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Gay-PMG Grüezi from Switzerland, friends. A Cockburn spy was recently hoping to enjoy a quiet lunch at an Irish pub in Zurich’s Old Town when he was sat next to a large group of somewhat intoxicated KPMG Switzerland employees. It was quite the liquid lunch, with beers and wine flowing for hours and one staffer suggesting a round of shots, a move that was quickly rejected from the already too-far-gone group. One American employee of the firm was waxing lyrical about KPMG’s alleged hopelessly bigoted management.

Pole position Where did you take in last night’s car crash of a presidential debate? Cockburn was holed up in his DC townhouse, washing away the night’s many embarrassments with a glass of Macallan 15. If only he’d known he could have enhanced the viewing experience by watching at a New York gentlemen’s club — as @botticellibimbo, who writes the Strippernomics newsletter on Substack, revealed. “the worst thing about them playing the debate at the strip club rn is that neither sound nor subtitles are on so its just the vibe of the debate,” she tweeted. “the never ending loop of mindless edm playing over this... i imagine it’s what’s going inside their minds.” “ok update at our back bar they do have the sound on!

Barron Trump, modern-day Octavian? In the weirder quarters of the right-wing internet, kooks have long made comparisons between Donald Trump and the emperors of Ancient Rome — viewing him as a Caesar wronged by his rivals and betrayed by his friends, willing that one day his successor might avenge him. A story this week gave fuel to the fire that Trump’s youngest son Barron would become the Octavian to his Julius. The Mail Online reports how Barron has “quietly blossomed into an engaging young man who has leading conservatives purring over his charm and political acumen” and describes him as a “strapping 6ft 7in teen who has never uttered a word in public.” “I see all the attributes of a future president if he has the appetite for it. And why not?

Dylly dilly! Conservatives have been dumping out their Bud Lights lately — or in Kid Rock's case, shooting them —over the beer giant's decision to enter into a brand partnership with trans TikTokker Dylan Mulvaney. Higher-ups at Anheuser-Busch are thought to have been caught flat-footed by the scandal and resulting boycott and are fearful of potential financial ramifications. Could Mulvaney's other corporate partners be next? They include Nike, MAC Cosmetics, Ulta Beauty, the Qatari-owned Plaza Hotel and, most bizarrely considering Dylan's lack of a womb, Tampax... The Little Mermaid (she/her) Disney’s new live-action remake of The Little Mermaid starring Halle Bailey is going even more PC.