Will Lloyd

Has there ever been a more cack-handed, sloppy bunch of goons than these Democratic candidates? Ancient Joe Biden looks like he’s just been defrosted after a few thousand years in a cryochamber, tremulously stirring to a world full of new social norms that baffle him. Elizabeth Warren pretends she’s a Native American and poor Bernie Sanders’s rusty old ticker could blow any minute now. Beto O’Rourke’s chilling rhetoric on everything from guns to religion makes Vladimir Lenin look like Isaiah Berlin. Cory Booker is a 50-year old adult man who proudly attends comic book conventions.

For a long time now, those of us who have the misfortune to have working eyes and ears have become deeply familiar with the activities of one family. This family is (still) taken very seriously by some very serious people, in spite of the fact that vast numbers of us would rather eat chlorine-flavored ice cream than ever hear from them again. Like some sort of deathless voodoo incantation, the name of this family echoes around the world. It echoes in high-altitude frosted glass conference rooms filled with international bores. It echoes in the frazzled minds of readers of the legacy press.

This article is in The Spectator’s inaugural US edition. Subscribe here to get yours. One thing is now as obvious as a brick through a window: politics is the new comedy. Who in America believes that the road to 2020 will be paved with prudence, solemnity and fair campaigning? Nobody does. This election season will be defined by below-the-belt hits, salty jokes and juvenile comebacks, all delivered with the subtlety of an air horn blast. Already we have seen doddery Joe Biden challenge the president to a push-up contest on national television, while Bernie Sanders wants to take on Trump at a mile-long footrace. The president, according to the cerebral Andrew Yang, is ‘so fat’. This is not an American phenomenon.

The paradox of Joe Biden is well known. How does the experienced, effective, formidable politician turn into such a fiasco-stalked jellyfish every time he goes for the presidency? Given his advanced state of decomposition, there has been something almost moving about watching Biden being wheeled around another campaign this year. Every Biden event, every meet ’n’ greet, every New Hampshire stroll has generated a micro-gaffe or viral mini-controversy. And each word, each gesture is combed for evidence of sexism or racism. Biden’s most laudable, nay, heroic effort so far to live up to this reputation came during the third debate in Houston.

If you elected to build a library dedicated to the subject of Human Folly, the place would end up as wide as the Grand Canyon and as tall as the Burj Khalifa. Plenty of space then, for a modest pamphlet on the activities of the Democratic Socialists of America, who held their National Convention last week in Atlanta. Socialism – or something that calls itself socialism – has returned to America. There are some good reasons for this turn to the left, among them a justifiable anger with a feckless ruling class that is shared by the Trumpian right. Thomas Frank continues to argue persuasively (and ineffectually) that a populist turn to the left – not open borders advocacy and more managerialism – are the best way to beat President Trump.

Now here is a dubious image: Wednesday January 20, 2021. A low grey sky and persistent drizzle over Washington, as 'billionaire activist' and President-elect Tom Steyer takes the hallowed oaths of office on the steps of the Capitol building. Who, besides Steyer himself and the squad of creeping, over-remunerated sycophants who advise him, really pictures that happening? Every schmuck in America with enough money to buy the actual moon seems to have considered running for president lately. Consider Mark 'Augustus' Zuckerberg’s weird 50-state listening tour back in 2017.

Watching parts of the Watergate hearings again recently, I was struck by just how dry they are as a spectacle. This momentous national occasion, with all its historic consequences, appeared to be conducted with all the torpor of a group of chameleons sunbathing on a tree branch. If you were to compare Alexander P. Butterfield’s restrained, emotionally strangled testimony with Jon Stewart’s showboating appearance before a House Judiciary Committee yesterday, you would think an enormous change in human nature had occurred in the decades between then and now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeQXopJ5U-Q Stewart was attending a hearing for a bill that would protect the health benefits of 9/11 first responders.