Buzzards
‘OK, fingers on buzzards, please.’
‘OK, fingers on buzzards, please.’
‘HVQLO TWXBD YZRSU JDMVN SDYGH.’
‘It’s not fair. Why should I have to fund your lifestyle choice?’
‘You’re running at full capacity! You need another in-tray.’
‘Why does every cloud look like an invasion map to you?’
‘Sorry, babe, I should have pointed out — that’s Dad’s chair.’
‘Well, if you think you’re tickling my ivories you can think again.’
‘Oh no! It’s the mummy’s curse!’
A return to the age of steam
‘Then she said those three little words that changed my life: “Buy to Rent”.’
‘Here’s an idea — let’s run it up the flagpole and see who salutes it.’
Celibacy
‘I couldn’t afford the fare to Paddington. I’m Victoria Coach Station bear.’
Clown