AOC

Thursday

Cockburn

Rashida Tlaib demands banks stop funding new oil and gas products

Cockburn was busy vigorously shaking his evening martini, James Bond-style, last night, so he missed the first half of Representative Rashida Tlaib’s insufferably long-winded and self-righteous speech ahead of a really dumb question. Her overly accentuated red lips (a similar shade of blood sported by fellow Squad member AOC) spewed all sorts of nonsense, while her attention-grabbing glasses risked flying from her face as her head gestured dramatically back and forth on screen. Cockburn’s mixology ended just in time to hear Tlaib charge J.P. Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon with: “Please answer with a simple yes or no, does your bank have a policy against funding new oil and gas products, Mr. Dimon?

Thursday

Sean Themea

Why are millennial politicians such sellouts?

In their 2004 chart-topping album American Idiot, Green Day sings that “another protester has crossed the line to find the money’s on the other side.” Fast forward to 2022, and we find that many young politicians posing as threats to the establishment are singing the same tune. Top millennials in Washington may brand themselves as rebels, but their votes often end up indistinguishable from the elder establishment they so revile. In a recent campaign ad, South Carolina Democratic gubernatorial candidate Joe Cunningham declared that both his state and America are being run by a geriatric oligarchy. “Some of these people have been clinging onto power for 30, 40, even 50 years,” Cunningham said.