Any other business

Don’t assume that Conrad Black is about to meet his Waterloo

Before I start this piece, which is about the future of the Daily Telegraph, I should make clear that it is written by me. When I last wrote at length about the Telegraph – rather controversially, perhaps – I appear to have caused palpitations in the heart of at least one banker. The Spectator is owned by the same company as the Daily Telegraph, namely Hollinger International. And this banker, who may have been a somewhat unsophisticated individual, formed the view that anything appearing in The Spectator about the Telegraph must carry some sort of proprietorial stamp of approval, and reflect in some way the thinking of its higher management. This is completely untrue. What appears here are only my thoughts.

Of dyers, drapers, weavers and other trichological Fabrications

One day last week, the only subject of conversation among those of us employed to observe proceedings from the House of Commons gallery was the blond hair of Mr Michael Fabricant, the Conservative member for Lichfield. It had become luxuriously longer than ever before, tumbling below his rear collar so that it was the most exciting that I had seen since the demise of Jayne Mansfield, or at least since Mr (now Lord) Heseltine procured the demise of Mrs Thatcher, herself no mean contender for these compliments. Mr Simon Hoggart wrote about Mr Fabricant's hair in the Guardian. I, in the Daily Telegraph, did not mention it.

The government will face the biggest fight of its life over the European constitution

It was in these pages four weeks ago that the idea of a non-governmental referendum on the new European constitution was first mooted. Paul Robinson explained how, if Tony Blair remained steadfast in his refusal to consult the people, it would be possible to organise a referendum. He could have cited the example of Gibraltar, where last November the government called its own referendum on the British proposal for joint sovereignty with Spain. A fraction less than 99 per cent of voters opposed the Anglo-Spanish scheme. In the face of such opposition Jack Straw, the Foreign Secretary, had little option but to shelve his plans. A similar effect might be produced by a freelance referendum in this country on the European constitution.

Banned Wagon | 24 May 2003

Stephen Byers has an apology to make. Not, sadly, for telling porkies or mismanaging the railways. He wants to apologise for going to the World Trade Organisation's conference in Seattle in 1999 and doing his bit for free trade. He now says he was misguided. Now that he has been 'meeting farmers and communities at the sharp end', he has concluded that free trade isn't such a good idea after all. 'The way forward,' he writes in the Guardian, 'is through a regime of managed trade in which markets are slowly opened up and trade policy levers like subsidies and tariffs are used to help achieve development goals.' It isn't just his days as secretary of state for trade on which Mr Byers is turning his back.

Banned Wagon | 17 May 2003

Investors stung by the endowment-policy and pension-plan mis-selling scandals, and in possession of poorly managed unit trusts that have failed miserably to outperform the FT-SE index, can hardly be blamed for coming to the conclusion that they might just as well make their own investment decisions rather than rely on the men in grey suits. Sadly, however, the European Commission believes that we cannot be trusted to make such decisions by ourselves. Its new Investment Services Directive contains a stinging clause that would oblige execution-only stockbrokers to assess their customers' competence before allowing them to use the service. Such obligations, the stockbrokers warn, will mean a sharp increase in the cost of trading for millions of small investors.

Sly move: how poor young Piers Morgan is losing his grip on the Mirror

Is the eight-year reign of Piers Morgan at the Daily Mirror drawing to a gentle close? Last October I wrote, 'My bet is that in six months' time the Mirror will not belong to Trinity.' Mmm. More than six months have passed and the newspaper has not been sold – yet. An approach to buy it was made before Christmas by the venture-capital groups Apax Partners and Candover, but rebuffed by the board of Trinity Mirror. Since then the condition of the group has worsened, with the sales of the Daily Mirror and its sister titles falling further, and several senior executives being asked to walk the plank. Readers may be inclined to receive my predictions about the future of Mr Morgan with scepticism. Nonetheless, I believe his day is drawing nigh.

