Eurovision
‘I demand a yes/no referendum.’
More cartoons
Thursday
Ukip 3
‘I know it’s unhealthy, but I just can’t give up voting Ukip.’
Lions
‘We’re not “in the jungle, the mighty jungle” and we’re not “sleeping tonight”, so please stop singing that song.’
Flies
‘Flies?’
Vampire
‘You can tell your friends at Ukip that this has nothing to do with him coming from Eastern Europe.’
Conspiracy
Intimacy
‘Too much Facebook, I think — I can’t be intimate in private any more.’
Annoyance
‘I’m going to have to ask you to leave, Sir. Your constant complaining about mobile phones is disturbing the other customers.’
Snake
‘I’m tempted by the apple.’
Yewtree
‘In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes — and then arrested.’
Tweet 4
‘So, what’s new since your tweet 20 seconds ago?’
Breakup 2
Latest coalition disagreement
Thursday
Benefits
‘Well, Sir Godfrey, the benefit cuts are beginning to sort the men from the boys.’
Phone 2
‘Your phone has a voice recognition function — how come you don’t?’
Clowns
‘I can’t stand people who don’t suffer fools gladly.’
Ukip 2
‘Bloody Ukip, coming over here, taking our votes…’
666
‘Try calling 666.’
Holidays
‘There’s another one of us looking at brochures of holidays we can no longer afford.’
Baby 3
‘Your baby’s actually quite ugly. Airbrushing’s an extra 20 quid.’
Escape
‘Why walk around the garden shaking dirt from your trousers? I swear he is up to something in that shed.’