Cockburn’s Diary

We need to deep-clean the halls of Congress January is a month for shedding the pounds — and the latest fitness fad for Capitol Hill reporters is chasing around disgraced congressman George Santos. In a show of collegiality, the staffers of other representatives have been alerting the press to Santos's whereabouts. Take deputy chief of staff Aaron Fritschner, whose boss Representative Don Beyer, a Democrat from Virginia, shares a hallway with Santos. "I've done it twice now," he told Politico's Huddle newsletter. "I'm gonna keep on doing it for as long as he's there. And it seems like he's not going anywhere." Cockburn is delighted that Fritschner has found a fun new hobby to plug the hole left by his last one: explaining why Don Beyer is inadvertently employing Chinese spies.

Nick Adams doesn’t write his own tweets Heartbreaking news from the social media world: a spy tells Cockburn that Nick Adams, the Trump surrogate, author and self-proclaimed “Alpha Male,” hires a communications firm to write most of his tweets. He may not, therefore, be the author behind classics such as "Joe Biden has never been to a Hooters." Adams's entire “Alpha Male” persona is a highly effective troll job that has led his account to reach massive engagement levels. Adams recently made headlines for getting into a Twitter war with former professional golfer Paige Spiranac after he said slow female golfers should only be allowed to play par-three courses. Cockburn wonders what "alpha male" would intentionally alienate Spirinac and what she calls her “fantastic milkers.

The state of Tate Shiny-headed influencer Andrew Tate dominated the headlines over Christmas after being detained in Romania as part of a human trafficking and rape investigation. Of course Cockburn believes in the concept of "innocent until proven guilty." But he is at pains to point out that many facets of Tate's lifestyle come across as rather sinister. Cockburn was recently approached by a former acquaintance of Tate’s, who wanted to recount going for a meeting at his Bucharest property. Naturally Cockburn couldn't confirm every detail, but the account nonetheless paints an interesting picture: Walking into his house was like walking into an IKEA showroom from 2011. We went down this dirt path to get to it on the outskirts of Bucharest.

Shopping Kyrsten Sinema style Kyrsten Sinema has been honing her independent streak during her time in Washington — a noted departure from the progressive activism of her youth. The Arizona senator who left the Democrats last week has filed paperwork to run as an Independent in 2024, a reflection of her state’s purple values. At the same time, Sinema seems to have developed quite an entrepreneurial side hustle. Slate’s Christina Cauterucci discovered that Congress’s most ostentatious dresser has been hawking old clothes on Facebook Marketplace. The user is currently hawking — among other things — a $215 cycling ensemble, a $25 trucker hat, and a $150 stainless steel watch with a silicone strap.

Afua Hirsch sells out Cockburn is reeling today after a heavy night, but it was the only thing he could do to make him forget the three hours of Whinge and Ginge that he had to watch at 3 a.m. The Harry & Meghan Netflix documentary wasn’t exactly enlightening: just a rehash of their previous groans of injustice. Although Meghan did go out of her way this time to make fun of Haz’s dear old granny, by doing an overexaggerated curtsy which made even her hapless husband look uncomfortable. https://twitter.com/chrisshipitv/status/1600845696751800321 There were new faces in the mix though, rather than the classic hagiographers. One of the journalists commentating was British journalist Afua Hirsch. Cockburn asked around... and it turns out that Hirsch isn’t exactly, er, well-liked.

Yeezy come, Yeezy go Kanye West has been permanently suspended from Twitter just one month after his account being locked. Elon Musk tweeted that Ye had “violated our rule against incitement to violence", after he posted a series of erratic tweets — including a symbol combining a swastika and a Jewish star. Now a London tattoo parlor is offering free removals for anyone with a Yeezy tattoo. They’ve nicknamed the campaign “Yeezy come, Yeezy go.” https://twitter.com/mattxiv/status/1598509785225347074?s=46&t=jeqhEGKEQaVSEdSE9A5F4Q Blind item: which far-right pundit is a ‘twink Ernst Röhm?’ Which virulently anti-homosexual far-right figure, who's recently been making headlines, doth protest too much?

