Bofa

They say the past is a foreign country where things are done differently. But if I had any choice in the matter, I would invade that country, track down my past self, and smart-bomb his phone before he could text Donald Trump Jr the dumb joke which landed me in a Secret Service interrogation room. It was November 2017 on a slow news day at babe.net, the defunct youth news site where I used to work, when I stumbled upon Don Jr's private cell phone number. It appeared to be listed on a publicly-accessible PDF uploaded to the internet by the Trump Organization. After confirming it was genuine, I did what any puerile young reporter not working the politics beat would do: I tried to prank him. It worked so well that Don Jr reported me to the Secret Service because he was that mad.