Donroe Doctrine

The Prime Ministerial tenure of Andy Burnham was not 24 hours old before the report came that he would allow American use of United Kingdom bases – most crucially in Diego Garcia – for “defensive” strikes on Iran. The qualifier is so expansive as to be meaningless except in the realm of legal technicality: the United States’s war against the Islamic Republic rests in no small part upon British goodwill. It is not, of course, the first time that Britain has lent its capabilities to war in the Middle East in which the Americans are involved. The Royal Air Force was active in downing Iranian drones sent against Israel and Qatar, at the least, at various points in 2024, 2025, and 2026. The RAF joined the United States Navy in strikes on Yemeni positions in spring 2025.

So FIFA is going to take action against the Argentinian players for unfurling their "Las Malvinas son Argentinas" banner after beating England in Wednesday’s World Cup semi-final. The act was a clear violation of the Federation’s rules about politicizing the game. Typically, however, any fines or suspensions will come into force after the final is out of the way on Sunday – meaning the punishments will be all but pointless. Cue more wild conspiracy theories about FIFA’s closeness to Argentina, the Nazis and the Masons, and goodness knows what else. Sane people probably realize that it’s not worth getting too het up about what a bunch of overpaid, talented but dishonorable sports stars think about the Falkland Islands, which have belonged to Britain for two centuries.