NRSC OOO The National Republican Senate Committee has found itself under the microscope lately as the post-election finger-pointing intensifies. They have faced calls for a review of the GOP campaign arm's spending, after chairman Senator Rick Scott blamed "unauthorized and improper bonuses" awarded to staff. Cockburn can’t help but wonder if the NRSC would be better prepared for this flurry of bad press had they not let their comms staff work remotely all summer... *** Holmes’s new sidekick Elizabeth Holmes, the disgraced Theranos founder, has got herself a fanboy.

Everybody hates Donald? An emergency gathering is set to be held in Miami next week to talk about “the Trump problem,” a source tells Cockburn. Steve Wynn and other big-shot GOP donors are said to want to “move on from Trump,” so are coming together to decide how to keep him from securing the 2024 nomination. The former president has been said to be in a “terrible mood” and “throwing regular tantrums” after the failure of his chosen candidates in the midterms. He is also facing mutiny from previously die-hard fans who adored him before Tuesday, such as: Candace Owens: "Trump needs to take a good look in the mirror and he needs to take a good look in the room, and he needs to read the room accurately.

Sources: Trump 2024 team forming After Axios’s report that Trump is set to announce a 2024 run on November 14 — and his own tease at yesterday’s rally — sources tell Cockburn that the campaign team is firming up. As Cockburn reported last week, Chris LaCivita is being strongly considered for campaign manager. Cockburn also hears that Michael Glassner, who was the COO of Trump 2020, will return, along with advisor Boris Epshteyn and Steve Bannon associate Alexandra Preate. Epshteyn is said to be particularly close to Trump and has advised him on major legal issues. Carl Higbie is also said to be under consideration for a high-level role. Trump is supposedly already making calls about jobs in his future administration. Time to update your résumés!

James Corden’s bad attitude So apparently before the past few days, no one in the US knew that James Corden was a total douchebag. Cockburn has lost track of whether the comedian is currently banned or unbanned from Balthazar restaurant in NYC for being rude to staff, but it’s not the first time he’s had to grovel for forgiveness. When filming for the Christmas special of Gavin and Stacey — the British sitcom about two families written by Corden and Ruth Jones that launched him to stardom — Corden apparently acted so appallingly to the cast that Jones made him drive to her house to apologize to her and the cast for his “awful twattish behavior,” a source tells Cockburn. *** Is a Trump 2024 campaign team forming?

Cockburn has just posted bail, after some post-AA meeting cocktails got out of hand yesterday afternoon. He apologizes for the tardiness of his Friday gossip column. Hopefully the contents make up for it... The ungrammatical WHCA The White House Correspondents' Association has been busy this week. Preparing for midterms, you ask? Not quite. Their members have been focusing on making the language of their by-laws gender-neutral. (They/them as a singular, etc.) Eighty-two percent of the membership voted to change the language, and it will take effect January next year. Way to go, guys. Super important. *** Tim Ryan’s nightmares In Ohio, the internal numbers are terrible for Tim Ryan. Cockburn has heard that some Ryan staffers believe he hasn't been sleeping.

Candace Owens fallout at the Daily Wire Cockburn’s spies have heard that the Candace Owens's recent antics have internally divided her colleagues at the Daily Wire. Some found her defense of her buddy Kanye West's antisemitic comments gross, but Jeremy Boreing, the company's CEO, is said to have a soft spot for Candace — and is circling the wagons. In case you missed it: Candace came to Kanye’s defense after he tweeted that he was going to "go death con 3 on Jewish people." Owens claimed that, "If you are an honest person, you did not think this tweet was antisemitic.” That’s right reader: it’s your fault for interpreting it all wrong. Cockburn also hears that the Wire's use of NDAs is keeping disgruntled former staffers quiet.