Republican

Seattle Some strange things have been happening here in the Pacific Northwest. We've had a freakishly warm and dry October, for one, and just the other day Seattle apparently boasted the worst air pollution in the world. That was thanks to the smog from all the nearby wildfires, though I’m pleased to report that more normal monsoon conditions have since returned. Elton John was in town for the fifth or sixth time as part of his interminable farewell tour, and in an unrelated development, hundreds of young people, many sporting wigs and dressed in their underwear — if even that — took to the streets to illustrate their role in the city’s annual LGBTQ+ zombie-apocalypse Halloween rave.

“Charlie is running against Donald Trump incarnate,” President Joe Biden strangely remarked of Democrat Charlie Crist, who is running against Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. Trump is, of course, still very much in the flesh, and is also Biden’s likely opponent in 2024. But rhetoric is hardly Brandon’s strong suit in his sunset years, so we can surmise that what he meant was there isn’t much difference between Trump and DeSantis. What Biden doesn’t seem to realize is that, for most Floridians, that’s a good thing. Biden was in South Florida this week for a three-stop tour to buck up failing Democrats. In what's becoming an increasingly red state, all state-level offices apart from agricultural commissioner are held by Republicans.

They say you never forget your first. Your first Republican, that is. For Elon Musk, that is Mayra Flores, the Trump-endorsed candidate who flipped the Congressional seat in Texas’ 34th District from blue to red with a vote from the world's richest man (as well as from thousands of other Texans). Cockburn discovered the news while perusing Twitter this morning (at 3:28 a.m.) to see how the political discourse was doing (not well, as expected). His mood, however, lightened when he stumbled upon this  tweet from Elon Musk: I voted for Mayra Flores – first time I ever voted Republican. Massive red wave in 2022. — Elon Musk (@elonmusk) June 15, 2022 Musk has been increasingly on Cockburn’s radar, especially since he vowed to make Twitter "fun.

After eight months that felt like eighty years, the Ohio Republican Senate primary has at last come to a close. It ended as it began, as a kind of highbrow-cum-low political farce, Aristophanes’ take on post-Trump America. Think a pileup of clown cars on the highway — and then cut to a grinning Donald Trump in a rescue helicopter, swooping down tauntingly only to pull back up again. From the start, the race was an exercise in how far good men would go in order to nab an endorsement from The Donald. And while obscene, the endless attention seeking did have a certain thrill to it. Would JD Vance deny that Vladimir Putin exists? Would Josh Mandel murder an epidemiologist on live TV? Tune in next week to find out, only on The Real Housecucks of Ohio.