Pete tops Iowa
Come on, guys, we all know that Mayor Pete doesn’t come out on top, no matter what the internet says. The dwarf from South Bend is already claiming victory in the disastrous Iowa caucus debacle, but there is absolutely no way Mayor Pete is a viable candidate for the Democratic party for one glaring reason: blacks. Mayor Pete doesn’t even register on polls among black Democrats. That’s 0 percent support. In order to show how down with the struggle Mayor Pete is, he’s posed for the cameras with fried chicken and Al Sharpton, drank malt liquor from a brown paper bag on the streets of Inwood, attended black churches in the Carolinas, and sent out surveys to his staff about microaggressions. White people were prohibited from filling out the survey.