Wheel Clamp
‘Welcome back to all of you who haven’t gone to join IS.’
‘Compromise, or we’ll put Wayne Rooney in the driving seat.’
‘I don’t know, it seems to be loading pretty fast to me...’
‘I’m cooking for 528 followers.’
‘Ah, good! I’m through to a real person.’
‘More adagio and we’ll come to a full stop.’
‘Is everything OK with your meal? Your child isn’t running wild in our restaurant.’
‘Cake news.’
‘You going anywhere terrifying this year?’
‘ID?’
‘I’m looking for Mr Alt-Right.’