Alexander Larman

The late Brian Wilson, who has died aged 82, once had his songs, which included modern-day classics such as ‘God Only Knows’ and ‘Good Vibrations’, described as 'pocket symphonies to God'. For just about any other artist, such a description would be grandiloquent tosh. Yet in the case of Wilson, who struggled with personal demons that all but consumed him after a brief, brilliant flourish of early success, such praise is entirely justified. It is little wonder that his friend and rival Paul McCartney was inspired to write Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band after hearing the Beach Boys’ masterpiece Pet Sounds for the first time. That album was thrillingly alive to the possibilities of what pop music could be and transformed American culture forever.

Say what you like about the Duchess of Sussex – and I try to  – but she has a knack for coming up with the provocative. While the world is still reeling from the recent video of her twerking (and a thousand thinkpieces solemnly debating exactly whether she has a right to twerk or not), she has returned a few days later with news that is both entirely unexpected and grimly predictable. Meghan is considering parlaying her 'As Ever' lifestyle and homeware range into a series of restaurants and – be still my beating heart – hotels.  Although details of this potential hospitality empire are as yet sketchy, it has been reported that the brand has been trademarked with a view to providing 'hospitality services'.

Arise, Sir Goldenballs. Next week, David Beckham will finally become Sir David in the King’s birthday honours, which in turn will mean that his wife will become Lady Victoria Beckham. Once, when she was best known for being the pop songstress Posh Spice – and he was most famous for being an unusually petulant Manchester United footballer – this would have seemed like a ridiculous state of affairs; the monarchy pandering to celebrity at its most naked and obvious. It may be a sign of how Britain, rather than the Beckhams, has changed over the intervening decades that the only observation that many might have about the award is why it has taken so long to be bestowed.

There are some sights that nobody should ever be forced to see, lest they be forced into a lifetime of therapy-intensive PTSD. To this list should be added a video of Meghan, Duchess of Sussex twerking. For some unfathomable reason, Meghan and Harry decided to mark their daughter Lilibet’s fourth birthday by posting a video on Instagram that featured the heavily pregnant expectant mother gyrating wildly in a hospital room to a song called ‘Baby Mama’, in apparent recreation of a (checks notes) TikTok trend.  I assumed at first that it was an AI-created spoof, and that litigation from this never knowingly under-lawyered couple would be coming soon. But no.

As his younger son conducts an attention-seeking trip to China, it was King Charles, addressing Canada’s House of Commons and Senate, who showed how a calm, dignified approach to public life pays far greater dividends than empty point-scoring. The King has been a popular and welcome figure in Canada since he arrived with the Queen on a brief visit yesterday; the enthusiastic greetings from tens of thousands of Canadians was no mere piece of theatre. Charles's oft-forgotten status as King of Canada has been foremost in people’s minds, thanks to the carefully and adroitly handled pageantry surrounding him, but it was his set-piece speech in the Senate in Ottawa that was the most anticipated aspect of his appearance. It did not disappoint.

There is no such thing as a 'royal car'. Traditionally, the monarchy has been associated with various British manufacturers, such as Bentley, Rolls-Royce and (until their recent, breathtakingly misjudged advertising campaign, at least) Jaguar. But there is no equivalent of the Popemobile, brought out on every public occasion so that the King might be received by his adoring people. Instead, when one glimpses Charles, or the other major royals, in public, it is usually in the back of an extremely expensive and suitably petrol-guzzling vehicle, which sits at odds with the monarch’s avowed commitment to the environment. In private, at least, the King has now found a compromise.

The two years since the coronation of King Charles have been largely disappointing ones for the royal family. A great deal of this was due to factors that none of its senior members could have had any control over – Harry; the Duke of York; cancer. But, in these pages, I have also expressed doubts that the King has been fully in control of the public aspects of the role. Compared to his mother, he has often seemed a tentative, slightly querulous presence on the throne: a figure who had longed to rise to the highest level of responsibility for all his adult life, and was found wanting when he finally became attained it. But in a week in which the King has been very much on display during the country’s VE Day celebrations, he has been magnificent in two separate regards.

After Elizabeth II died on 8 September 2022, it became of paramount national importance that a suitable memorial was constructed in memory of her and her unparalleled reign. Since it was announced that some of the leading architects in the country would be in competition to come up with something that would act as a fitting testament to her, there has been fevered speculation as to which design would be triumphant. Something suitably stately and reverential, perhaps, to remember the late Queen as a public figure? Or perhaps something brilliantly daring and unusual, which would have the artistic establishment in raptures at its encapsulation of the country’s greatest ever monarch? After all, if a terrible idea has come this far, what is to stop it going all the way? Alas.