Nicola sturgeon

You have the advantage over me. You know the result of the general election, whereas I do not — a consequence of the moronically linear progression of time. Indeed, you may already have fled to one of those countries with a much lower tax rate and less fantastically irritating politicians — Algeria, for example, or Benin. Or Chad. And you are reading this digitally on some patched-in fibre-optic service, the electricity generated by goats trotting forlornly around a gigantic hamster wheel outside — but you are nonetheless delighted with your new life, despite the flies and the occasional gang of marauding, maniacal jihadis. At least you’re not here to experience Britain being well and truly sturgeoned.

This morning the Duchess of Cambridge gave birth to a baby girl. The girl, who is the Queen’s fifth great-grandchild, is the fourth in line to the throne. As members of the public began to celebrate, the political leaders were quick to put out their own carefully worded messages of congratulations. With the election less than a week away, each leader must work out how to toe the party line on the monarchy, while not coming across as cold-hearted or too politically-minded. First out of the starting blocks was Nick Clegg who managed to mention both his constituency and his better half Miriam in his messages: https://twitter.com/nick_clegg/status/594444543220654080 https://twitter.

Tonight’s ‘Question Time’-style TV debates will be followed by what has become probably the most hated aspect of this rather uninspiring general election campaign: the spin room. This spectacle of journalists interviewing journalists as they listen to frontbenchers from all the parties parroting lines about how their leader was the best (or, in the Tory case, how well Nicola Sturgeon has been doing) is odd enough inside the room, let alone for those watching at home. The way the politicians spinning talk is even less natural than usual: it’s like a Westminster version of Made In Chelsea, stuffed with people acting at being actors.

David Cameron is upping the ante on the SNP today, warning voters there’s just ‘ten days to save the United Kingdom’ — despite the fact the election is now nine days away. Or maybe he is counting until the coalition negotiations begin? Ed Miliband on the other hand will add some meat to his promise that Labour will put ‘controls on immigration’. To help guide you through the melée of stories and spin, here is a summary of today’s main election stories. 1. The Battle for Britain, cont.

A friend of mine was notorious at university for photoshopping every single photo of her that went onto Facebook. Every snap in a nightclub or lounging on the beach went through the same changes in RGB levels so that her tan appeared better. And she did look good, at first glance. To those who knew and loved her, though, she seemed rather sad and brittle, so uncomfortable in her own skin that she thought a warmer glow to her pictures might make people respect or like her more. Four weeks into the official election campaign, and the main parties are behaving in the same brittle manner. They hope that the photo opportunities that they craft will make voters think they’re popular and happy.

In this week's Spectator, out tomorrow, James Forsyth and Fraser Nelson have interviewed the Prime Minister David Cameron. He discusses why even his closest colleagues think he needs to show more passion and warns that Nicola Sturgeon wants the next government to be a 'car crash'. Here is an extended preview...  David Cameron is sitting underneath a sign that reads quiet carriage, speaking loudly enough to be heard in the next carriage. He knows that even his closest allies are worried he may lose the election if he doesn’t show more passion, so he has been trying to compensate in recent days. He chops the air with his hands as he speaks, furrows his brow, and sounds a little more angry. He has no end of passion, he says.

Nicola Sturgeon met my Auntie Patsy over the weekend, then was kind enough to tweet a picture of their encounter (below). Seeing her sandwiched between the two people most likely to break up the union was odd, but so was discovering that many members of my extended family are now voting SNP. Aunt Patsy is, I’m afraid, a typical example: like 1 in 50 Scots she has joined the SNP in the last seven months. She wasn’t really into politics until recently, but has caught the bug (there is a lot of it about in Scotland). .@FraserNelson just met your lovely (@theSNP voting) auntie in Inverurie. She says hello pic.twitter.

David Cameron has just delivered his feistiest performance of the election campaign yet. In a combative interview with Andrew Marr, the Tory leader repeatedly described the prospect of a Labour government propped up by the SNP as ‘frightening’, telling English voters that the SNP wouldn’t ‘care’ about them and their needs. He implicitly warned that SNP MPs supporting a Labour government would result in less money for English constituencies. He had been given this opening by Nicola Sturgeon, who in her interview had made clear how the SNP would use the fixed term parliament act to give them maximum influence on a Labour government.

Nicola Sturgeon's style transformation over the past decade has been well-documented. The Mail on Sunday journalist Liz Jones went so far as to suggest that she had gone from being a woman with a 'Krankies haircut and orthopaedic shoes' to a 'golden halo of Princess Diana-like loveliness'. However, Mr S suspects that such naysayers may think differently about Sturgeon in her formative years if they take a glance at a portrait of her dating back six years. Speaking to Sky's Kay Burley, the First Minister of Scotland revealed that she has a saucy painting of herself hanging in her home. The oil painting of Sturgeon is by the French artist Laetitia Guilbaud, and went up for sale in 2009 at Glasgow's ArtDeCaf Gallery.

Ed Miliband took a risk by turning up to this debate and until the last question it looked like it had definitely paid off. Miliband avoided conceding too much to the anti-austerity alliance to his left of Nicola Sturgeon, Natalie Bennett and Leanne Wood and parried Nigel Farage’s attacks on Labour pretty effectively. On Trident, he sounded statesmanlike as he explained why in an uncertain world, Britain needed to renew its nuclear deterrent. All the while, he got in regular attacks on David Cameron both for his record in government and not being at the debate. But the last question was about hung parliaments and it is this which caused Miliband some problems. He stuck to his line about Labour wanting an overall majority and warned about the risks of voting SNP.