. His brand of let-them-eat-cake libertarianism has zero traction in either major party. His complaint to CNN that ‘the President does not exhibit curiosity about history’ probably won’t resonate with the party’s base, given how quickly they took to demanding Trump imprison his opponent once he was elected.

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