Chasten Buttigieg

Almost a year ago, the Federal Aviation Authority, under the helm of transportation secretary Pete Buttigieg, announced that the aviation briefing known as NOTAM, or Notice to Airmen, would undergo a name change. NOTAMs are unclassified notices distributed from an aviation authority to all pilots that contain essential information regarding conditions, hazards, system concerns, or other flight operations. NOTAM, Mayor Pete’s Department of Transportation declared, wasn’t gender inclusive and, as of December 2, 2021, it should henceforth be referred to Notice to Air Missions, not Airmen.

It’s time for Pete Buttigieg to truck off down the road from the Department of Transportation — if, that is, he turns up for work again and can find a driver. It’s shameful even by the standards of the federal government for the head of a department to disappear during an emergency. It’s ludicrous for a technocratic Democrat in a technocratic administration. The smart set are explaining away the supply-chain fiasco as middle-class false consciousness. ‘Most of the economic problems we're facing (inflation, supply chains, etc.) are high class problems,’ says Ron Klain, Biden’s chief of staff. That’s right, Ron: if the peasants can’t find vegetables on the shelves, let them eat the rich.

On Valentine’s Day, Mayor Pete and his hus-bear Chasten managed to once again charm absolutely no one, barring a few lonely, slightly overweight middle-aged women. The couple, who like to cram their twee, G-rated romance down America’s throat at every possible opportunity, shared a photo from their wedding day. ‘With you, my love, I’d go anywhere’, Chasten wrote. https://www.instagram.com/p/B8j0ZA1BBqE/ Disney-Pixar may have announced a forthcoming LGBT cartoon character, but we already have two of them on television: the Buttigiegs. They’re like a Mickey Mouse Club of homosexuality, eerily non-threatening, grotesquely irritating, and serving us content not intended for the consumption of mature adults.

Jackie Kennedy oversaw a restoration of the White House and transformed the First Residence into a museum of American art and history. She also arranged for the Mona Lisa to tour America (a move that caused riots in Paris). Betty Ford, candid about her struggle with drugs and alcohol, established the nation’s preeminent addiction treatment center. Rosalynn Carter attended cabinet meetings and was the president’s emissary to Latin America and Melania Trump is a paragon of grace, elegance and style for American women to admire. But it’s time to step aside, First Ladies, because there’s a big, goofy, gay nerd coming through and his name is Chasten Buttigieg.