Coke

Thursday

Cockburn

Trump makes America’s Coke pure again

Squashed between his Truth Social announcements that fentanyl is now a Schedule I drug, President Trump made a surprising declaration related to his own favorite addictive substance: Coke (the drink). "I have been speaking to Coca-Cola about using REAL Cane Sugar in Coke in the United States, and they have agreed to do so," he proclaimed. "I’d like to thank all of those in authority at Coca-Cola. This will be a very good move by them – You’ll see. It’s just better!" Coca-Cola responded to Trump's message merrily. "We appreciate President Trump's enthusiasm for our iconic Coca-Cola brand. More details on new innovative offerings within our Coca-Cola product range will be shared soon," the company said in a statement.

Coke to be made with cane sugar

Monday

Julie Burchill

There’s no such thing as ‘woke coke’

From our UK edition

Have you heard about ‘Woke Coke’ – ‘Wokaine’, if you will? Apparently drug dealers are now targeting the WaWs (Woke And Wealthy) with gear at £200 a gram (when I quit six years ago, £70 was the going price) and a promise that your particular little bindel of joy is 'environmentally friendly' and 'ethically sourced’ from ‘well-paid farmers.’  Reading about it this week, I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or call the police and report myself for historical crimes against humanity. I don’t regret much in my long, louche life. But if I could go back in time and undo one thing, I’d return to 1985 when I started taking cocaine and thereafter took it pretty much every day for thirty years.