Banned Wagon | 10 May 2003

This column does not often find common cause with American farmers, nor with farmers of the developed world in general. But it has become necessary to do so, thanks to some brazen protectionist policies on the part of China. Last year, China announced it was going to ban the import of all genetically modified crops. This promised particularly serious problems for American agriculture, given that China has in recent years imported as much as $1 billion worth of genetically modified soya from the USA. Opponents of genetic engineering will no doubt be tempted to applaud China's lead: why should a country be forced to accept imports of GM foods, they might argue, when the need for them has not been proven and their danger is apparent?

If you want to get ahead in the Tory party, do not become an assassin

We shall probably never know what drove someone like Crispin Blunt to carry out a suicide attack on Iain Duncan Smith. The young man was from a respectable, middle-class, and pro-European background. That is, he came from the Tory breeding ground of moderation. But not all respectable, middle-class pro-Europeans try to assassinate their leader. His neighbours on the backbenches said that they were amazed and shocked when they heard the news. To them, he was a rather ordinary man, polite and nice. None of them suspected that he would get mixed up in terrorism.

If you embarrass the government, you may end up in police custody

In the early hours of last Thursday, armed police arrived at the Belfast house of Liam Clarke, the Sunday Times's Northern Ireland editor, and his wife, Kathy. They seized four computers, children's games, old newspapers and written material. Liam's and Kathy's eight-year-old daughter was in the house. Police smashed the door to Mr Clarke's office, though a key could have been produced. Kathy and Liam were arrested. On arrival at the police station, Liam was not allowed to make a telephone call which a sheet of paper informed him was his right. Liam and Kathy were held for 23 hours.

The day Lord Rees-Mogg made me want to cry out in pain

If William Rees-Mogg had a fan club, I would be its president. I would lick envelopes for him and update his website, which would no doubt be full of his latest geopolitical prognostications. I would arrange coach parties of the faithful so that we could travel down to Somerset and glimpse him as he paced his grounds. I would organise seminars in which various 'Mogg experts' could unveil their latest theories about his work. There is virtually nothing I would not do for him. Almost my first act on a Monday morning is to read his column in the Times. It is invariably a pleasure. William Rees-Mogg is an old-fashioned essayist who can turn to almost any subject under the sun, and write with knowledge and authority. This Monday, however, I was stopped in my tracks.

Banned Wagon | 3 May 2003

Unesco's recent Education for All week was outwardly a campaign to boost the educational opportunities for children in the Third World. On closer inspection, however, the campaigning materials betray a political motive involving one issue alone: 'gender parity'. 'Educating girls yields the highest return in economic terms,' asserts Unesco. 'Countries in sub-Saharan Africa that have not sent enough girls to school over the past 30 years now have GNPs 25 per cent lower than if they had given them a better chance.' This dubious statistic fails to acknowledge that in several African countries – notably Botswana, Namibia, Malawi, Lesotho and Zambia – more girls attend school than boys; and they are hardly economic hothouses either.

Mrs Galloway’s problems with the Queen of Spades

America's numbering of the Saddam regime's leading members, and issuing this order of precedence in the form of a deck of playing cards to aid American troops searching for them, has surely caused much unnecessary rivalry, jockeying for position and unpleasantness to one another on the part of the war criminals and torturers thus enumerated. This is so wherever any sizable number of them are in hiding together, whether underground in Baghdad, Tikrit, Syria – or Mr George Galloway's Glasgow constituency of Kelvin. None of the colleagues disputes Saddam's right to being first on the list, and the Ace of Spades in that deck. It is accepted that he has worked for the position, and earned it; likewise his sons Qusay and Uday, respectively Ace of Clubs and Ace of Hearts.

It’s a great scoop, but the Telegraph is wrong to suggest that Galloway is a traitor

The Daily Telegraph's story about the Scottish Labour MP George Galloway is undoubtedly a cracker. In some respects it reminds me of the Guardian's demolition of the Tory MP Neil Hamilton during the Major years. As a cocky, rather slimy Thatcherite of conspicuously ungentlemanly mien, Mr Hamilton represented everything the Guardian loathed. Similarly, though it may have had a respect for Mr Galloway's oratorical skills, the Daily Telegraph sees in him much that it hates. A careful reading of its full-length leading article on Tuesday morning reveals that the paper is not so much exercised by its allegations of corruption against Mr Galloway as its belief that his activity had been unpatriotic and treasonable.

