Divorce

Human risk assessment is not a dispassionate numbers-crunching game. Those who fear flying have to know we’re four times more likely to die in a car crash than in a fiery plunge from the skies, even if we’re boarding a Boeing. The fear of flying may be common, but only a select few will rule out the jet engine entirely. When it comes to emotional risk evaluation, there is one area where phobia prevails over reason: our increasingly sterile view of what constitutes a good bet when it comes to marriage and family life. Since the second half of the twentieth century, American society has been on a mission to eliminate risk. Seatbelt and helmet laws reduced deaths in automobile and bike accidents at the expense of comfort and self-respect.

When my parents split up I was twelve years old. They were officially divorced and in new relationships a year later. My husband was ten when his parents split up. We both talk about how those moments were pivotal in our lives, the moment that we went from shy, straight-A students to troublemaking partiers. My mom moved us to Minnesota with our shiny new (insane) stepfather, apparently with my father’s blessing. He’d taken a huge financial hit and couldn’t afford to fly all us kids home, so we spent that first lovely Christmas eating McDonald’s on the beds of the Mall of America hotel. Logistically it would be a nightmare forever.

I don’t know who Joe Jonas’s publicist is, but whoever they are, they deserve a raise. In the wake of the singer’s divorce from Sophie Turner, the coverage of the split in gossip outlets like TMZ and the New York Post’s Page Six describes has made quite clear who the good guy is (Jonas), and who the fall guy is (Turner).   In the wake of the split, tabloids explain that Jonas is caring for their children “pretty much all of the time” and that he is in “dad mode” while on tour.   In the pages of the gossip outlets, the divorce is explained by the fact that Turner “likes to party” while Jonas “likes to stay home.

Like all men, flawed as they are, Cockburn has indulged in the odd message to an Instagram beauty after one mojito too many. But as we’ve learned from Adam Levine over the last week, it’s probably best to follow some rules when doing so. After the Maroon 5 singer was caught sending multiple messages to women who aren’t his wife, people have been quick to shame him for being a scumbag. Cockburn recognizes that extramarital flirtation is frowned upon, but he also believes there is a way to do these things. It’s all in the delivery. Step one If your wife is a Victoria's Secret model, and you are a declining rockstar covered in tattoos that make Post Malone's look like the Sistine Chapel, maybe message her instead?!

Won’t you spare a thought for poor William Henry Gates III? For most of America, the collapse of a marriage is a private trauma, or at worst publicized in a series of ill-thought Facebook posts. But Mr Gates is worth $120 billion — and it turns out an unfathomably enormous fortune can buy a great deal of unwanted attention when your personal life is disintegrating. Jeff Bezos had an even bigger fortune at stake when he divorced — and his public breakup involved cringeworthy X-rated text messages being leaked to the world via the National Enquirer. Somehow Gates’s divorce has already managed to become more publicly excruciating. First, there were the leaks about Melinda’s $132,000 a night island getaway where she planned to wait out the media storm.