Independent readers wanted bad news from Iraq; Mirror readers didn’t

This was not a good war for newspapers. I am not so much thinking of the journalism. Much of it was excellent, though newspapers are obviously at a disadvantage to 24-hour rolling news channels, which not only provide breaking stories but also analysis from people who surprisingly often know what they are talking about. Newspapers scarcely put on sales during the war, and those that did appear already to have lost them. This is very disheartening to editors who have burnt the midnight oil, to reporters on the spot who have risked life and limb, and to publishers who have spent tens of thousands of unbudgeted pounds only to see very little sales uplift, if any at all. Exact figures are hard to establish.

Nobody really knows how the war is going, partly because our governments lie

One of the paradoxes of this war is that most of us do not have very much idea of what is going on. That is at any rate what I feel. There are hundreds of brave and talented journalists in Iraq who address us every hour of the day and night on television, and fill untold acres of newsprint in the press. But although I have spent countless hours slumped on my sofa watching the box (last night I tore myself away from Fox News at two o'clock in the morning), and almost as much time poring over the newspapers, the fog of war clings to me wherever I go. As I write, we don't know whether Saddam Hussein is alive or dead. The media seem momentarily to have lost interest in the progress of our magnificent soldiers around Basra.

Banned Wagon | 29 March 2003

Although much overshadowed by the war in Iraq, environmentalists, businessmen and charity workers met at the World Water Forum in Kyoto last week to discuss why 1.2 billion people still have no access to clean water. The United Nations has set a target of reducing this by half by 2015. But Michel Camdessus, the former managing director of the International Monetary Fund, warns that the target will not be met because only $80 billion a year is being invested annually in the global water supply against the required $180 billion. Returns are too low thanks to corruption and mismanagement in the Third World. Part of the problem is that Western anti-globalisation lobbyists, who themselves enjoy clean water, have been preaching a message that water and profit do not mix.

Anti-war journalists hope for the worst – because the worst will prove them right

We journalists think pretty highly of ourselves. I don't mean the chap who touches up photographs of Page Three girls; he may have a proper sense of his place in the universe. I mean columnists, leader writers and foreign correspondents. I mean the undoubtedly brave men and women who stand in the desert in Iraq (a country most of them have not visited before) and pronounce on the progress of the war (a subject about which many of them know rather little). I mean the editors who tell us what to think. Most of us draw comfort from the thought that the job we do is a vital one. We know that a free press is the mark of a free society, and we see ourselves as the guardians of that society.

Banned Wagon | 22 March 2003

In a speech in Ontario a fortnight ago, Leo W. Gerard made an eloquent appeal for the formation of a new 'worldwide movement for social justice to cure the ills of globalisation'.

We should toast the reporters who are staying behind to cover the war

President George W. Bush has suggested that journalists should be pulled out of Baghdad. You may ask what business it is of his. On the other hand, perhaps he knows better than most of us what is likely to happen to the Iraqi capital over the next few days and weeks. There has been talk of Saddam Hussein and the Republican Guard making a last stand there, and drawing coalition troops into a fight for the city which they might not easily win. Fanciful comparisons have been made with Stalingrad. Even if there is no conflagration, Allied aircraft are expected to target government buildings with 'precision bombs'. We can recall from the assault on Belgrade during the Kosovo war that these bombs are not always as precise as they are cracked up to be.

What the United States and the German and Tsarist empires have in common

Two weeks ago, I argued here - I hope without any suggestion of great originality - that all crises produce the same people. That is, doves, hawks and a majority which is moderate or opportunistic according to taste. Thus it was possible to compare the present crisis over Iraq with the 1914 crisis over Serbia. But great powers behave similarly too. More specifically, their component parts do. There is something which links today's United States to other great powers of the not too distant past. It is the existence, within the state, of a faction which wants to spread what it sees as the state's essence. It is the desire to expand which is the link; not that which is expanded.